Hi Everyone:

I'm Carol, I love this Forum. I love to hear peoples Triumphs over anxiety.

A couple people, Allison, Elisa and myself have formed an Accountiblity Group. We want to check in with each other to see how we're doing with the skills and to be accountable to each. If anyone wants to join please jump in.

I'll start with my triump story. I went to Winners today to get a top for my daughter. I was all ready feeling yucky, tired and bloated from o.ding on chocolate (I know... very bad when you have an anxiety disorder). These symptoms always set the stage for a panic episode. Well.. the old familar symptoms started happening. I wanted to run but I stayed there and did some deep breathing, took out my flash card and tryed practicing letting go. It took me a while, I did go to my car for a few minutes and then sit outside the store for a little while. But I managed to go back inside and purchase a top. My heart was pounding at the check out counter, but I didn't let it get out of hand. Before an anxiety episode would have frightened me so much I would have had a full blown attack of a 10, instead it only went to an 8 and then I calmed right down. Experiences like these are so exhilarating. It makes me want to go out and practice some more.

Carol

Hello Carol First, I want to Thank you for getting us all organized, and letting me to get to know you and Allison. Allison was kind enough to try to teach me to copy and paste, but I failed, so I'm glad we are meeting here

I had an interesting weekend. Friday I woke up with an anxiety attach, and I was able to do my skills I've learned, and turn what could of been a bad day into a good one Saturday was my daughters last meet to see if they were going to state(if they won). I had Anxiety, because I was thinking how she could of been gone last month, and now she is trying for state! I was sitting on a swing at the start line, and I was swinging, because I was anxious, and my heart was racing, and I was just focusing on Kelly, when a family who wanted to see their daughter stood right infront of me, I mean butts right in my face, and I asked politely if they could move just a little so I could see my daughter, and of course they didn't want to, and asked me why I couldn't stand up, little did they know if I did stand up I could of fainted or something, because of my anxiety. So after asking a couple of times for them to move, and they didn't. I did my breathing techniques, and thought how wonderful it is that I have my daughter, and I stood on that swing I was sitting on, and looked like a fool, but enjoyed every minute of it My daughter didn't make state, but I told her that I was proud, and then I saw that family that stood in front of me, and asked if their daughter made state, and they said yes, and I said awsome that's great, and that made me feel even better
Sunday(today) I felt a little spacey, and my heart was beating rapid, but I had a good day. My son had his last football game, and they(the team) won the superball championship, and I was around a lot of people, but I just didn't talk much, and I just tried to help out at the tail gate party. I kept reminding myself the positive dialoge, and breath with the teachnique the program teaches, and I kept from having any panic attachs. The best thing was that both my kids had great sportsmanship, and they made me very happy
See you tomorrow! Elisa

Good Morning

I started my day listening to the relaxation viedo on the online test I am doing, and I love to see the pictures while I'm relaxing. This morning I found out that my daughter has a little secret, she has a boyfriend, and she felt she didn't need to tell me about him when she went with her friends to the movies. I'll be asking a lot of question this evening, wish me luck! I'll give you an update this evening, I'm going to have a very busy day! Everyone have a good day Elisa

Hi Elisa:

Thats great, you handled it well. Isn't it exhilarating to be able to control your panic and watch it go down. I don't think there's any more of an uplifting feeling for me ,right now. Having had this for most of my life, I became complacant and just accepted that I'd have this thing for the rest of my life. I know now if I keep practicing I going to beat it.

So you decided to do the on-line program. Thats great. I am too and enjoying it. I just wish they'd let us do the 15 weeks as apposed to 4 weeks. Oh well..I shouldn't complain because its free.

Just to let you and Allison know. I do most of my e-mailing at work. If you don't hear from me for a few days, it means I'm on days off. I'll get back to you when I return. This is my last night (Monday). I have three days off starting tomorrow. But come to think of it I'm doing the on-line program now, I'll have to use my computer at home. I may check in at home as well.

Hope your evening is going well
Carol

hi,
what 4 week online program are you guys reffering to?

Hi,

You'll see if you look in the General Forum a post from the MWC advertising it. The MWC is looking for people to try out their new online program. It's exactly the same as the tapes/cd's, just you're using the computer to get all the info. and skills needed. They ask just to give them feedback on the program. We can use it for 4 weeks.

Carol
I hope you enjoy your 3 days off! We'll miss you!

I'm glad that I did sign up for the program, it's been great reviewing everything

Take care, Elisa

Hello Allison, Carol, and everyone

I hope that you are all well, and I know that we won't hear from Carol, because she' on vaccation, but I hope that you Allison are not on this forum, because of something good! Let us know how you are doing? This group started, because of you, and I hope you are well. Everyone have a good day! Elisa

Hi everyone! I'm so glad we're all on this forum together...it's so nice to be able to communicate like this. Speaking of communication...the weirdest thing happened with my login. I put in my email address and password like usual but it didn't work, so I asked to be sent my password. My password was something totally new that I'd never heard of before...weird huh? But it worked, so here I am

It was SO great to read your practicing stories. They're so encouraging! Carol, congrats for practicing in the midst of panic in the store. That's really wonderful. And that you were kind enough to realize that you needed to give yourself a break in the car, but that you got right back in the store to get the top, that's really awesome.

Elisa, I think you handled that thing with the people standing in front of you really well. That would have made me so angry! And I can totally relate to wanting to sit down rather than stand. Oh, and a little while ago you asked me if it cost more to go through the program with a coach. The answer is yes, a lot more, but it was worth it. I can give you more details if you want.

Well, I've had a good couple of days since I wrote last. One thing I've really been working on is positive, reassuring self-talk in response to body symptoms. I feel like this is my biggest thing to practice because sometimes undercurrents of body symptoms (i.e. spaceyness, fuzzyness, general weakness, inner nervousness) tend to be fairly constant for me. I have seen great improvement from where I used to be, but I still have to respond to them quite often. I'm spending two weeks on session three cause I feel like I could use the practice.

So thanks so much for the support, I'll write again soon.

~Allison

Hey Allison, the password thing happened to me to, and I had to email MW, and they sent me a new password. Are you doing the online program? I wonder if that had to do something with our passwords? I have all those same symtoms that you mensioned, and I was having all them that day of my daughters meet, so I don't know how I kept my anger in?, but I'm glad I did I send an instant message to bakepear(or something like that), because I noticed that she worked for MW, and I asked her about if we had to pay more for coaching?, but she or he never answered, so now I know, thanks for telling me. Take Care, Elisa

Alison, I had the same thing happen to my password as well. I haven't heard back about it either. Anyone from MWC care to reaspond with an explanation?

First- when I logged on, I used the new password that was given to me, and that didn't work, so I tried the old password that I chose, and it worked again? go figure

I was having bad feelings yesterday, like a death was going to happen. I have had these feelings before, and it seemed to come true, so now when I get these feelings, I'm always thinking something is going to happen, and then panic. I worked through my panic with the breathing, and trying to put good thoughts in my head, but it wasn't easy. I was gone all day, and was around people, so I really tried hard not to have an attack! When I got home, I was surprised with all the messages I had on my machine-6, and I usually only get around 2, so I started to panic to listen to the messages. One out of 6 was bad news, my parents were surposed to come in from out of town, and couldn't, because my dad was sick, so I called right away. It turned out he has a herniya(can't spell). I put all these bad thoughts into my head, even before I knew anything, so I need to figure out how to stop these thoughts, which I get a lot.
I don't believe in pre-understanding the future, if that makes sence?, but I've had situations in my life, for example, before my brother died, I had these feelings, and the next day he was dead. Has anyone gone through this? This is a big fear of mine, and I want it to stop. To me it's fantacy thinking, it's just feelings, and not facts. Take care, Elisa

Hi Everyone,

Well..I'm back from my days off, boy they go by too fast.

Elisa, I know what you mean. Behavioural Therapists call that kind of thinking "Jumping to Conclusions". As Lucinda says in one of the tapes, when you think these bad thoughts, try to see a big red stop sign and say out loud if your alone "STOP". I'm assuming alot here and jumping to conclusions that probably aren't true. Try to switch something positive. While doing this remember to take deep breaths. I am writing this to hopefully help you and also to remind myself that this is what we need to do for ourselves. I hope this helps.

Well...on my days off I had a setback/growth spirt. I had a full blown attack while at my daughters gymnastics, I was talking to a neighbour (she already knows about my attacks). I was sharing something personal with her that I wasn't quite ready too. I don't know why I did, but anyway. The feelings started coming on. I told her that I needed some time to work thru the panic. I did stay in the situation, I didn't leave. I let the panic do its worse, though I know I was tightening myself more than letting go. This "letting go" is the hardest thing to learn. Any suggestions on how to "let go" when your feeling the these horrible sensations?

I am proud of myself for staying in the situation. But I can't help but get down when I have an attack like this. Unfortually I had to miss a meeting that I wanted to attend that night, because the effects of the attack were still lingering. I couldn't sleep well that night either because I was feeling down about not going to the meeting and I obsessing what the neighbour must think of me. Does anyone get down on themselves still,when they have a setback? How do you not get down?

Thanks Carol

Carol,
I have been in the program since Sept. 21, 2005. I can definitely tell that I am getting better but still have yucky feelings creep in. I find myself, especially at work, comparing myself to what others tell me about their life ie. go all kinds of places, do lots of things with such ease and I find myself almost panickly thinking I will not ever be able to do this or that, or have friends in, etc. For the past two days I try to stop that thought as soon as it surfaces and tell myself that Yes, I will be able to do those things probably in the near future. I am still working on Lesson 4 as I just don't feel comfortable going further until I have got Lesson 1, 2, 3 and 4 ingrained in me. It does feel kind of like fighting a war - those old negative feelings keep coming to the surface and then I try to stop those feelings and feed myself positive self talk and the whole time the negative self talk keeps trying to come back. So yes, Carol, sometimes I still get discouraged too when I have an attack like you described I think "Well I am never going to get better" - ANOTHER NEGATIVE THOUGHT!!! kw.

I had a very interesting day yesterday. I did have a death happen, my friend Wanda died, and she was 91, her son called me, and wanted me to talk at her service, but I said"if you want me to have a panic attach infront of your family, I'll try, but it's best if I don't."
Then my daughter had her boy she wanted us to meet, claming to be boyfriend, come over last evening with other friends, and it turned out good, but I need to get a hold of this boys mom. My daughter is bi-polor, and a cutter, and she is 14, which I think is very young to have a boyfriend, friend who is a boy is ok to me, but boyfriend is not.
I also had a strange physical thing happen? I went for a walk in the morning, beautiful day, came home, and started house cleaning, next my leg was starting to hurt, and I pulled my pants down, and my leg was swallon, and bruised? My hubby wanted me to call 911, because by time he called at noon, I couldn't walk, but I had this before,(thought it was a spider bite) and he told me to take benydryl, and it worked! my leg swelling went down, but with a huge bruise? Strange huh?
I really used my breathing teachnque and positive thought thinking yesterday! I hope today is better
HI Carol, and the new person kw I guess I should of put this at the begining of the post
Well everyone have a good weekend! I'm having my inlaws today! Take care, Elisa