July 01, 2002, 05:35 PM
Hopefull
Warning... polish joke! "letter from mom"
Once again, not trying to offend any polish people...lmao. I'm always so worried someone will take these jokes the wrong way!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Son,
Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this slow because I know you can't read too fast.
You won't know the house when you come home. We've moved. I can't send you the new address, as the last polish family lived here took the numbers with them so they would not have to change their address.
About your father. He has a lovely job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at teh cemetery.
There was a washing machine in this house when we moved in. It's surely not working good. Last week I put in 14 shirts, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out if it is a boy or a girl, so I can't tell you if you are an aunt or an uncle.
Your Aunt Christina gave up the birth control pills when your uncle Joe bought a condominium. Your uncle Dick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey at the brewery. Some of his fellow workers dived in to save him, but he fought them off very bravely. We had the body cremated, and it took 3 days to put the fire out.
Your father did not have much to drink over Christmas. I put caster oil in his beer, and it kept him ging till New Years Day.
I went to the doctor on Thursday, and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and said not to open it for 10min. Your father offered to buy the tube.
It rained only twice last week. First for 3 days, and then for 4 days. Monday the wind was so bad, one of the chickens laid the same egg 4 times.
Remember your friend Tom? Well, he is no longer 'with us'. His father died, and wanted to be buried at sea. Tom drowned digging the grave.
Love,
Mom
Ps... I was going to send some money, but I already sealed the envalope.
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Hope nobody is offended!!!!!!
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~Hopefull~
