Actually, it isn't, but I turned it into one.

One of my worries is that the more I drive the car, the more likely it is that I will get into an accident. I don't even fear getting hurt, just the hassle afterward. The only time I would go out was when I needed something, like to go to the grocery store, and everything I need is within about 3 miles of my house. I never would think of driving myself somewhere just for fun. (We do go places, but my husband always drives.) Of course, statisitically, the more I drive the car, the more likely it is that I will get into an accident, but that doesn't stop me from doing other things. The more I go for a walk, the more likely it is I'll get hit by a car, but that doesn't stop me from going for walks. The more I stay in the house, the more likely it will fall on me during an earthquake, but you don't see me sleeping in the back yard.

After listening to lesson 8, I decided that I would drive myself to the beach, and not even the closest beach, but the one that I liked the best. It would be about 70 miles round trip. I told myself that if I decided to turn around when I reached the freeway exit or got to Malibu, that would be o.k. This would be by far the furthest I have driven since we moved to this house 9 years ago. Anyway, along the way, someone in front of me had to stop quickly. I had to stop very quickly - tire squealing, brake burning quickly. No one ran into anyone, but the oil pressure and battery warning lights came on. That scared me. I pulled off the road and thought, "This doesn't make any sense. Something must have gotten jarred." I turned off the car for about 10 seconds then turned it back on again and it was fine.

I got to the beach and there was hardly anyone there, being that it was a winter weekeday. You never know what the weather is going to be at the beach since it may not be like what it is inland where I live, but it was sunny. The tide was out, so I had a bunch of tidepools to check out. I'm like a kid when it comes to tidepools. I also found some seashells of kinds that we rarely find.

On the way back, I was taking one of the rather steep and windy canyon roads that I need to use to get home. The car didn't seem to have any power going up those hills and a string of about six cars formed behind me. There was no passing lane. I kept thinking that the people behind me must be getting annoyed with me. Then I thought that I shouldn't worry about what other people think. That didn't change my mind, but it was a minor victory that I even realized what I was thinking. I did eventually come to a passing lane, and it ended up that only one of those cars behind me wanted to pass.

When I got home, I was so tired from my big day that I took a nap and I didn't kick myself for needing it, like I usually would. I had some anxiety all day, but I also fell like "I rule".

Now, instead of thinking that the more I drive the car, the more likely it is that I will get into an accident, I try to think, "The more I drive the car, the more I will get to see."

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Lefty,

Oh my head!!! This is fabulous. Hooray for you. You should be very proud. The most wonderful thing is your self-talk. Your attitude is everything. And your attitude is great.
I know you don't know me from a head of lettuce, but I'm very proud of you.

Lefty,

Your day sounded so nice, walking on the beach, the air, the water, the seashells. It must have been very beautiful, peaceful and calming. What a treat! And you DID IT! I am so happy for you. You are right, the more you drive, the more you will see! Enjoy your excursions! Warm wishes, LizB

Lefty,

Great story!!!!I am just the same way with doing stuff that's only like 3 miles from the house. You are so inspirational for me. Driving is my gig too, especially in the OC. I only live 4 miles from the ocean and I haven't walked on the beach since Christmas 2004!!!I thank you for the posting. Question: Do you take meds when you drive? My goal on this program is to stop, but I took a half a xanax yesterday when I was driving.

Lefty, that was an incredible story! I love what you said, the more you drive the more you will see! Beautiffuly said. I too had fears of driving when I was going thru my anxiety and that is such a great way to look at it. The beach is such a powerful place as well, I have a visualization of it on my site. You did so fabulous! You deserved the nap, you earned it and I hope you enjoyed your day! Great post!

I take my meds every morning when I first get up. (I take klonopin, zoloft, and effexor. I also take a klonopin before I go to bed.) I don't notice any drowsiness. I have not had a panic attack in a long time but I do have generalized anxiety almost all of the time, regardless of what I am doing. Driving is not the only thing I worry about but it is one of the easier things for me to work on.

I decided on doing this the evening before I actually did it. I was afraid that I would be too nervous that I wouldn't sleep well, but I didn't have a problem. I had to get up once through the night and I said to myself, "We are going to do something different tomorrow." (I don't usually refer to myself in the plural and don't know why I did that.) I felt anxiety, but also excitement.

Here's the irony. The next day, my husband had to take my car to work because his was leaking. That was the first time he ever drove my car any distance. He ended up breaking the antenna on my car.

Mopar - the beach is calling you.

Lefty,

Thanx for the insight, but the weather hasn't been that great. I used to go all the time. I'm married to a surfer, and his best friend lives across the street from the sand at Sunset. I'll go back soon when it gets hot again!

Thanx again,
Jodi- 5 mopars

That's really wonderful to have a walk on the beach!
You are so lucky to have that chance. I have never been able to be on any beach of sea. Actually I have only seen the sea once, from the plane. I am looking forward to enjoy the sunshine on the beach. But gladly I had enjoyed myself on the river beach for numerous times.

Give ourselves big hugs for stepping out.