I've been doing okay for a couple of months. I've been able to recognize stress & anxiety and deal with them for the most part. I had lost a lot of weight because of GI problems and was feeling better about myself- not obsessing about the weight and recognizing it was going to take a while to get back to where I was and feeling like I was starting to look better. Then I had several stressors hit all at once. One of which was I went on Monday to get results on diagnostic tests I had done. I have a benign liver tumor that hasn't changed in the last 6 months, but otherwise there is nothing wrong. The GI doc is concerned about the weight loss and suggests a colonoscopy to determine if it is irritible bowel syndrome or inflammatory bowel disease or what it is. Tuesday I had to go to several meetings and everyone who saw me kept commenting very negatively about my weight. Today I feel completely battered. There is NOTHING wrong with me? It's ALL anxiety and stress? Then why am I still having gas, bloating, and weird achey pain on my right side and why should I undergo more diagnostic tests (when I'm phobic about medication) when there probably isn't anything wrong? And how do I handle all the negative comments about my weight when I WAS feeling okay about things? And how do I gain weight when I can't tolerate lactose or soy and am supposedly allergic to corn (and am eating as much as I can already)? Why does a growth spurt have to happen all at once? I also started having some anticipatory anxiety over seeing all the family during the holidays. What if they don't accept that I've made some changes? What if they make comments about my weight? I know I'm in the circle and I'm having trouble jumping out. I AM doing something new- I'm asking for help (which is hard for me). I could use some suggestions and support. Thanks.

Dear Rica,

I wonder if a whey protein powder shake would help you add some weight back on? I have a great book at home that probably has the answer. I will look at it and get back to you on this.

As for the anticipatory anxiety that you are experience, recognize it and float. Talk lovingly to yourself about what is going on. "Ok, I have some unknowns in my life right now, I can choose to get all worked up with fear, or I can let it go and trust that I can handle the tests that are coming up." "I choose to relax and enjoy my day today. The future is not here, I only have right now." "I am doing my best to take good care of myself." "I am going to research today about ways to take care of myself through diet." "I know I can change the health of my body by changing the food I eat." "I am willing to make those changes, baby steps will take me to my goal of healthy eating and healthy weight." "I love my body, it provides me with much joy and I take good care of it." "It's ok if someone comments on my weight today, I know they are just showing concern. I also know that I am doing my best to take good care of myself and I will return to my proper weight soon." You may want to tweak them to suit how you talk and then repeat these over and over. Give your power back. I hope this helps. I am praying for you. Best wishes,

Hope,
THANK-YOU!! Your post was very helpful and a reminder I can do it. I'm still feeling a little down, but recognize I AM doing the best I can. For me it is as hard to gain weight as it is for others to lose and it's just going to take time.

Rica,

I'm in the same boat as you... I have trouble gaining weight and my doctor is pushing me to gain weight to achieve a healthier BMI. In the last three months I have managed to gain five pounds. I eat three meals and 2-3 snacks per day. For example, I might start out with eggs w/cheese and toast, kiwi, and organic blueberry juice for breakfast; then I have a rice cake with natural peanut butter and banana or chopped apple for a snack; then a turkey sandwich or tuna sandwich (I mix broccoli sprouts with the tuna and spread it on whole-grain bread) and raw veggies and Terra chips for lunch; whole-grain crackers with cream cheese or red-pepper hummus for another snack; and chicken or fish with some kind of pasta and broccoli and a salad, and lactose-free milk for dinner; and sometimes yogurt before bed. Lots of water, no caffeine or sugar.

I know how you feel about all the tests... Over the last ten years, I've had MRIs, mammograms, stress test, echocardiogram, EKG, upper GI and most recently a colonoscopy. I always experience anticipatory anxiety before these tests and they have all been negative... so all that worrying for nothing! But at least I have peace of mind that my symptoms have all been due to anxiety and nothing more. Now I am able to focus on being as healthy as I can physically, mentally, and spiritually. By eating healthy, exercising, doing the Attacking Anxiety program, and being involved in my church I am able to reassure myself I am doing everything possible to be a complete and healthy person. The rest I put in God's hands.

~ peace ~

Jen

Hope4peace, what a wonderful, positive example of self talk. It's helped me today. Thanks!

{{{{{Rica}}}}}

It's so hard to bear when people (even if they are well-meaning) make comments about our appearance. I hope you are being very gentle with yourself. You are doing what you need to do to get better. I'm sure you will gain weight back in time. Hang in there!

Thanks Julie. I have been able to be gentle with myself. I tell myself how great I FEEL - even if the weight hasn't caught up, I feel better. And I made it a point to hang around with some people who are positive and encouraging and it really helped. That includes the people on this forum. I feel teary as I think about what a blessing this forum is to me- it is so helpful to have people who know what you've been through and what you're going through and who support you right where you are!