I am on Lesson 13, and I feel I've had a setback, which is depressing because I should almost be done with the program.

I recently went off of my antidepressant (I'd been on it for a year). I did okay for a few days, but then I started having small panic attacks, which I hadn't had in months. I also started having signs of agoraphobia after only a few days at home. So I have gone back on my antidepressant. I'm really trying not to see this as a failure, but it was really important to me to not use the meds, so it's hard not to see it that way. I have found my old habits (negative talk and worrying) creeping back in. I thought I was doing so much better, but now I'm not sure.
This has just really shaken my confidence and I needed to vent.

Thanks,
AnnieG

Hi AnnieG-Hang in there! I am going to share my story with you. I was on Paxil for a year and I went off it only to go back on it and I had to wean off it very slowly as I had withdrawal- now not everyone gets withdrawal-my Doctor told me only about 10 to 20% do. Currently I am over 1 year med free and my anxiety returned to a lesser degree and I felt like I was going in circles once again until I had my light bulb moment that Paxil was only a bandaid for me and I just got to keep practicing my skills so of course I am going to have anxiety-the breathing and refocus and distraction really works and the more we go threw these anxious episodes and realize it is not going to hurt eventually it is going to go away.I was back in the mode of scary thoughts and obssesing, hyochondrias and body symptoms to boot and I kept thinking what am I doing wrong so I journalled and journalled and finally it all clicked after an anxious period which I had done my breathing.In order to heal we have to experience the anxiety and be able to use our skills. There is no time limit on this stuff-my journey began almost 4 years ago but this has been my first year med free. From my many anxious episodes I am learning more about me like my analytical side and over reacting. Once you gain all the knowledge the program has to offer we may regress but we never go back to where we once were because sooner or later the skills kick in and the big difference with the anxious episodes I was having was at least I knew what it was whereas before I just could not figure out what was wrong.Everyone,s path to recovery is unique to themselves so stay determined and believe in yourself. Timber

AnnieG.
You dont want to live like this anymore hang in there and keep fighting. I have fazes of Agorifobia. When you anticipate going somewhere or when you get to your destination. Do you feel people know you are acting different then start talking about you. Thats what sets me OFF then I get MAD and say to myself. You cant control the world or the people around you. WHO CARES even if they are talking about you. Once I start thining like this the anxiety goes away. I dont care what the people may have said. Im MAD at myself for letting myself feel that way.

Try thinking like that it works for me. GOOD LUCK !!!!!!!!

I HAVE ALOT OF SETBACKS WHICH I FIND DICOURAGING. ITS FUNNY THOUGH WHEN I'M NOT ANXIOUS THE DISORDER IS THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND AS IF I DON'T EVEN HAVE IT. I CARRY A .25 MG OF KLONOPIN WITH ME AT ALL TIMES JUST IN CASE..... THEN I GET ANGRY WITH MYSELF IF I DO NEED IT. I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO FACE THE FEAR BUT WHEN IT COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND I'M AT WORK THE WHAT IFS BEGIN AND I DON'T WANT MY CO WORKERS TO SEE ME SHAKING. WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM ANYONE WITH SUGGESTIONS

Dear Jena,

I suggest carrying a little spiral notebook around with you and practice countering irrational thoughts with rational ones on paper even when your not anxious. This is called "cognitive calestenics"..You'll be prepared when your obscure irrational thoughts creep up, you'll counter them with rational responses....Your brain will catch up..practice, excercise, no caffiene, relaxation tape....write, write, write...