Since I'm new, I guess I should give a little personal background first: I've been diagnosed with Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia and, though undiagnosed, believe I also have IBS. I'm on an SSRI with a benzodiazapine as needed. The following story is of something I did before I found this program, but I thought I'd share as it helped me a lot.

My circle was growing smaller and smaller. There were fewer and fewer places I could go without having a panic attack. Then, one morning, after having several horrible experiences all in a row, I decided to just throw caution to the wind... literally.

After getting out of my morning classes, I agreed to go with my best friend to watch him skydive. It was a 3 hour drive to the Drop zone, meaning there would be a 3 hour drive back. When we got there, he started taking putting his watch, wallet, etc. in the trunk so he wouldn't have them on him during freefall. Suddenly, I found myself doing the same. He just stared at me in astonishment. He was an experienced jumper and just wanted to share the experience with me by having me there to watch him land, but instead I joined him on the flight. From the moment I undid my watch I was totally calm.

After the necessary on-site training, I suited up. I remember feeling so relaxed as I was being harnessed in with an altimeter strapped to my chest. The plane ride up was great, we all chatted and joked, and I watched the ground fall away. Finally, at 13,500 we all stacked up and started going out the door. Another jumper followed us down with a camera rigged to his helmet so I have the whole thing on film. I'm proud to say I was rated as having a perfect exit

Free fall from that altitude with a 5,000 foot open lasts only 60 seconds or so, but it's the longest 60 seconds of your life. It's impossible to describe what it feels like, apart from simply amazing... and loud (about 120 mph wind rushing past your ears). Once we were under canopy, things got even better. I could see for miles and miles... You haven't seen the sun set until you've seen it gliding under an open chute thousands of feet in the air.

My landing wasn't perfect, but I didn't get either myself or my instructor hurt. As I was still wearing a dress shirt, black slacks, and dress shoes from a presentation I'd given that morning, I felt like James Bond as I climbed out of my jumpsuit.

The whole experience was so incredible and so liberating. Thereafter, whenever I started to feel nervous about going to a grocery store etc. I just told myself, "this is nothing, you've jumped out of a perfectly good airplane from 13,500 feet." I'm not doing so well anymore, but that experience was and continues to be a huge help to me.

As many of you may understand, but nobody I know in my life does, the jump was nothing to me. Staring out the door and knowing there was only air between me and the ground over 13,000 feet below didn't bother me at all. I was, however, absolutely terrified the entire 3 hour car trip to the drop zone. The trip back was only easier because I was still buzzed from the experience.

I know I'm being long winded, but I just thought I'd share this as it has helped me deal with my anxiety. It's important for people like us to know that just because others take things we find difficult for granted, we are still capable of doing things those same people couldn't. I've only skydived twice, but that's twice more than the vast majority of people in the world, and it's knowing I had the courage to do this that's helped keep my self esteem up when attacked by less than understanding people.

I'd be happy to share more about this experience if anyone's interested. As long as this post is getting, there aren't enough words to describe what that day was like.

I LOVE THIS WEBSITE! AND I LOVE YOUR STORY! IT HELPED ME TO REMEMBER SOMETHING SORT OF DAREDEVILISH THAT I DID IN THE YEAR 2000. I AM DEFINATELY NOT TRYING TO ONE UP YOU AS SKYDIVING IS WAY MORE DARING THAN WHAT I DID, BUT IT WILL BE FUN TO SHARE. YOU HAVE TO KNOW ME A LITTLE TO UNDERSTAND THIS SO I WILL JUST SAY THAT BEFORE I FINISHED THE MWC PROGRAM I WOULD NEVER HAVE ATTEMPTED THIS OR EVEN BEFORE I STARTED HAVING PANIC. SO HERE GOES, MY HUSBAND HAD BOUGHT A MOTOR CYCLE BACK THEN AND WE BEGAN HANGING OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS THAT ALL RODE HARLEYS. I WOULD RIDE ON THE BACK OF HIS BIKE AND JUST HATED IT. YOU KNOW THAT OLD PESKY CONTROL THING. ANYWAY ONE OF THE WOMEN THAT WE HUNG OUT WITH HAD A CORVIER TRIKE ( A THREE WHEELER) WHICH WAS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY. WE WENT ON A MAD SEARCH AND FOUND ONE FOR ME THAT MY HUSBAND FIXED UP AND MADE DRIVEABLE FOR ME. ANYWAY WE WOULD DRIVE AROUND LOCALLY AND I THOUGHT I WAS PRETTY DARN COOL. THEN EVERYONE DECIDED THAT WE WERE GOING TO GO ON THE HARLEY RUN IN LAUGHLIN NEVADA THAT SPRING. IN THE CAR FROM MY HOUSE THATS ABOUT A 31/2 HOUR DRIVE. I WAS SO SCARED, NOT JUST OF THE DANGER OF IT BUT "WHAT IF I PANIC" EVEN THO I WAS MUCH BETTER THIS DID COME TO MIND. MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY DID NOT WANT ME TO GO CAUSE LETS FACE IT I WAS NOT THAT EXPERIENCED AND IT WAS A LONG RIDE. WELL IM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT WE GEARED UP AND TOOK OFF. THE WIND IN MY HAIR AND THE SOUND OF THE BIKES NOT TO MENTION THE FRIENDSHIP AND BONDING YOU FEEL WAS GREAT. BUT THEN THE FREEWAY BEGAN TO APPROACH AND MY HEART WAS RACING. NOT TO MENTION AS WE HEADED UP THE FIRST BIG HILL MY TRANSMISSION KEPT SLIPPING OUT OF 4TH GEAR AND IT WAS DRIZZLING AND WINDY. MY BIKE HAS A KICKED OUT FRONT END THAT MAKES IT KIND OF SQUIRLY. ANYWAY I STOPPED ON THE SIDE OF THE FREEWAY AND MY HUSBAND STOPPED WITH ME. I WAS CRYING AND TELLING HIM I CANT DO THIS. HE WANTED TO GO SO BAD BUT WAS CONCERNED FOR ME. HE SAID I WILL STAY RIGHT WITH YOU SO I BUCKED UP AND TOOK OFF. IT TOOK US 9 HOURS TO GET THERE CAUSE WE WOULD STOP AT EVERY REST STOP AND HANG OUT. IT WAS THE HARDEST AND SCARRIEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE, BUT TO THIS DAY I AM SOOOOO PROUD THAT I HUNG IN THERE AND FINISHED. THE RIDE HOME WAS MUCH BETTER EVEN THO I HAD A FEW MOMENTS I CONTROLLED MY THINKING SET MY MIND ON MY GOAL( GETTING HOME IN ONE PEICE) MADE IT HOME. THAT LAST FEW MINUTES OF RIDING WITH MY HUSBAND WAS THE BEST. I AM GOING THRU A ROUGH PATCH WITH MY ANXIETY RIGHT NOW AND I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE THE WEBSITE BECAUSE IT HELPS ME TO REMEMBER MY STRENGHTS NOT JUST MY WEEKNESSES. I HAVE A PICTURE OF ME RIDING THAT RIDE SOMEONE TOOK OF ME ON THE RODE AND I NEED TO TAKE A LOOK AT THAT EVERYDAY IT SEEMS. THANKS FOR YOUR STORY WINDSONG, IT HELPED ME TO REMEMBER THIS. SORRY I GOT SO WORDY BUT IT HELPED TO LAY IT OUT THERE AND MAYBE BOTH OUR STORIES WILL HELP SOMEONE ELSE. HAVE A GREAT DAY!