Elisa,

I'm soo sorry you are having problems with your daughter. How old is she? Maybe this program will benefit her as well. Does she have a good dr?

I'm doing alright, I more recently noticed (I guess this is part of my Social Phobia) that when I am talking to someone on a one to one basis and start talking about personal stuff, I start to get anxious. I think this is why I've been so quiet, I'll listen to people but having to talk about me can be extremely uncomfortable. Does anyone feel that way sometimes?

Way to go Allison. I hope you gave yourself a huge hug for your triumph.

I like to repeat some of what Lucinda talks about and the skills to you guys, in hopes it will help you and me. I think repeated hearing the skills helps drill it into our heads and will become almost second nature when panic may strike again.

Carol

hi im new to this site and looking to make a post and some questions on xanax...can anyone help???please

Hi everyone,

Feelbetterfast, there is a really good forum dealing with medications. It's just a few above the "triumphs" one. There are a lot of people on that that I bet could help you.

Carol, I know what you mean about talking about yourself. I notice that with myself too. Sometimes I think it's really ok to just listen. But other times, it's ok to talk about ourselves. I have to remind myself of this too and remind myself that I am ok, it's just anxiety.

Thanks everyone,

Allison

Hello everyone, it's midnight here, and I woke up to a anxiety attach, but was able to stop it before a huge panic. I'm so glad for what I've learned from this program. I feel like for the first time that I have a little control of myself, too bad I can't control others My daughter is 14 soon to be 15 in Feb. She has a great doctor and threapist. We are on the right road to recovery, we just need patience. It's hard only because I worry that she'll become like my brother who committed suicide, but my brother didn't get the help my daughter is getting, so she'll be ok. I'm getting worried about my hubby, because he dosen't handle these situations well, and me not being in bed right now isn't helping, but I needed to do something, so I'm here. I have so much hope, but sometimes it feels like it's getting squeezed out of me, and I just want to give up, but with you all to help me through this by relating with your situations is helping. I had the best time on the chat room with myself yesterday morning 1st. time I was on, someone came on, and I got off, because I have a hard time reading, and it frustrates me when I'm on, but the 2nd time I went on I was all by myself, and I chatted for at least 5min. and said the most stupid stuff, and no one was there I'm going to do that every morning now, so I can enjoy myself just typing silly thing, and try to laugh I was wondering though if people can read what you put on those chat rooms after you leave?, but I guess I shouldn't care. Well I guess I'll get out of here, but I'm glad I was able to express myself here, thanks for starting this new forum Carol If I keep typing, I'll fill up this post bye!

Elisa..I was glad to meet you tonight. Don't worry about your reading disability..there are many ways to overcome it on the chats to make you feel more comfortable. It is good that your daughter is helping you and you are helping her. I have a 23 year old daughter and she is a huge help to me. I fear that she will become codependent ot me and work to hard to take care of me so I am doing everything I can to take care of myself. sounds like you are too. Keep coming back. It works!
Joan

Hello Joan48
Thanks for helping me out on chat last night or was it this morning I sent you a private message, but I don't know if you'll get it, so if you don't let me know and I'll ask you the question here. Take care, Elisa

Hello everyone

I'm so much better, I'm trying to think like the serenity prayer(accept the things you cannot change). I had my first drum lesson yesterday I LOVED IT! My daughter who is wise, said to me 2wks. ago, "not to live through your(my) kids", if I want someone to learn something(like drums) don't try to make us learn them, you do it yourself if you like drums that much, so I did
I hope everyone has a good day! Take care Elsia

Way to go Elisa, you're learning the drums! You must be such a cool mom. Let us know how it progresses...I myself am a music person and think that the drums are way cool. I really hope your daughter is doing better. It's good that she has such a supportive mom like you and good support in her dr. and therapist. All my best for getting her through this difficult time.

I'm ok...had some really hard news about a beloved church friend passing on. He was in a really tough motorbike accident a few weeks ago, he was making progress, but then he declined again and we heard tonight that he had a peaceful passing. While I was not close to him, I have always really respected and admired him and his relationship with wife, sons and daugthers. So that was tought to take and I've been experiencing some body symptoms. My mom has been a really great support.

Peace to all of you,

Allison

{{{{Allison}}}}
It's hard to see someone who is a good person to leave us so soon. That book called "why does bad things happens to good people" who knows? We just got to look at this as things just happens, and there isn't any explainations!(I need a dictionary). I hope I can understand life before I'm 90, but I guess I'll get that chance when I'm dead, because we'll know all after death, but I don't want to die to know all, I want to know now! That's great that you have your mom
Thanks for that complement of being a cool mom, that's the second time I've heard that in a 24hr. time span My son told me that yesterday, and it made me feel so good inside, but I didn't react like I should towards him, because I'm so used to hearing the negative, I was shock to hear some positive! I have to remember to thank him today when he gets home from school. You take care, and I hope everyone has a good day! Elisa

Hello everyone I just wanted to say I went horseback riding yesterday with me, myself, and I, and had a great time. It was a beautiful day, and nobody wanted to go with me, so I said to myself, "let's have fun, and don't let others stop you", and I'm glad I did, because it was a great day for riding! Take care, Elisa

Hi everyone.

Elisa, thanks so much for your reply about our friend who passed on. It was good to read, and I am feeling a bit better though there's still a bit of a hole there in my chest

That's so excellent that you went horse-back riding. I was just telling my sister the other day how much I wanted to ride. My love for horses came a little late...most little girls LOVE horses but I never did. And now, I do! But anyway, they're still incredibly beautiful.

Take care,
~Allison

Hi Everyone,

I'm not having a great day, I'm very emotional. I'm worring about my 6year old daughter. The teacher told us shes not understanding reading and writing yet. She's been in a special class to help her and she has been improving. She has always been kind of slower than the other kids and may be she just needs a little longer. We'll going to get her a tutor and work with her at home. Its just I feel like such a failure as a mother. I know we have discipline issues with her, she doesn't listen too well to us and misbehaves a lot. I hope this is not why she's not doing well.

My emotions are out of wack lately, I think partly because I'm not on meds anymore and because I'm trying hard to overcome this anxiety. Everything bothers me more. I asked the general forum, now I'll ask you guys. When you release the tight hold on yourself when going thru an anxious episode and you're floating thru it,do you feel very emotional like you're going to burst into tears, thats whats happening to me lately.

Carol

Hi guys. I am doing all right. I had to practice my skills a lot this morning at church and while exercising. I felt kind of spacey, dizzy and out of it a few times at church so I just did my six steps, it felt like, over and over again. But it helped and I was able to float through it just fine in the end. And also while exercising I was feeling the same sensations but after practicing the same stuff I was able to get out of the obsessive mode. That felt good.

Carol, I think you're probably being way too hard on yourself about your parenting. Who is the "perfect" disciplinarian anyway? Are your expectations too high for how you should be able to "get your child to behave"? If you really feel it's an issue then maybe you can get some help with that but my hunch is you're probably just blaming yourself unnecessarily. With my negative thinking I can usually twist any situation into being my fault and it hardly ever really is. I tutor kids as young as your daughter and I don't know her specific issues but we see MANY who are just slightly slower. All they need is love, encouragement, rewards and patience. And especially to feel like they are valued for the gifts that they do have. Knowing how sensitive and compassionate you are, I'm sure you're a great mom...you are most definitely NOT a failure. It's just your anxiety and your old negative programming that's telling you that. Let us know how things go...

About your emotions surfacing, I think that's really valid. You are actually allowed to DEAL with what is going on in your life because anxiety is not distracting your from it as much as it used to. I think this is totally natural, and I'm sure it tapers off the more you get used to not being so distracted by the anxiety. Like, for me, anxiety was so scary and overwhelming that I couldn't even deal with real things. One of my closest adult friends passed on when I was in college and I couldn't even deal with it because anxiety was so overwhelming. When you are finally able to be more aware of what is going on in your life, I'm sure your natural sensitivity kicks in and maybe feels like overdrive because it has been dormant for so long. Does that make sense?

Thanks for the update everyone.

~Allison

Peace of mind,

Im just going to address the reading part with your child. I didnt read thru the whole thread so I hope you all dont mind my jumping in in the middle.

PLEASE let your daughter learn at HER timetable. I get upset when teachers and others are pushing a child to learn something that their little brains just may not be ready for.

My first son struggled with reading in school and since then I have homeschooled him and my other 3 kids. What I learned from experience is that a child will learn it fairly easily but only when they are READY for it. My 2nd child, daughter, learned to read in first grade, I taught her. My 3rd, a boy, we tried teaching him reading in 1st grade but he just was struggling and I was afraid it would become something he hated. So I put the reading books away and just did other stuff with him. We pulled out the phonics in the beginning of 2nd grade and he just flew with it. No problem. Now, my daughter just turned six, so she's a kindergartener, and we are taking it slow but she is making progress. Technically she would be learning all this in 1st grade, next year, but if she can handle some of it now then I am letting her learn it now.

So my point in sharing all this with you is to take it slow, you want her to love reading, not dread it. But if she's made to feel stupid, not up to par, and in school they have a way of doing this without realizing it, then she isnt going to love reading much.

There are phonics programs out there and one book I can think of that my friend really likes is called something like, "Learning to Read in 100 Easy Lessons". I would suggest getting the book and for 10 minutes each evening just do the little lesson with her. Make it a special time for the both of you, light a candle, put on some quiet music then afterward as a treat, pull out the markers and a color book and have a color time, or play a game with her. She will then come to look forward to it. But if she is in a bad mood, then don't push it.

Sometimes when I am doing school with my duaghter I can see her getting ants in her pants so we put the stuff away until tomorrow.

YOu are NOT a bad mom at all. Just do what you feel is best for your daughter. I still have guilty feelings over the stuff my son when thru but at that time I didnt know any other way. But I pulled him out and figured out a different way. I know most people dont have that option and I am blessed that I did. I did also have a number of friends who were homeschooling so I had alot of people to ask help of. My son did go back to school at highschool age and graduated and is now in college. So I guess I didnt do too bad..lol.

Take care and I hope you find a way to make all this a positive for you and your daughter.

Take care,
Reena

Hello Allison, Carol, and welcome Reena

I can't type much now, but I wanted to say to Carol that we all learn at differnt times in life, and at all different levels. I have trouble reading, but I still live happily. Reena had some great advice. Allison great job with using the skills from the program Take care, Elisa