Of the things I have avoided due to anxiety, the most depressing thing was romance... I seldom went on dates, and certainly never initiated (proposed) those dates that I did go on. If I accepted a invitation, I anticipated and experienced pre- and post-date panic attacks (primarily nausia).

What if I have a panic attack in front of my date? (He'll think I'm crazy or pathetic!)

What if I throw up?! (And sometimes I did prior to or following a date) But what if I threw up during the date and embarrassed myself?

So long as I was willing to face my fears due to this program, I knew that eventually I would come face-to-face with a prospective boyfriend while dating. Then would come the moment of truth: telling him about my anxiety.

Well, it happened. I went on a double-date, where I played a game of truth or dare. My date drew the dare card to "Kiss" someone. Of course, that person would be me and my heart would fly off the deep end. After kissing, the next dare sent me racing to the bathroom where I threw up. My date and my friend's date asked me if I was okay (how embarrassing: "they must know I threw up!"). I told my date that I would tell him later about what happened and I did. I spilled my guts while he drove me home (telling him about anxiety - panic - medication, et al). He held my hand and stroked my leg. Then, when I thought all was said and done, and I was sure that when I said "goodbye" it would be forever, he remarked, apart from saying that my condition was interesting and empathizing, that: "It doesn't change the way I feel about you."

Things could not have turned out better. Occationally, I still have anxiety while spending time with my boyfriend (yes, boyfriend!), but I don't have to run from it, hide it, or fear it. The anxiety has been disapating and my confidence soaring. Almost everyday I am conquering a fear, without experiencing much fear, and in constant awareness of the rewards I am reaping with my experiences in this relationship. It is worth it. The anxiety is worth facing just to have the experiences with my boyfriend that I am having... that I never thought possible.

The same thing happened to me...I am excited for you! I love your name Lena. I don't have a middle name so gave myself one and it was that. :0) Does it have a meaning?

Lena sort of is my middle name, minus an "E" at the begin, which is my mother and her mother's name. Hence, I didn't want to change the spelling to "Lina" or something else more commonly seen. I'm not sure what the name means in any cultural or mythological origin, but I did like the fact that a favorite and inspiring cartoon character was named "Lina Inverse" in an anime series called "Slayers." It helps that the character is very confident and optimistic, but I think the name is also a joke because the "inverse" of her name is "anil."

congrats to you, i hope things are still going well.