I have really gone throught the range of emotions these last couple weeks. Lots of adrenaline in my system during that time. Last Thursday and Friday I felt confident & normal again. Then Friday night, after helping my friend move for 6 hours, I started feeling anxious again. We had freinds over later for dinner and I felt floaty. The feelings come in waves. I fight them off with positive talk and then feel great but the feelings come back later in day.

As you can guess, I'm in a big rush to get back to "normal". I know I got over this before and was very confident but I'm mad that it's back. I keep telling myself it's only feelings -- and then I want them to just disappear. My know my expectations of instant change in attitude aren't helping.

I like everyone's insights in here.

I am also in the middle of a growth spurt. I know exactly how you feel. I too feel mad at myself for coming to this spot again. Its like I keep telling myself to think about the anxiety positively but there's always some negative thought that keeps stopping me from getting past it. I decided to go back on medication. I am slowly trying to be patient with myself. I am also learning to accept myself and love myself the way that I am. It is difficult, believe me. It is so hard to let go of these anxious feelings. Its like I don't know what to replace them with. I also have little self-confidence that I can do it since, I have had to go back on the medication. But I have gotten past it before and I will do it again. I think that when I went through this so many years ago, I did it without medication. I worked hard, but for some reason, I was able to do it. I guess I expected that I would not have to work that hard again. But I guess its true what they say--no pain--no gain!

Dear Socal and Marija,

It may be more gentle on yourselves to accept the fact that you have panic attack disorder. Truly accept it. And that it may flare up from time to time. At the same time be grateful that it isn't the way it used to be for you. You've come such a long way and can never go back to the way you were. The tools will always work for you. With true acceptance you'll continue to experience anxiety less and less with the great possiblity of panic not returning at all. Each time it occurs be soothing and loving to yourself. You know what to do - even if it is in the form of meds temporarily. The more you accept and honor yourself as you are, the sooner your recovery.

Blessings,
Bon

Bon,

Thanks for the advise. Acceptance is helpful -- it just takes me awhile to get there.

Hi guys! i can soooooo relate to what you are all saying. i started my growth spurt just before christmas and i am really struggling. i am on the 3rd week of the midwest program AGAIN, this is my second time around after 8 years. ugh! and the doctor prescribed elavil but i havent taken it yet. havent even picked it up from the store. i sooooo want to do this without meds but some days it just is so hard. i had a friend today tell me that she had a nervous breakdown and her symptoms were like mine. it bothered me because i know im not having a breakdown. her husband was cheating on her and her daughter was molested and she just shut down, literally. i try to explain to people what is wrong with me but they dont get it. its sooo nice to have this forum. we need to just keep on trying and push through this time. and soon all this will be a memory all the panic and thoughts, just like before when we did this.

do you find when you are doing something you dont want to do or are stuck at work that it gets worse. im finding that. i tell myself that its just because im anxious to be done and get on with my day. but that dosent help. once im done for the day i do feel better. i wonder if its just me. i can relate to wanting to be better right now. i wake up every morning wondering if im better. then the day goes on and im not. but maybe i am doing better. maybe i should take the meds. i wish there was something natural like mega vitamins that would do the same thing as the anti-depresants. o-well thanks for listening!LC

Hi, Guys,
I too can relate to the anxiousness that you go through. Socal and Marija I experience simular feeling. There are times when I feel that I have myself together, I know what I want to do with my life. All excited. Then all of a sudden something happens or the feeling of anxiousness just appear and I'm thrown off track and have to start all over. This can be frustrating. Bon, gave an outsome responds and good advice. Even though we fall we must get up and try again. Give ourself credit for what we have done. I started medication a few months ago. I was unable to continue the meds because of financial issues. I got laid off and couldn't afford to pay. The meds made a big difference in my life. I felt like my brain could finally breath. It wasn't cluttered with negative thoughts like it was. I really felt different and better. I plan to get back on medicine as soon as possible. When I go through these spurts, I feel like I'm not equip to function like a normal person. I have always hid behind other people. When I was young it was my younger cousin (two months apart). Now that I'm married I sometimes feel like I hid behind my husband in certain incidents. I'm tired. I want to be me. Be what God made to be and feel good about it. Bye-bye for now. Peace.