Does anyone feel really quilty for not being able to control your emotions? I never know when I'm going to have it together enough to go to work or a social event. It's very scary and frustrating. I feel bad and low when I can't go to work because of my emotions because I know it puts my business in a jam. Fortunately I work for my father, but that again is the worser of two evils. He dosen't seem to completely get the picture, but tries to understand. But what I'm really asking is how do you deal with this feeling of quilt?????????????????????

Sometimes I feel like I can't control my sadness when there's no reason to feel sad, or my anger, or my crying. It always helps me to "do" something - depending on how I feel. Sometimes it actually helps me to throw myself into work. Sometimes it helps to "lose myself" in a good book.

As for feeling guilty, yes. I have felt guilty. But guilt is only more depressing and makes me feel angry. This was from the tapes:

Guilt is depressing,
Guilt is stagnating,
Guilt keeps us trapped in the past,
Guilt is anger directed at oneself,
Guilt is arrogance,
Guilt is another control issue,
Guilt allows us to avoid,
Guilt is an emotional rip-off.

There have been times where I was so low or emotional that I didn't feel I could do something (like sing in choir, or go to dinner at my in-laws, or take my son to a play date). I'm sometimes afraid someone will see that I'm just not right. But I have always managed to go to the function. And things have turned out okay.

[This message has been edited by Helen (edited 02-05-2001).]

I feel really guilty because my boyfriend wants to go to the movies (which I am terrified of, because it's where my first really bad attack took place) and I get so exhausted after a long day of worrying and fighting the panic attack (which I now know not to do), that I just want to stay at home when I leave work. He's been great, but I still feel guilty because it's been 2 months since this started for me and I'm not yet able to completely put the feelings aside. I feel so bad about not being NORMAL and the way I used to be. But this guilt is only feeding the fire, I'm afraid!