I guess this is my biggest enemy, or obsessive thought, in my battle against my anxiety. I had another restless night yesterday and I was wondering how many "growth spurts" people usually have before they really feel recovered.

I have been doing tremendously otherwise, but I feel that my sleep is a sticking point with my thoughts of recovery.

I do much better at talking with myself and distracting, but when the heart gets to pumping and the cold sweats break out, I am still filled with a feeling of dread. Hmmm.

Well, I still hope everyone else is doing well on their own roads to recovery!

-Eric

Hi!
I can still have some problems sleeping, I wake up at 4am and can't fall asleap again.
One thing I do is listen to a relaxing tape right before I go to sleap. I breath and listen and that helps.
Try it!
//Erika

Eric - I have come to the conclusion that recovery is acceptance of what is. Some may never experience problems again while others must come to realize that they've come into the world with this to deal with. Regardless of this, it's making it OK that is most important. Healing comes from this attitude. It's not about elimination. It's about learning to live with. If it leaves me - Great! If it doesn't, I can learn to deal with it.

One thing to remember is that you can never go back to being the way you were. Never. You know too much to go back. You've learned things now that work and that you can use anytime. You can only go forward.

Life presents us with surprises. Now we have the tools to deal with them.

Now it's dealing with certain things that haven't gone away,yet. Keep all the doors open. Have you asked your doctor if you can try Atenolol? It's a beta blocker and is wonderful. You won't wake with a pounding heart anymore.

You are doing great so don't judge this part of your growth. It's just one more thing to learn from, and it certainly isn't uncommon.

Help comes in many forms.

Thanks for the responses.

I have been doing the relaxation cd at least once a day since the beginning of the program, but thanks for the input.

Boon, I appreciate your advice and wonderful way of putting things into perspective. I do think that there is a part of me that thinks that this condition 1)does not make sense and 2)what did I do to deserve it?

Well, those questions are futile to try and solve, because as we all know...life isn't fair. I am doing the best that I can now to deal with this anxiety, but the anxiety that I do have now is so much more under control than it used to be.

My recovery may never be something that I just forget about someday. I think that there are too many good things that I have learned about myself, my family and even strangers that I never would have in my old life.

Challenges are always going to be there, and I now look at them as opportunities to push myself to new heights...I even have signed up for my first marathon...The Chicago Marathon in October. Am I ready? Will I fail? Will I sleep at all the night before the race? Well, I can answer all of those questions soon.

Pushing on,
Eric

kyeric: I am in the middle of a "growth spurt" of my own (I finished the program 6 months ago), and I decided that part of my action plan would be to try to help other people with the areas I thought I was doing well in. You'll see from my screen name that insomnia was a MAJOR problem for me. My husband once rightly observed that sleeplessness was one of the few things that gave me a panic attack! I understand that it can impact your whole day and make anxiety that much more difficult to deal with. Can you try to "under-react" to a restless night with soothing thoughts? "Of course I am having trouble sleeping...I am excited to be running a marathon tomorrow!" My problem is never falling asleep, it's staying asleep. So when I wake up at night, I observe to myself "so what", then I make a mental list of all the good things that happened that day or all the things in my life I am grateful for. If I am still awake, I re-live my day in reverse. Good luck,
formerly sleeplessMom

Thanks sleeplessMom,

I understand that the big difference in having a serious panic attack over not sleeping at all versus having slight difficulties sleeping from time to time is all in my own perception.

I sleep every night, but those nights I feel the anxiety coming on, it is a struggle to stay calm (i.e. BAD HABIT). I calm myself with the relaxation CD, and comforting self-talk. It has helped tremendously! And, you are right...we all need to realize that excitement mimics anxiety (or vice versa) and it is again how we look at the symptoms and how we talk to ourselves to calm down or panic!

I choose peace and quiet!

Eric

Hi Kyeric;
Just wanted to say congrats on finishing the program! Focus on all the good it has done and will continue to do