Well, I am on the defense now. I've been told to take a breather, to not get defensive and so on. Where did this come from???? I posted my opinion on a certain subject-my opinion was not wanted-I tried to clarify myself-I asked if I was wrong-and now its come to this. At what point did this go haywire. Up until this point, I took no offense to anything that was said. Its a computer and I don't even know any of you but now I am feeling differently.

This not only comes from what has been said here but what was said on the General posting area.

hi val,
i know i may be the last person you want to hear from,but im gonna open my big mouth anyway.i think it was SMears that first brought up the word missunderstanding.i think this is another one.people,by natuer,tend to assume.and assumptions tend to get us in trouble.and in this written word format assumptions get made alot.try not to take it personaly(i know comming from me that must seem a bit redundant)
now im going to make an assumption,you must feel really picked on right now.and i understand why.
i just want you to hear this from me,
YOU WERE NOT WRONG.and you still arnt.
i dont feel that any of us were wrong.i do feel though,that maybe we all assumed to much.
i just want to let you know i care val,and i really appreaciate you.
love and blessings,
lindsey

quote:

people,by natuer,tend to assume.and assumptions tend to get us in trouble

Huntress, this is SO true!

We always think we know where someone is coming from and oftentimes we understand a post to mean something specific, when in fact, the poster didn't mean it the way it came out. It's so difficult at times to make ourselves clear, especially on the computer where "tones" cannot always be heard and words completely understood.
We DO assume things and instead of assuming, we should ask what people mean before we become upset and/or defensive.

I believe for the most part, VAL has been doing this. I believe she's been trying to understand where this all went wrong.

I have had similar situations happen to me, when I posted something to a topic that was so innocent and it offended someone else so bad and I had no idea how I did it. I also asked myself, where did this go wrong? The more I tried to get to the root of it, the more people got upset and the more confused I felt because there were not definate answers.

This is where we can make a choice and grow from our experience!!! This is where we say "do I let this bother me anymore?", "Do I need an answer that makes sense in order to move on", "Can I make the choice to forgive even when I don't understand", etc.etc... We CAN grow from these types of experiences, so they are not always a waste!