Hello

well here goes nothing. I have had a lot of stress in my life. First off I have had two miscarriages, I have gotten myself in trouble with some friends in town because I stuck up for myself and then they made me feel so guilty it was horrible. Finally, my husband has been working so much that he doesnt have time for me lately. AAAAAHHHH am I ever frustrated. I cant stand growth spurts. I have scary thoughts lately, spacey feelings and some depression. I have beat this before and I will beat it again.
My scary thoughts are, I am afraid I wont be able to speak. I know that that wont happen, I know people like to hear what I have to say but right now that is one of the many thoughts. I am afraid I am going to die. I have always said that I will live until I am 92 years old. So I know I am not going to die. I have a fear of losing my mind. That cant happen because I am to smart and caring to have that happen. I am afraid I will forget who I am, what i am going to do and where I live. Help me please I have listened to the tapes again and again. I just want it to stop.

Any suggestions

Albertagirl

Hey Albertagirl,

I am feeling for you. I am stuck there too and it has been since last year. Probably the longest growth spurt on record. Remind yourself to float with these feelings, accept that you feel anxious and it is okay and really do the positive dialogue w/relaxation tape.

Silvana

Thanks guys I really appreciate everyones input. It is very helpful.

I saw my therapist today and we had a good chat. I was very scared because I could visuallize so well. I mean I could visuallize everything. Conversations that might happen and I could see the stop sign that was used to stop my negative thoughts and pages in books I had read. He told me not to worry about that I have a photographic memory and it was scaring me into thinking I was going crazy. We are starting next session to learn about having such a visual mind and how to use it as a positive.

Thank you again for all your input.

Albertagirl

Hi Albertagirl,
Just wondering where you are from exactly. I am from Alberta also.
Take Care

My husband has always worked long hours, which can be hard if you have panic. I remember days waiting for him to come home. I would just emotionally relax once he was there. He was my safety net...so I thought.

One thing that has helped me over the past few years is to become mentally independent.

I pretend that I live alone and am totally responsable for everything. Then I ask myself how would I handle this situation.

Any anger or resentment I had while waiting for my husband to come home and rescue me has gone away because I no longer beleive I need him to survive.

Then when my husband comes home it is a happy and relaxed time instead of an intense feeling of relief that I am not alone. Much more enjoyable and we have much more fun together.

------------------
Don't take anything personally.
Always be impecable with your word.
Don't assume anything.
Always do your best!

Hey Guys

Thanks for the wonderful comments they sure do help me alot in my days of growing.

Leo I am from southern alberta a little town called Lomond

Take care all I will write more later Right now I have company

Albertagirl

Hey Albertagirl,
I haven't been on the forum much lately because the program just works so well I have really gotten back on track until my own growth spirt started in February. I felt I really wanted to respond to your topic when I read you had two miscarriages. I too had a miscarriage before I finally was able to have three kids. It is really hard to go through and I know because I have been there. I really thought I would never be able to have children. I now have three so all I did was stress myself out and beat myself up for my loss. My husband works alot too two jobs and it can be very lonely. I don't work I stay home with the kids and often feel very badly about that and the fact that I never went to college. Be patient with yourself a miscarriage is very very very stressful. I couldn't stop crying when I had mine. Maybe the best thing you could do is find something to keep yourself busy so you don't dwell on the miscarriges and get lonely when your husband is working. We have to remember life is stressful! Everyone's life is stressful! That is part of living!! We are going to have setbacks and get depressed that is normal! We have to learn to use our skills and be gentle with ourselves during these times. Email me anytime I'll be happy to talk to you when you are lonely!!!

Mary

[This message has been edited by jmjvsjones (edited 03-09-2002).]