I have suffered from anxiety/depression/ panic attacks sice 1992. I am a 39yo divorced mom of 4, and grandma of 1 (wow, the joys of my 3 month old grandson). I worked as a ER nurse up until 5/29/06. I am on a medical leave from there since my anxiety started getting the better of me and I became agoraphobic. My world quickly closed in on me after leaving my job. I shortened my driving distance, avoided stores and public places, then finally stooped driving and did not leave my house. I got to the point last year where I panicked when I stepped outside of my front door. Anyways, I spent several months at this point. I tried occasionally to go places, but never seemed to succeed. I have had the program for about 8 years, but always stopped in the middle of it whenever I was feeling better.......Well, I came here to toot my own horn. I began an exercise program about 1 month ago and am starting to physically feel better. Also, seems like I am starting to tone up, which is an extreme ego boost
The last week I have begun driving . If you really want some help with driving, get the driving cd by Carolyn......omg this is a lifesaver. Carolyn is one of my best friends and I've never met her. I put in that cd or listen to her on other tapes and it always seems like she is talking to me personally, giving me the praise and confidence I need to proceed without running. Also, her personality just cracks me up . Anyways, everyday I do drive at night (probably because there is very little traffic) and I am up to about a mile circumference. I kept avoiding a small bridge (like 500 ft)in my neighborhood but knew I had to drive over it to start my recovery. Yesterday, I made up my mind and decided to go over it. And ya know what, I made it. I was so excited I turned around probably 5 or 6 times just to drive back over it . What a great feeling!!! I am also driving through store parking lots and just sitting in parking spaces. I actually parked and went to the ATM 2 nights ago. I was so panicked that I forgot my pin number. I wanted to run but talked myself off the limb. I stayed, called my daughter, then went back to the ATM and completed my transaction!!! Today, I went driving in the middle of the afternoon, talk about anxiety. But I was ok and actually stopped at 3 corner stores and pumped gas . The biggest obstacle was waiting for the deli to slice my lunchmeat. Seemed like she was hand-carving each slice. I wanted to either jump behind the deli and do it myself or run. But I went home with ham, balogna, and cheese and no, I did not slice it myself . Just wanted to give myself a pat on the back and try to encourage my other fellow agoraphobics. I also am ending a relationship with a drunk that always put me down. I must say, I miss him at times, we were together for 4 1/2 years; but, God what a great feeling to not have someone else beating me up mentally. I still have some hope that one day he will change. But, ya know what, it is NOT my problem!! Well, time to go for my nightly drive .
Carolyn, you are my hero!!!
Have a great day all
Karen

Micki,
You are doing so awesome what an amazing thing you have accomplished. I was so happy to read about the driving cd as I had just ordered it a few days ago because I also have a lot of trouble driving. Waiting at the deli counter is amazing and driving over that bridge awesome. You give people like me who are also agoraphobic hope for the future. Wow you should do more than pat yourself on the back you should get yourself a treat just for you.
Congrat's
God bless,
Mimigirl

Thanks for all the support Mimi......still hard for me to gracefully accept compliments . You will love the driving cd!!! So good to hear you ordered it . Funny thing you mention a treat. I am terrible when it comes to junk food especially chocolate. I need to really cut back on that stuff. (I treat myself everday, lol)Maybe I need to come up with some other reward for myself, lol........Glad to hear my success helps give you hope . Have a wonderful week-end!!!
Karen

Where do you order the driving cd from??? I too have trouble driving. But my problem is driving alone. I tend to fear that something bad is going to happen to me and my family won't know what happened to me. I know it's just me letting my mind go wild.

Hi Denise.......I can't seem to find the link, but it is right from this site. When I ordered it there were several different cds for sale, directly from the Midwest Center. Just look around on this site.......Hope this helps
Karen

Just wanted to update my progress.....I have been slowly extending my driving boundaries . My goal is to get to my parents house for Thanksgiving and actually visit there comfortably for a few hours. My parents live about 8 miles away. I have gotten to about mile 7!!! 1 more mile to go. I also want to slowly extend my visits before Thanksgiving, to build up to that "comfort zone". I've been driving over bridges!! My radius is about 7 miles around my house, which is excellent after being housebound for the last year!! I can feel my freedom!!! I LOVE it!! As far as some things that really work for me that are on the driving tape: I try to stay in the moment, look at the beauty around me, smell the fresh air. singing really helps me, I made a cd of my favorite songs , have confidence and praise myself, and the breathing is a great help. I think what made a difference for me is when Carolyn talks about hyperventilating and all the body symptoms that come with it. I now know that I can control and make the body symptoms go away, just by breathing,, I feel so much more in control..........I also am still dealing quite a bit with the guy I was dating. Itis not a good situation as the break-up has gotten kind of ugly. One thing, I am realizing is how bad he made me feel and how much better I feel without him!! The sadness and hurt still comes as I do love him, but I realize this is one major change I need. This change will be good. I do not want to stay stuck. I want to be happy (yes, I control my own happiness) and I want to live my life to the fullest!! This can only be done without him. Maybe one day he will change, but this is out of my control and I can not worry about it........I still am having difficulty with stores...There are 2 corner stores and 1 drugstore I go in and I am starting to feel comfortable. I also can pump gas!!! Since I still do most of my driving at night, my next goal is going into a 24 hr supermarket and slowly extend my comfort zone. I also am slowly working on going for drives during the day!! I'm on the road to recovery and loving it!!!! Karen

Dear Karen:

I think you should be so very proud of yourself. Recovery fr Anxiety & any respective fears is quite difficult. But, you know what? You're doing it. Recovery isn't a MARATHON - its a JOURNEY - takes time. That's ok though, most things in life worth while - take time.

Continue your journey, 1 day @ a time & praise yourself till the cows come home FOR ALL YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS - you have courage, will, & determination. BE PROUD!!

LENORE



I'D RATHER CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN, THEN CRAWL IN THAT HOLE!

Thanks Lenore!! what a concept, "I am on a journey"!! I am going to use that as my motto

Congrats all on getting over the agoraphobia! I use to have a horrible fear of driving again. I didn't drive for a whole year in 2003 until I started to listen to listen to the relaxation tape in Lucinda's program. This year in 2007 I actually drove over 200 miles one way in bad icy conditions to a wedding and drove back. I even had couple of anxiety attacks while driving and just kept driving. I was determined to go to the wedding. I had a great time and enjoyed all the Fredricksburg, Texas German style pubs.

Congrats!! Always great to hear positive stories, as they re-inforce my own positives. I have a a way to go on my journey, but as Carolyn says "the speed doesn't matter, just the direction". And, I know I am heading in that direction I like to post about my recent achievements to help others see that progress can be made

just an update...made it to my parents house 3 times this week......the first visit was horrible, I wanted to run, but I stayed for 30 minutes.....seems like the visits and the drives there are getting easier...I actually took my 12yo and 9yo daughters with me, which is big because up until then I was driving alone since I didn't want any outside stimuli.....It went good with them and I was able to deal with their "nagging" in the car
soo, I know I will make it to my parent's house on Thanksgiving!! Also went into a different store yesterday, got a lil anxiuos, but finished my shopping!! Lastly, I have had no contact with the alcoholic, I am getting stronger!! I also notice myself feeling better without his constant put-downs. I notice my energy level has been better also, and I am getting more motivated to do things around the house Hope everyone has a great week-end!!

Darla from the Midwest Center says: "The Driving with Comfort CD can be ordered by calling 800.944.9460 M-F 9-5 EST."

Hope this helps.

Heather

Here's the update:
I made it to my parents house and stayed almost 4 hours with very minimal anxiety. I saw my sister and brother-in-law I have not seen in 1 1/2 years. I also met their beautiful triplets that just turned 1 year old. OMG, they are soooooo awesome. What a great holiday!!
I have seen the alcoholic and have had some relapses where he is concerned, but I am back away from him and doing ok....
Today has really helped me see how much I have missed out on the last 1 1/2 years. Now I know more than ever that I am ready to continue moving forward....I don't want to miss out on my life anymore
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!
Karen

Micki (Karen) I am so happy to read this!! I am agoraphobic. I am in the middle of changing my meds. I started a forum on it. Maybe you could read it? It's called going off paxil starting lexapro. I can't wait till I get to where your at!!

Hi Victoria!! I did read your post. I am on the paxil and tried to get off it twice before, basically because I hate the side effects (weight gain and decreased libido). Anyways, I never got through the anxiety of getting off of it and just figured it wasn't the right time for me. So I am still on the paxil, If and when I do get to the point that I don't need the paxil I will try again. I have been on it for almost 10 years. Just figured why should I put myself through the anxiety and "what-if" thinking when I didn't have to. Just try to do some stuff, that's all I can say.....I went into a store yesterday I haven't been in for months even though I was not feeling right. You just have to try.......