I have 2 times when I'm most likely to spin into a negative self-talk cycle...any help out there for what I could tell myself that I'll believe.

If I think I've failed at something I will start to say to myself things about "Oh no I've really failed at that" and I don't believe myself when I tell myself that everyone makes mistakes and that it's okay.

I also start into the negative cycle when I hear from my daughter that struggles with anxiety and depression. We've fought together for years and I start to think "I've been a bad mother" "I can't help her" "I don't know if we can ever get over this it's gone on so long"

Thanks for your help!
tessie 1

Hi Tessie. Instead of telling yourself something you just aren't going to believe, you might try asking yourself: What am I talking myself into?

This might help you recognize that you are calling yourself names, and what you are saying to yourself simply is not true.

When you talk to your daughter, remember to listen. And then when you say something to her, say something nice. You cannot fix her. But you can keep working on fixing yourself.

Best to you.

Hi tessie1

I think we all have different positives that we beleive..what works for one may not work for another.

It has to be what you, yourself believes and what you have been telling yourself sounds believable to me. It's the truth, we all don't do everything just right or perfect..there is no perfect anything or anyone in this world. It's through our mistakes that we learn to not repeat those errors but for us with anxiety and depression we keep making the same mistakes and keep filling our minds with lies about most everything in life and we have trained our minds to believe those lies for so long that we do that best..we constantly beat ourselves up emotionally. We have to break the circle by learning the skills taught in the program. This works if we work with it.

So far as you and your daughter I know how upsetting that is. My daughter is riddled with anxiety and depression and it breaks my heart to know this and not be able to help. I don't know what you both butt heads over but I do pray both of you can manage to make ammends and enjoy each other. mLife is so short and time flies by so quickly. I live 3 hours from all my family and not a day passes I don't miss them and wish I were with them.

I really hope that you and your daughter can come together and help each other through this horrible anxiety.

Please work the program, journal everyday, every thought and soon you will start to feel so much better. I promise!!

Be Kind To Yourself...ALWAYS

Thank you for your encouragement! I think this is an area that I will need to work on for the longest but I did find that this week I could get out of the cycle more quickly than before so hopefully I will continue to improve.

I should clarify that I meant that my daughter and I have both fought anxiety together...we actually get along very well. I just get anxious and worried when she calls and says things like "I'm such a loser" "Nobody thinks I can do it" "I want to drop out of school because I don't think I can do it" etc. she often blames people for her own problems and though I know I can't fix her problems I wish so very much that I could. We've been through counselling and have struggled for years. Some of her epileptic medicines cause some of her anxiety and depression also when she is having migraines and seizures her anxiety and depression increase. I feel guilt sometimes also because we've been told her epilepsy and migraines are caused by a type of brain damage that is probably from medicine that I had to take when I was pregnant. I realize now that the medicines I was taking were because of anxiety although I didn't know it then, I just knew I couldn't quit throwing up.

My daughter has come a long ways! She's able to be in college, has friends for the first time, and gets through most of the semester till about half way through before she gets overwhelmed and I start getting phone calls that she's giving up. I've learned to just listen and try not to get anxious with her but I don't always succeed. She seems to vent these problems mostly with me so I've limited how long she can talk that way and then we have to talk about something else or a solution. She does better if I don't let her continue and she has to move on to the next thing.

I'm learning but know this is the hardest one for me. Thank you all!
tessie 1

Sorry for not understanding the first post. We can only do our best and it sounds like you are giving 110 % to your daughter. All we can do is listen and try to make our kids feel loved and special. It's so great that she vents to you. I wish my daughter would open up more to me. My son will talk to me about everything and anything but they are different personalities. My daughter holds everything in and that worries me. maybe she talks to friends about what bothers her..I don't know.

As you learn more skills it will help your dauhter so just keep up the great job your doing and that's all you can do.

I wish you both many happy years in the near future.

God Bless You Both.

Thank you MontysMom! You've been a real encouragement to me!

Thank you to Pecos for you're idea of directing the thoughts to what am I calling myself. It gave me a new direction for fighting the thoughts.

It's such a relief with the medicines to not fight it 24/7 but I'm determined to get to the point when I don't need medicines to keep out of negative spirals.

You're all the best!
Tessie 1