I have now been off my meds for 3 months. I just started having those old familiar anxiety feelings and some depression yesterday. I am under a lot of stress right now. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now with no luck. My parents have just helped us purchase some land so we can get a house put on it. I quit my job because the private school that I was teaching at was going under (I would have lost job anyway--they are closing the doors at the end of this week). Money is super tight. My parents are helping us out financially--feel guilty even though they've already said that they understand and want to help us. My husband has been diagnosed with deginerative knee disease and has been told that he needs to change jobs because his knee won't last at the rate that he is going. He is only 31. He is trying to get into the academy for state troopers so that he can have a sit down in a car type job. If he gets in that will be about 6 months that I will be alone except for some weekends (its like boot camp). If he doesn't get in, he will have to look into other job options. We live in a rural area and the jobs are scarce--jobs that pay and have good benefits anyway. I have not been able to get another teaching job--there are no openings. I am just feeling really overwhelmed by all of this and I guess it is finally taking it's toll on me. It has been super dreary outside for the last two weeks. It has been rainy, cold, and the sun hasn't shone much. I have been substitute teaching some but I haven't been called in these past two yucky weeks so I have stayed cooped up in the house. I have been doing so good off the medicine till now. Well, I had one small attack after seeing a scary and disturbing TV show a few weeks ago but got over it in a few days. I don't want to have to get back on the meds but I will if it gets to be to much to bear. I hope this week will be better since I have sub jobs lined up for every day except on Thurs. I do so much better when I have a schedule of some sort to keep and I know that I am making money. I also think that some of this might be hormonal. I've been off birth control for a year but I just started having a regular period in August and I find myself getting really pissy here lately almost like PMS. I don't know. I know I've really been stressed about not getting pregnant since everybody else I know seems to spit kids out like a baby making factory. We don't have any kids that live with us. I have a step son from husband's previous marriage whom I adore but sadly don't get to see that often. I am just feeling very lonely here lately and wish that I had kid to occupy my time with but then again worry about not being a good mommy and twisting off with horrid anxiety and depression after it is born. I think I am worrying about too much stuff. I just need some friendly advise or a good pep talk from somebody else that has gone thru the getting off of meds. and having these little growth spurts. You know, I don't think we ever get fully recovered since there are always things that will happen in our lives to stress us out and set us back. I read something the other day that said something like this..."Life is 10% of the stuff that happens to you, and 90% of how you take it." I will try to patiently await some words of wisdom from my brothers and sisters of the forum. Yellow Rose
Things may be tight right now with money but you'll get by. My husband and I have been through times like that and we always pulled through. You will too, you will see.
From the sounds of it, you have alot on your mind. Thinking too much about the things you cannot change or worrying too much about the "what-if's" will only bring on your anxiety. So do yourself a favor and start up that positive self-talk. You have the power to talk yourself through ANY situation. Remind yourself that no matter what happens, you'll be fine and things will eventually work themselves out.
I personally believe that recovery means becoming a pro at using your skills to cope with lifes' stressors. Everyone knows there will always be things out of our control that will cause us stress. We need to practice self control by taking better care of ourselves and always TELLING OURSELVES THE TRUTH no matter how negative we feel on the inside. We can become our own best friend.
Just remind yourself that you are "practicing" and it's OK if you feel anxiety and stress. Those symptoms are only distressing not dangerous. You don't need meds to overcome those feelings but thankfully they are there if you need them as a last resort.
The more you go through these "setbacks" the more of a chance you have to become a PRO at overcoming by making your skills a habit.
Stress Center Community 
