I went through the program almosy 7-8 years ago of which at that time I was housebound. The program helped me so much no one would even know I was living in my house and not functioning as Iam today. I recently decided to face a fear and fly on a plane alone so go see a friend qute some distance away. As soon as I made the flight I started feeling nervous but maintained. 2 weeks ago I was fine and this week, full fledged anxiety all over again like nothing I have experienced sicne I originally did the program. Im so scared losing my job, feeling so awful. Im attempting celexa because I feel I need to interrupt the cycle quickly but having a hard time tolerting it. Of all things I can think of I enevr would have wanted to go down this road like this again... feeling so bad. Im starting the tapes again but still have plans to fly in one month. I hope I can do this. I want to face the fear but Im feeling like Im losing it. Any words? thanks for listening.
Bear

Bear,
You made it through this before so you know you can do it. Just hang in there and know that your going to be just fine. Start doing the program again if you still have it. Good luck to you, let us know how your doing,
Cathy

I think that it is normal to feel afraid of flying if you have not yet conquered this fear. You recovered after doing the course because you conquered fears in your every day life. Flying in airplanes wasn't one of them. Just take it easy and float with it. Remind yourself how far you've come so far. This is just a minor set back. Work on your coping skills while you are on the plane. You will be fine because you are a strong person and can control your thoughts.

Bear,

Your message is a few days old, but thought I would respond anyway. I have gone through many cycles where I felt better, thought I was cured, and then had an episode or something else threw me into that mode where I felt like I was back in the same old crap. One of the things I have been working on is realizing that my life and my identity is a lot bigger than my anxiety. This is one of the things about anxiety that is so frustrating and difficult because my mind is so intent on isolating the problem, and no matter what else happens in my life, it doesn't matter. If I'm anxious or feeling weird or whatever, I just don't care about anything else until I feel better. But the truth is that anxiety is only a very small part of who I am, and not even close to the most important part. I'm sure this is the same for you. And learning to live and take risks, no matter what comes up, is what living is all about. Look at the big picture - you are living a way better life than you had before, and although you may go through periods where you feel horrible, you will survive and continue to grow. For many of us, we are perfectionistic and anxiety is not acceptable and we hate it. But as you know through the program, the only way is to let go and experience what is there. I know this is hard, but it is worth it.

I know this may sound like a pep talk, but in my experience it is the truth. Enjoy!!!!

Bear,

As I learned several years ago there is no such thing as a relapse...Just "growth spurts". I went through a significant growth spurt several years ago. I initially called it a relapse however, after regaining my strength and momentum I relaized that we must continue to do the things we initially did to stay well. Journaling, occaisional thought replacement, going to a therapist/counselor for a "check up from the neck up", ect... I realize that I will have moments of anxiety...We all will...we are human...Thus I must use my coping skills to maintain healthy emotional health....I recommend doing the program over. You will succeed; find a good therapist to strengthen your support system.. Remember in the end we are only talking about anxiety.God Bless...........

Bear, I've never posted to this site before, but your message transfixed me because I, too, am dealing with "full fledged anxiety all over again like nothing I have experienced since I originally did the program". I never thought it was possible to have those thoughts and feelings resurface after 5 years. I thought I was cured for life; I certainly want to be. My fear is the fear of my anxiety. I secretly wonder if thinking and talking about my anxiety will make it come back. In way, I have let my set the stage for that to play out. I'm not sure of what to do now, but I'll probably order another workbook and try to replay some of the tapes. I just hope it doesn't remind me of how I used to feel/think. The funny thing is, in my heart of hearts, I know it's not real; it doesn't make me and it can't break me again.
SweetPeace to you...

i too was recovered for 8 years and am now seeming to have to re-experience agoraphobia and anxiety all over agian for the last 3 or so months.. i am trying to learn to not listen in to the scary thougths and to take back a lot of power I have given to other people over the last 5 years. it seems I have stopped trusting myself a lot in the last 3 or so years. I did this because i let other people tell me what to do when I had NO REASON tTO.Today I am working on stopping that. My therapist is telling me that my painc attack will stop in direct proportion to the amount of my power that i take back. I am tending to believe him. while I have tried every trick of the program in the last 3 months..and I know this program works...I still seem to need to relearn to trust my own thoughts and instincts, which is odd since I am an intelligent and highly educated woman. This all started as a result of a lot of stress and 2 deaths in my family that caused me to change some patterns and take a look at my life. Now I realize that I need to be responsible for standing up for myselF and believing in myself. this may take a little time, but I know that I can and will do it. and everyday i am trying to re-expand y world and take back what panic and agoraphobia try to take. That too takes some time..but it is doable..and I keep doing one day at a time.

ust relax and keep doing.
God bless

This topic couldn't come at a better time for me. I went through the program about 6 years ago, and I am recently feeling some growth spurts come on. I know the program inside and out, however, it is amazing how quickly we can forget the skills to overcome stuck points. I realized this with my new job. I sell new home construction and there is a ton of training involved. Not only did I go through 10 months of training, but on top of that we have weekly reviews. The reason is because, after only a short time selling, we forget to use half of the skills we were taught. So we can forget things pretty quickly, and need to review often. It's a process that I'm learning to be patient with. I am having issues with this job because it is a commission only position, and eventhough I've done very well this year, I am still having a heck of a time not being on edge. In fact, I have this whole slight hyperventilation thing goin' on that I never had before. I support myself and I guess it's just so uncertain with the commission thing. But I'm working on staying positive and I'm trying not to scare myself Thanks for all of your posts, they really are inspirational. I especially liked Jim's comments about anxiety. It feels so self consuming at times, that I have guilt about it, but overall, it's not who we really are inside. We are so much more than that! It's a simple, yet profound realization. Thanks Jim!

I just wanted to ask for some advice or feedback. I am struggling with the decision to leave my job because I feel stressed out with the responsibility of it, eventhough I am successful at it. I don't know if I'm just too far out of my comfort zone, or if I don't like it that much, or if I'm letting my anxiety and fear make this decision. How sad that I can't trust my own instincts? Anyway, has anyone ever wrestled with what decisions they should make, because they don't know their true feelings about it? I would rather be doing something else, but my fear is, I'll get into a new job, and I'll suffer just as much anxiety there as I am here...It's probably not this big a deal, but I would like to know your opinion.
Thank you.

Amber lee - Everyone get's that way about there job from time to time especially us with anxiety becuase we analyze everything! Is there any way you can take a vacation and seek other options?? Maybe that would help you.

Thank god for you people. I am having a growth spurt of my own. Everytime I do this I read back in my journals I question my sanity. I feel like I am losing my mind and then I have scared myself so bad that I went into a complete panick attack. Why do I do this to myself.I love my self, my son, my husband , my life I only have negative thoughts about my sanity. AAAGH!!! I looked back and realized that I did it back then and now I am doing it again. For no reason what so ever. What is happening to me??
Huntersmom

Huntersmom,
Its called a "growth spurt", they dont last long , Thank God!! Honestly its not a relapse. You have grown to much for a relapse. Growth spurts to me are a reminder that, i have to continue working on the skills, ive learned from the program. Becuase any small thing that happens, all of a sudden becomes HUGE to someone who has anxiety. And yes, it does sneek up on you when you least excpect it. So keep practicing your skills and the tools of the program. Your NOT a failure, and your NOT insane, just bit of growth!! Take care, Nelly

Hello all,
You are not alone,
I am experiencing a growth spurt of my own.
I think it was brought on by my Dad passing away about a yr and a half ago. i have not totally dealt with it, so now i need to with a counsellor's help. THANK you somuch to all that posted on this one, as it has normalized whati am going through.. thanks again.. i will open up my program again.

Hi everyone I wanted to know what is the difference between relapse and a growth spurt? I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately after doing so well for the past 4 yrs. I've been trying to use the skills I have learned but it doesn't seem to be helping much

cb
the difference between a relapse and a growth spurt is the way you view it. Is this a time of defeat or growth? It really is your choice. We can view our changes as making us stronger or making us weaker. The program teaches us to see ourselves as stronger than any problem we might face. It's true. We can and do get through the changes life brings us.

Tammy