Im really in the need to let this all out.

Im so sick and tired of this. Sick of feeling this way, sick of being down, sick of not being able to do everything I want to do.

The past fewweeks have been extremely challenging. Anxiety has reached an all time high(for the past few months) and I want to just curl up in a ball and GIVE UP. Why is beating this SO HARD? Well most days its so hard but some days are like wow..that was great.

My obssesive thinking keeps coming back.(That what if I have a panic attack and im alone and it kills me, even though I KNOW its not true) I talk to my theapist about it and all I get is the same answers. I just feel so HELPLESS today.

I know this is just going to be a setback..but why. Why now after life was getting to be SO GOOD??

Any other program vets..,.feel this way at times'?? Please tell me im not alone!?

My fiance calls this side of me ANN(for anxiety) He says whenver I get down and beat myself up its ann talking. Its weird but true its like a little monster gets in ur head and just doesnt stop!!

Feedback please??
Thanks

Hi,

I am only on week three of the program. But for the past 4 years I have suffered really bad with anxiety and depression due to medical conditions. I know how you feel, just when you think, it's getting better, I am doing well and then the bottom drops out again. I don't know why this happens, but it makes you lose hope, I know. But just remember, it will get better again. God as a reason that we are going through this, we don't know why, but he has a plan.

DMP720-
I am soooo feeling the same way! The last month I have been really feeling bad-anxiety is a mess! I feel sick to my stomach, not eating like I want to, not enjoying activities, not feeling like going out, crying etc. I really want to feel better. I fear fainting while driving or fainting in a store etc so I don't want to go anywhere when I feel like this, and plus my legs feel a little weak and I don't feel so strong in my body. I go to my therapist and hear the same things over and over again: "nothing is wrong, stop thinking like that, push yourself to go out". No one seems to know how I really feel. I want to feel better, but I can say that this morning has been better than other mornings that I have had recently! I am tired of worry about my health etc, only to find out that I am completely healthy.
Just wanted to write and vent to someone! Thanks for reading.
-ME

Booksofpsalms

Its good to vent..thats what this thread is about..lets all just vent..it feels good..and it is good for you.

But also...when we vent we need to try to be positive also...so lets positively vent :-)
Winter stinks...I think thats another reason why I feel terrible

I find my self saying this time and time again. And from what I keep reading, everyone else is in the same place we are. I ordered the program Sunday evening and am waiting for it to arrive. I'm such a skeptic about things and if this will really work but at this point I'm willing to give anything a shot. I've literally not left my house since last Tuesday, with the exception to be taken to my dr appt by my husband. We can't let this beat us. I won't let it beat me. I went to Barnes and Nobles online and ordered a few books about anxiety and depression. I got Dr. Weekes book about nerves and calming them, found it a little hard to get into. I did how stumble upon a book by Robert Handley called Anxiety & Panic Attacks: Their Cause and Cure. Its so easy to read and gives some good advice, so I have something to help until the program gets here. As I've said in my previous posts, I'm just glad to be learning that I am not alone in this battle. And this support system is amazing. Good Luck to everyone, we can all do this together!

Christine, it won't beat you!
If you have the determination and will power to over come this you will!
I didn't leave my house for a year and atfer just doing the relaxation session for the first time I left my house! I actually walked out onto my deck and saw that my husband was across the alley at our neighbour's garage. I used the relaxation tools and just started walking, having to stop every few steps until suddenly I was there!
After week 4 I looked at my husband and asked him if we could go for a drive. He drove and I just told him where to turn and we ended up at my parents' house.
Trust me, the program works! Watch the introduction video and just go from there. Take it one day at a time and don't have high expectations. Don't do the typical "I should be doing this..." or "Why am I not better yet?" It will happen for you, it just takes time!

I understand where you are coming from. Winter is the worst for me because I am "locked" up inside a house or at work. I don't want to be like this anymore. It really gets me down and I have episodes where I cannot do anything for myself at all. But I know that I can do it if I just put my mind to it and not let the little demons inside and push me around. DMP720, I totally understand about the little demons that get you down. I just pray about it and talk with my therapist more and this forum and chat rooms really help alot. Without this program, I dont know where I would be. It's somehow calming to know that there are other sufferers out there and that we can do it together.

Take care of ourselves first, then we can take care of others. God is on our side.

The problem is not winter. The problem is not that you have OCD. The problem is not that you have anxiety disorder. The only problem you have is resistance to what you are experiencing. You are trying to "get rid" of how you feel. You avoid things, places, etc. which is another form of resistance.

Stop trying to control how you feel and practice allowing the thoughts, feelings, memories and sensations to be there. That's where your peace will be - in the accepting and allowing.

It's interesting Boon answered and with the quote that he did. . .from Dr Liebgold. Because, I was going to recommend his program or at least his book to you. He talks about a "boo voice" that is inside your head that everyone has. . . and the sooner you learn to blow off that voice, the more calm you will be. Boon has it 100% right. . .trying to "get rid" of how you feel just makes you more focused on it. It's such an irony but it's true.

The less you think about how you're feeling, what you're thinking, what will happen, the more free you will feel. I have found I just let those thoughts be but do things anyway and slowly the grip is getting lighter on me. It's a good feeling.

Again, I agree with Boon. Let the thoughts and feelings flow in and than flow out. Don't resist them.. After awhile, it loses it's affect and has no choice but disappear. When you get a chance, pull up all of Boons past posts. Read them, ponder them.. Very educated, soothing advice!!!

Robin

Hey everyone

Thank you all for your support.
I gues its just tough being recovered and having a growth spurt.
It just felt like I was let down by myself.
Boon I do have to agree with you...it was kinda ahit in the head but thats what I needed..a hit to get out of my own head.

FaithTX..you are always very supportive..I know you and I have been on this journey almost pretty much the same speed..so hearing from you was very nice.

I am not going to let this control me anymore...I cant..Im getting married soon and I need to FOCUS on that..and how exciting this will be.

__Dena__

Dena, You have not let yourself down and you need to really realize this. (Negative self talk)

Make it OK to never be completely over anxiety and obsessive thinking. You will always be tested by that "scare voice" or "Boo voice" as Dr. L lovingly calls it. The key is - you do not have to respond to it. Not now. Not ever. Let go of trying to get rid of this condition and instead practice allowing thoughts, sensations, emotions, memories, etc. Be at peace with this.

Remember to soothe and comfort yourself - always. Talk to yourself like you would a small child with the same concerns.

Make a list of the wonderful things about yourself. Add a new one to this list everyday.

Congratulations!

quote:

Originally posted by DMP720:
FaithTX..you are always very supportive..I know you and I have been on this journey almost pretty much the same speed..so hearing from you was very nice.

__Dena__

Thanks. . .yeah, I think I've been taking the slow boat ride journey. But that's OK. . . I'm just so stubborn and set in my ways sometimes it takes me longer.

I've been feeling so much better the last few months. It's really amazing. Some of it for me has been going on birth control to regulate my hormones, but a lot of it was a shift in attitude based on some tough love of a few people. I finally had to decide that I wasn't going to let myself believe the negative thoughts any more. . .and that I'm going to look for the blessings in my life instead of for the bad.

A few days ago I was talking to my husband about our daughter and I said that I was worried she's so much like me she's going to struggle with some things that I do. He said the SWEETEST thing. He said he thinks it's good she's like me, because he said that some of the qualities I am always fighting against are what make me good at my job and a successful person. . . It was nice to hear he doesn't think of me as "broken" like I sometimes let myself do. Lately I'm just trying to get out of my own way and just enjoy life again. It feels so good.

I still definitely have my moments, but when I do, I tell myself that it's temporary, and it doesn't hold me as long as it used to. The telling myself that I'll feel like this "forever" is what got me so down last year. Nothing is forever, good or bad.

DMP, I ditto what MollySK says.
The title you gave this is 'Sick of It'. Since you are sick of it, be so darned determined you want to learn everything about anxiety and 'get rid if it'. Once you make up your mind to do that , you will arrive at a new peak. Stay in the program EVERY DAY! read and reread the workbook. Dont stop the program when you feel better, go through it and when finished, go back through it.
I was homebound and having really bad panic attacks plus OCD, now I go out everyday and go where I want to go, I dont have panic attacks anymore and teh OCD is almost a thing of the past. I am about 88% of the way to the goal!
You can do this!
SOoooo many people enter into the program thinking it wont work for them, that somehow they are unique and nothing will work, I say NONSENSE! IT DOES WORK!!
You can do it girl, I see it in your eyes!!
PM me if you want to talk more because I rerely check back on these postings!

Rod

Boon, you are good, girl! I love your advice and suggestions!