Hi everyone--

I actually came across an article about Kim Basinger's struggle with panic attacks and agoraphobia, and she ended it with a wonderful quote she'd heard that I wanted to share:

You know, there is a story a lady handed me and I don't have the paper with me. I should have brought it with me but it's about someone giving someone an assignment to go to war with fear. Or go to battle with fear. And they go... "Ya know, fear... I want to ask you - what can I do to conquer you? What do I do?". And fear took a deep breath and said well... "My two strengths are... I get in your face and I speak *very* loudly. And she says "Well, how do I conquer you?" and fear says "The only way you can conquer me is don't do what I say." And that made so much sense to me. So everytime I go out and I take a deep breath, if there's any anxiety in me, I say "Ok fear - I hear in my head what you're telling me to do - and I'm not going to do it".

I love the idea that fear's power is that it gets up in our faces and speaks very loudly. I think that is so beautifully put. And, that is what makes it so difficult, because it's so loud and close-up and intense. But, if someone came up to you and started telling you terrible, untrue, scary things, would you believe them? Probably not. I know that I'd probably tell them to shut up and leave me alone! Which, I'm realizing, is exactly what we have to tell our fear.

Hi Lori, that was great to read! So, Fear says "don't do what i say". I went through my own experience quite recently where i had an insight into the nature of my own fear, which is very loud and makes a big noise and scares the hell out of me! (as K. Bassinger said) And i understood (won't go into the details of how this evolved) that my fear is that of a very young child, who i never listened to and got louder and louder. So, it makes sense to me to meet her face to face (as she certainly is IN MY FACE!) and to neither fight with her nor run away. I let her know i'm here (me, the adult) and that I'M in charge, not her. It seems to work much better than the other tools i was trying to use. Before i saw this listing, i saw something else you wrote on the suggestions for new Forums and was just about to write you a few lines, and there here you are again! First of all, is there really anything one can do about MVP? Also, i was so glad to see your comment about addressing those with agoraphobia, people who are much more limited than the average and who are not able to work or to go almost anywhere. I have asked for something similar at the same Forum. Okey Dokey, thank's for your writings. Linda (Toronto)

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Linda

Lindi--

Thanks for your reply. I agree that, for me, too, my anxiety is a little kid who's still scared of the world and of being alone and who will say or do ANYTHING to get me to give into her. But, she doesn't need to be given into; she needs to be nurtured and learn that the world is safe. Maybe then she'll stop yelling.

As for the MVP, I have a pretty long post about it in the "General" Forum, called "Does anyone else have MVP?" or something to that effect. And, yes, you can control the symptoms, mainly by learning not to fear or overreact to them. I've recently learned not to fear the heart palpitations that are a common symptom, and it has helped enormously. Not only do they not bother me when they come, but, since I'm not scared, they don't happen nearly as often.

Good luck!
Lori

Lori,

What you said was awesome! It made me look at my fear in a new way! You just tell it to "kiss this, and I don't mean on my rosy red lips"! I'm sorry, but that may work for me! Thank you for your insight, that was great!

Cindy