I am in the middle of a growth spurt. It started out with some anxiety. The following night I could not sleep just thinking about whether I could handle it the next day,, etc. I started having insomnia. So I decided to work on the program again. I worked out the anxiety. So I thought--now I will start sleeping. Well it didn't happen. I really started to care about the not sleeping part. So the focus of my attention was on not sleeping. Then I finally got myself to accept the not sleeping part and say hey--I've gotta live--I won't let it ruin my day. So then a little bit of anxiety came back. I got past it. I felt really good about myself. Now I am feeling really negative. Its like I am resisting the change. The last time, I got this far in the program--I had to take medication. I don't feel as bad as I did the last time, but I don't know if I can make it without it. Do I keep working at this or do I take some medication to help me? I would really like to do this on my own. Can anyone relate? Right now I'm feeling like--this stuff keeps coming back even after I work at it. Sometimes I feel I am so sick of working on it. I want that quick fix. But then I feel so good when I can conquer it on my own. But its a daily struggle. Anyone have any views on this.

Dear Marija,

You are still afraid of the symptoms. Welcome the discomfort so you can see that you can indeed handle it. You have grown since doing the program. You are not the you you used to be. You want to get to a place where it doesn't matter one way or the other if you experience anxiety. Again, allow the discomfort in. Picture your inner child and hold her on your lap. Soothe her. Let her know it is just a growth spurt and that feeling it is very OK. Infact, feeling your feelings is very good for you. Notice the feelings come and go. Be with them by staying out of your thinking mind. You can stay out of your thinking mind by really giving your full attention to the feeling in your body. Do your best to stay with the feeling until it subsides. When it passes, pat yourself on the back. Hug that little girl in you and tell you: You made it! You did a great job!

Meds are always an option and a choice you can make. No one can make that decision for you. If you think you may be avoiding the feelings instead of dealing with them, see if you can practice welcoming all the feelings in for awhile and being with them without attaching to your thoughts about those feelings. Breathe into the feelings. Focus on your breath and your feelings instead of your thoughts. This takes practice so be very patient. It will come.

Blessings,
Bon

I am in the exact same place right now so I hear you! I started taking my meds again and have tried not to beat myself up about getting back on them. After a week of solid anxiety and racing thoughts, I was exhausted and weak and had to have some relief. I look at it this way, if I have to take meds on and off the rest of my life, then so be it. If I had diabeties, would I not take the insulin and go on a diet? My anti-depressant is my insulin and the program is my diet. Keep your chin up-Lord knows I am trying to keep mine up! Take care.
Yellow Rose

I have a little card stuck on my refrigerator that says "Don't take your low moods too seriously! Hope this helps.
Brenda