quote:

Originally posted by Sparkus:
[qb]Hello,

I wanted to share some personal insights with my anxiety/depression so as to offer some hope and encouragement here. As of this writing, I have been through the program once and am beginning it again. 15 weeks is a long time to invest in something and, to me, it is only the beginning in the context of self-development or improvement for a lifetime. I love the way the program is structured and it is very challenging and sometimes intimidating to people as I have seen. I looked upon this as a journey of the soul and decided that if I was ever going to overcome the despair I once felt that this would be the way to go. All I needed from the beginning was commitment and a passion to no longer live under the self-imposed stress and duress I was feeling. The program helped me get organized and to find that there were better options for me. Is 15 weeks too long or too short to invest in yourself?

I have seen many times in the forums as well as on the chat room people in despair over symptoms they are experiencing. I am learning to live with symptoms of anxiousness and, frankly, I no longer care about them. I do still feel them and in fact I now welcome them because I know how to handle them. These are nothing more than growth spurts and also necessary for me to have in my journey to recovering. As I continue to face and accept these feelings my sensitivity toward them have been diminishing. On the other side of my fear of anxiety and the symptoms is where recovery lies. My advice with the symptoms, no matter how weird they feel or how unique they may seem, is to accept them as normal to the condition and to float with them. Our friend in this battle are the 6 steps in Lesson 2- do you know them by heart?

Health fears seem to be another affliction for people: Fears of having heart trouble, cancer or schizophrenia for example. Bottom line, if you are worried about anything like this go see your doctor! Take a proactive approach to your health and recovery from anxiety and don’t just wallow in your fears about it. Don’t let your anxiety hold you back from seeing someone who is there to help you in the first place.

One point I want to bring up is regarding medications. Many people take meds of all shapes and sizes and if you feel you need one then there is no shame. I went through this program choosing not to take medications and have found that cognitive therapy really works for me. This strategy may not work for everyone but I’m here to say that it is possible. It is never a weak thing to ask for help if you need it.

Some people are so afraid of what others might think of them if they went out someplace and had an anxiety attack. This was my number one fear that limited me from stepping out and going to the very places I had enjoyed formerly. Nobody is sitting there judging you more than you are. I would venture to guess that nobody notices anything. Even if you had a spell what's the worst that could happen? End up in the ER just to find out it's only anxiety, calm down then go back about your business. Big deal! Then what?

Procrastination is your enemy in this journey. One thing I think fuels this is the fear of change and of failure. What would my life be like on the other side of anxiety? Can I handle it or will I fail and suffer the ultimate panic attack? Just more negative thoughts I had that was the result of my condition. Of course change is tough and it is our resistance to doing the work to change that causes us more suffering than anything. There is no ultimate panic attack waiting to bite me- it has gotten as bad as it’s going to get. Indeed, what would my life be like without my self-imposed limits? Can I just trust myself that I already have everything within me to live my life? What is the worst thing that would happen if I did not allow myself to dwell on a future event? How can I reinterpret the feelings I have? Maybe this is really excitement and not anxiety? The choice is to continue to believe my own lies to myself or to step out and risk actually having internal freedom and peace.

The biggest revelation for me has been the realization that no magical genie is going to pop out of a lamp and grant me freedom from anxiety: If it is to be it is up to me because I got myself into this mess in the first place. The responsibility is mine and always has been. Nobody can think my thoughts for me nor would I want them to. Hey, we all make mistakes and this is how we learn and grow. Nobody promised it would be easy and so what if it isn’t? Living with freedom and personal power is a worthy cause and worth the battle.

I called this "Winning the Battle" but I think it's important to realize what I am fighting with here: Myself. It takes time to overcome our negative thought patterns, to increase self-esteem and self-confidence. Life is too short to avoid living it and experiencing what it has to offer. Learning to get out of my own way is the natural outgrowth of years of negative programming- this was inevitable for me and, as I see it now, a gift. So I accept my anxiety as an opportunity now- my path.

My wish for anyone reading this mini-book of mine here is that you will push through your difficulties and find freedom on the other side as I am doing. It’s a long road but any journey begins with but a single step. There is no easy way out but I promise that facing the fire with the right tools will strengthen you and help you enter a constructive cycle in your life. Believe me, if I am conquering this challenge then I believe anyone else can too. It is just anxiety![/qb]