I wanted to type this and add it to the message boards because I am hoping it will find anyone out there who may benefit from what I have to say.
I started the program officially not too long ago. I am only on my second week. I had had the program in my home for the better part of a month before i mustered the courage to actually focus and truly begin my process in eradicating anxiety and fear from my life.
Between the Cd's and listening to other people's stories and realizing I'm not alone with my symptoms, practicing the breathing excercises, doing the homework and using the relaxation tapes at least once a day, I have already felt a significant change in mysel. I have been able to do things I never thought I would be able to.
Today I went to a seminar centerting around a choice in career I have always been interested in. Two weeks ago you couldn't have paid me to go. While sitting around all those strangers I began to feel my heart race and feeling short of breath. I remembered the 4-2 rule and before I even realized it I had calmed myself down and was able to focus on exactly what was needed to be focused on.

Atlas thank you for sharing your success! I think you are doing great! Bravo
Very encouraging!

Jill~

That's amazing progress!! It must be an amazing feeling realizing what you accomplished. Keep it up.

congratulations! Things get even better!!

Good luck!!

That is awesome I only hope that I too can have positive results. I just purchased the program and I should be receiving it next week. Keep up the good work

Things will begin to progress immediately. I was beyond skeptical before I actually sat down and began the program. What I intitially gained from it the most was the comfort in knowing that you and I are not alone. It may seem trite but the truth is there are so many people who are suffering from the same thing every day and you and I are the ones strong enough to do something about it.
Good luck to you in your quest in becoming exactly the person you have always dreamed of becoming.

-Atlas

For the past few days, I haven't been feeling too good. I began my fourth week on Monday and that session really hit home for me. I am definately a perfectionist at times and become completely overwheled with myself and my thoughts if things dont go my way.

For some reason in the beginning of the week, I woke up with what seemed to be in the middle of some sort of anxiety attack. I couldn't even look myself in the mirror. It was very strange. I pulled it together the best I could with the breathing and positive thinking but despite the fact i got dressed and left the house, the rest of my day I completely felt on edge. Very ansy, very nervous. Afraid to even speak.
A few days had gone by and all was seemingly well until tonight.
I went to a party with old friends, expecting it to be the bash of the year and it turned out to be a dead. No fun whatsover. No one was talkin to each other. Everyone was basically in their own little clicks. No real socializing at all. That made me feel very anxious and I created in my head that everyone was staring at me and listening to my conversations. I played it cool for about an hour and then, with the suggestion of a friend, decided to leave.
The car ride home was silent because it had put both my friend and I in a foul mood that we had wasted our evening on this. I began to think that I was completely out of place in the world and was doing nothing real with my life and couldnt wait to get home and hide in underneath the sheets. Thats how extreme my thoughts had gotten from just being bored. I began to think that I will never be able to move one from this core of fear that i feel almost every day and, despite the potential I feel in my heart and soul, I will never amount to anything.

I write all of this tonight because it seems that the only people who could possibly understand and completely empathize with this are the people who read these posts.

What do you do when you start to completely give up on yourself? What do you do to drag yourself out of this dark place inside of you?

It helps to talk about it with other people who know what you're going through. I had a terrible time last night at a birthday dinner outing with family. Someone kept saying things to aggravate me, and it worked. I kept my cool during the whole time and tried to make the best of things so I wouldn't mess up the celebration. It really hit me after I left though, and didn't sleep good last night. All day today I've felt depressed. I hate it when this happens.

Michele,

I'm sorry you had to deal with that at the party. I know the feelin of being picked on. usually i take it with a grain of salt if not coming back with my own quips but sometimes people go too far. It has had the same effects of me also. I hope youre feelin better today and thank you for responding to my post.