Hi everyone.

I needed to vent and felt like venting here.

Though my obsessive scary thoughts have improved greatly since last year, when they do flare up I have been getting depressed lately. I would even venture to guess my depression, produced more often now by The Thoughts, has returned. I find myself getting tired and have brief bouts of lack of interest in things.

I'm angry that my mind produces these scary thoughts. I hate them. They are not me. I do not want to act on any of them. I guess I'm angry at myself for these thought productions. My mind can be so wonderfully creative, but not with these thoughts. I do know want to go thru depression again, but getting depressed over a still-existing negative situation I guess is natural. Overcoming the OCD would overcome the depression. I guess I'm also angry because there really isn't supposed I'm supposed to do, you know what they say, "Just let the thoughts happen. Fighting them only makes them stronger." When the thoughts are overwhelming, I have felt like my mind is being raped.

I also admit feeling angry with God. I realize this too is natural. He is my ultimate Curer and I submit to His will and timetable, but I guess I'm not happy with the timetable aspect. How much longer do I have to endure these dreadful thoughts? (not for anyone to really answer. )

Anyway, thanks for listening.

2Cor.5:17,
I can relate to your feelings of frustration, as I'm sure many others who are on that "road to recovery". With the two steps forward and one step back, sometimes those steps back can really seem to take ahold of our progress. I just really encourage you to know that things will get better. And also encourage you to strive to fill your days with as much positive as possible. Uplifting spiritual music really helps me to feel open and connected to the Lord. Uplifting and inspirational books, tapes, movies, and such. Doing things where you can enjoy nature, like walking or bike riding. Or other things that you enjoy doing like maybe some sort of hobby.
Finding positive uplifting things to fill my days has been a huge key in my overcoming my depression and really gives me the motivation to continue taking another step forward. Hope you may find those things that may help you as well.
And just take extra good care of yourself on those down, unsettling days. The better you take care of youreself, I believe, the sooner they will pass. God bless.

Thank you so much, grateful. I was checking in before heading out for church. I woke up feeling good and your words added to the goodness. Your reply helped and relaxed me.

Last night I went to shoot pool with a good friend. During the first game I was , because I was still feeling what I had before, and also because I was loosing. The next game I was and for the rest of the night. I ended up winning 7 out of 9 games!

Thanks again and God bless.

2cor.5:17....get Joyce Meyer's book, "The battlefield of the mind"

Thief,(love the name),

I have "Battlefield of the Mind." Grrrrreat book!
I have to re-read it. Thanks for reminding me about it.