Trip to Wal-Mart
? You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -- mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
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Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

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Depending on your age you might do the following:

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In your 20's:

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Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

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In your 30's:

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Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister of someone you went to school with.

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In your 40's:

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Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

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In your 50's:

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Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms."

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In your 60's:

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Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

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In your 70's:

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Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

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In your 80's:

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Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart loudly and think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.

In your 90's:

Stop what you are doing.


HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

I Looooooooove that one. Been there, did that!
What neat HUMOR to help me rest peacefully tonight. Isn't it neat how our perspective changes with age?

Oh Nelly,
Love it!
Hey, where is that new sports car I'm supposed to have by now???

Love it Nelly...except by your statement I am in my 70s because I never go to Wal-Mart unless I have a prescription to pick up while I am there

Too funny for words but here are a few that linger. I behave like the 30 year old Walmart Shopper but I find myself lost many times in one of our four Walmarts so I reseamble the 80 year old too.

Good one Nell's

There are lists out there of "Funny Things To Do At Wal-Mart" ...good for a laugh. Stuff like, whenever the intercom goes on, go into the fetal position and scream "IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!!!"

Just saw this nelly LOL.
I Have tons of walmart stories to share but i will share them later!!! ITS MY FAVORITE PLACE.
Pooh

Is that where you got that neat pink wig Poohbear? Garsh, I wanna get one too...........................................

that was too funny! hahaha I have share that

Thanks - loved it!

LOL
You ought to try working there. That place is a trip. After 3 months I had to tell the manager to take this job and shove it!