I just hit 2 growth spurts in one day. I am on week 15 of the program and am having problems with opening up to people. I recently went to a comedy club with someone tonight and Im having Ive been getting to the point of not caring about personal hygene that much, I feel like having to adopt so many new rules and attitudes..I feel like I'm living under a pressure cooker. Tonight that person commented on how my jacket was torn and it smelled (yes I admit that). And I totally took it personally....I admit that I have an unreasonable (although it doesnt feel unreasonable) belief that being clean is in part...being a perfectionist...I dont know why...I guess I feel being clean means people will notice you...which means attention is brought to you. And I don't like attention.
I totally ruined MY OWN night..only with a few laughs here and there...I totally sulked and acted immature obsessing and getting bent out of shape about the comment.

I try to give myself positive self talk by saying "this is just another growth spurt, you
got through it, yes you made a mistake but you learned something from it...not to take things so
personally" but its SO hard when those events come up unexpectedly...i feel I dont have enough time to kick my skills in I'm just trying to have a positive attitude about all this even though the night didn't go very well any comments welcome...I promise I won't take anything personally LOL

Hi:
First of all, having good hygiene is not a "perfectionistic" thing (unless someone takes it to the extreme where they are continuously washing their hands, etc. ). It is important that you take care of yourself for your own health (and the health of others). And if you take care of yourself you will also feel better about yourself too. I think what you said about how being clean draws attention to you, is actually backwards. If you aren't taking care of yourself that brings attention to you. People notice others who smell or are wearing dirty clothes. Isn't that what took place tonight? Instead of focusing on what you two were doing, your friend's attention was drawn to you because of your lack of hygiene. See what I mean?
Also, I think it is really sad that you don't think you need to take care of yourself. Value yourself and take care of yourself!! I don't like attention either, but I still take care of myself. You need to take care of yourself and if youdon't want attention then you can refrain from wearing flashy or revealing clothes . Remember that most people are not focused on you. They are busy doing their own thing and probably don't really care what you are doing. But you can draw attention to yourself by the clothes you wear, lack of hygiene, etc.
Instead of getting upset by the comment, you need to take what was said to you and determine if there is any truth in what your friend was saying. If there was truth to it, then see what you can learn from what your friend said (like learning that personal hygiene is important, etc.). If there is no truth to it (which it sounds like you are saying this is not the case) then disregard it as just a negative comment on his/her part.
Use what happened tonight as a learning experience . What happened tonight is now in the past and it can't be changed. Learn from tonight so you can improve future situations.

ChangingTimes07 ,

Well just to be simple: What happened yesterday is in the past. The present moment is where you want to be. No matter how much you beat yourself up you can't change yesterday but you can move on..What you went through is a learning experience.- simply that..Don't give it any more power..Take care ...