I was staying at the Luxor in Las Vegas. Anyone been there. I keep calling it the effexor. I was so embarassed the other day. I didn't realize I said that until the guy I was talking to kind of blinked.

Anyone ever have the fear of looking at a guys crotch at work? I do. Ha! Then of course, your eyes are drawn to it.

One of my fears has been running a red light and getting smeared by a truck. Now I've started imagining running the light, and in slow motion, hitting a truck full of peanut butter which spills all over the pavement, and then getting hit by a down feather truck. POOF!

Once as a kid, I was in McDonalds, and I noticed these wierd crescent marks on my palms. I didn't know where they came from, and started obsessing that aliens had abducted me, and somehow marked my hands. I figured out later that I had just been clenching my hands too tight, and it was from my fingernails.

Once I was sure that there was one of those video sensors in the bank that could sense temperature changes. I obsessed about farting in the lobby and having someone laugh at the red cloud on their monitor.

Must I say...HOW SILLY!!!

I too am staying at the Effexor ..... I laughed sooooo hard when I read your message. Thanks

Hey!

Somebody thinks I'm funny!!! I was beginning to think I shared too much!

What other places rhyme with antidepressant or antianxiety drugs?

Anyone ever stayed at the Prozac Palace? The Xanex spa and massage center?

How about seroquel sleepy time tea? That stuff really makes the racing thoughts stop...its great! But it made me sleepy during the day!

I'm just talking out my rear now!

Ha!

Seriously, more people need to write on this board! Where are the embarassing stories! I know you have them!

I think laughter is the best medicine there is and telling on yourself and being able to laugh about it is a sign, you are on your way to recovery.
Here's a MOMENT,

My friend had just had her baby and invited me over. I sat on her couch and she started to hand me her LITTLE child. It was like she was moving in slow motion because as she was moving toward me with her baby I had a vision. My vision was as I'm holding her baby, I stood up to grab her bottle, I slip on a banana peel and throw the baby far in the air. (All this is in slow motion)
I practically crap my pants as I see the child in the air and my hands WILL NOT move.
It was so real that I didn't hold her child until it was a month old! I am really good with kids but, this came out of nowhere. I finally told her about my slip on the banana peel story and we both laught a good one!

Ha ha! The red cloud in the bank was a good one. But, no, I never have had a fear of looking at a guy's crotch and getting caught. lol.

When I was working doing taxes recently in a Wal-Mart kiosk I took a break to go to the bath room. I inadvertantly went into the women's restroom instead of the men's. Oops! Sorry!?

When I was a kid I had somewhat an obsession with scaring myself. I liked watching the old scary movies like creature from the black lagoon, wherwolf, frankenstein etc. After watching Christoper Lee as Dracula in 1959 I had an obsession or fear at times after going to bed that a vampire would come into the room and bite me on the neck and drink my blood. eew. So to protect myself I would draw the sheet over my neck and close my eyes. Yeah, right. That will do it everytime. Those vampires can't stand those darn sheets!

Don, you reminded me of another one.

Once I went into the ladies restroom at a restaurant and there was a man facing the wall as I went in. I was shocked. He looked at me, and I did a double take at the door to make sure I was in the right place. I was. He was changing the paper towels in the dispenser. He got a good laugh out of it. However, I had a hard time 'going' because he was still in there laughing.

I have a million of these.

Once I was in a big hurry to get to work, I hadn't dried my hair, and I pulled into the parking lot. Someone was in there car about two spaces down from me when I pulled in. I reached into my gym bag without looking, to grab my hairbrush, and after brushing my hair for a few seconds, noticed that along with the brush, I also was holding on to my underwear for the gym. I never looked to see if they noticed.

When I was a teenager we had a german shepard who loved to go through garbage. Well, one day we had a small group of men doing construction on our house. My dog decided that it was a good day to push the trash can over in the backyard and pick through all the garbage. Well, guess what she decided to litter around the lawn, my used maxi pads. And the men were in the backyard too. Talk about embarassing!!!!

Tricia,

I had a similar thing happen to me, so don't feel like you're the only one.lol
My shiba inu decided to go through the trash before I got up one morning and my boyfriend's business partner was coming over to discuss some jobs. I heard a knock on the door and so I jumped out of bed to answer. I let him in and we stood in the living room for a minute and I noticed that he was looking a certain spot on the floor. So, I tried not to let him notice that I noticed and as my boyfriend came downstairs, they walked into the kitchen. I looked in the direction he had been glancing at and low and behold, there was TWO maxis on my floor. One was beside my light colored recliner and the other was 1 foot away from where we were standing. I could have killed my dog and then died of embarrassment. He stood there that whole time and didn't try to leave the room! Duh

Hey all,

These are all very very good BUT I bet I have you beat

One time I went in to a mens room at the restauraunt and in come a ethnic man with an accent (I think he was polish) about in his early 50's. Just so happen that he had to use the toilet but the toilet did not have a stantion around it. Well he pulled down his drawers and sat on the toilet and when he was seated a friend of mine who had to use the restroom as well come flying through the door. NOW Heh heh, THAT particular door was very old and closed very very very slowly. AND there was people eating at tables outside the restroom that had a very clear view of the toilet in question. So the people , many women had a really GOOD SHOW for at least 40 seconds.
When the door finally closed the man looked over at me and said something to the affect that "Geez, you could see right out there". I told him "This place needs some stantions and he should have thought that before he sat down".
As I left and was outside my friend and I laughed and laughed AND laughed.
Poor fellow!

Oh, and here's another true story (honest)

My Sister in Law and her husband went out to eat at a fairly nice restaraunt. At any rate when they were eating the door to the restroom opened and out come a roll of toilet paper rolling and unraveling itself across the entire dining room area floor as many spectators watched. Apparently the one who was using it pulled to hard or something and it came loose from the holder just as someone was opening the restroom door to enter.

Out it came!

This is my first time chatting on here. I think this humor section is great! I was reading everyone's serious entries and I was starting to feel a little anxious and worried and then I came to this section and laughed my "ass" off. Thank you so much for these stories. One thing I've noticed is that when I'm truly laughing, the anxiety seems to melt away. Thanks!

JimP,

That poor man! Now that IS embarassing. I've been giggling about that on and off since yesterday. I wonder if he had the guts to sit down and eat after that, or if he gunned it out the door. Ha!

Since we are on (the subject of) toilets, I will relate a little story from my youth. Before I met my husband I shared an apartment with a good friend. One summer while we were on vacation our bathroom was to be renovated but a friend who was to water the plants locked the wrong lock,so the workman couldn't get in. When we got back he had to do the work while we were living there. He was a nice man and he came and went and worked around us. At one point the water was turned off so to flush the toilet we had to fill a bucket of water. My friend woke the next morning and was in a rush to use the bathroom so she ran in and did her business. She then went to the kitchen to fill her bucket. As she came out, with her bucket, she met the plumber on his way out with the toilet on his shoulder.

This friend and I had a lot of fun together. At one point we amused ourselves by trying to scare each other, jumping out from behind doors, sneaking up and shouting at each other, etc. (yes we were very mature ).
Well one day I was looking out the livingroom window when I saw my friend coming home. I waited till I heard her open the door then jumped screaming and waving uot into the hall. My scream turned to a scream of real fright as I came face to face with a terrified looking man, who screamed and ran bumping into my friend who screamed in fright. Yes it was the nice plumber who had come back to leave some materials for the next day. We all had a good laugh at how my prank had worked and backfired at the same time. Well I apologised to the plumber and he actually came back to finish the job, although he always knocked after that. Could my anxiety possibly be payback for nearly giving that poor man a heart attack.

Cait

Bwwwaaahhaaaaaaa!

Cait, that WAS funny!

Your toilet story just reminded me of ANOTHER true story (honest to God).

Years ago, I worked in Civil Service for a City and we took care of rented city owned homes on occassion out in the country.
Anyway, from what I was told (I was not there) a call came in from a renter that they had a plugged toilet.
Well the supervisor was actually an ex-Amish man who went over to the house with a couple of others to see what the problem was. The three of them went into the basement and unhooked the main pipe from the toilet to see what was plugged in there. The supervisor was up on a short ladder looking into the pipe with his face trying to see if he could see something.
Unbeknown to him the woman upstairs had to use the toilet and was somewhat unaware of what was taking place down below.
Anyway as he looked in the pipe she flushed and right into his face it went.
I was told he jumped off the ladder and swore in Amish in words unknown to the common man Heh heh

LMBO!! You all are so silly! I love it! Peace and Blessings!