Well, It's been a long time since I have rec'd those strange feelings creeping up on me "out of the blue". Usually I would feel anxiety due to something I was challenging myself with deliberately. This time, driving home from church, before reaching my driveway, it came!!

That nasty creeping, "something bad is going to happen" feeling came over me. My head felt funny and for a moment I felt like I was about to "have a stroke", "pass out" or worse.

Weird thing is, my heart didn't beat fast, I didn't sweat, I didn't react the same way as I used to in the past. I could have but I didn't.

When it came over me, it was one of those familiar feelings, yet still in the back of your mind, you begin to wonder if this is finally "it".

Well needless to say, this feeling only lasted SECONDS long.

Honestly, I was disappointed that this creeped up on me but I was glad that I didn't over-react to those feelings and cause myself to go into a panic attack.

Nobody likes those feelings !! NOBODY! But they are not the end of the world.

I knew exactly why I was feeling the way I was feeling.

I've got some stressful events going on in my life right now. Things like a chronic ear problem that I've had for over a year and tomorrow will be seeing an ear specialist. It's painful and irritating to hear my own voice when I talk, sing.

on top of this, I'll be doing all the running around. My calendar is full for the week and it's a little overwhelming.

All in all, I KNOW why I am experiencing these sensations!! There is no mystery to this anymore!! The mystery is over!

Back when I didn't understand panic and anxiety, everything was a big mystery. I was always waiting for something bad to happen as a result of those feelings, now I know that those feelings are only bluffing me and if I pay the feelings little attention, they disipate within minutes, seconds. The mystery is over.

I must say though, that anxiety has it's way of enforcing it's old thoughts, feelings upon a person even though they KNOW there is no mystery to this condition. I think this is the most exhausting part of this condition. It's persistance and it's chronic trickery. It truly get's tiring.

My old self, would have retorted back to old ways of avoidance and "what if" thoughts but I know better now that the very action of doing that would only hurt my recovery. So I remind myself of my NEW way of doing things. Yes, even if I do feel fear and anxiety attacks in a public place with lots of people.

It's not the best feeling in the world, but it's from doing this, that my brain recognizes that these sensations are NOTHING to run from.

I was in church yesterday, ( before my recent growth spurt driving home) and I had suddenly remembered a picture that I saw once of Christ holding a man who was limp and exhausted. I believe this thought was brought back to me by the Holy Spirit because I know that this is how we overcome fear, pain, grief, etc. in life. ( at least for me) To surrender all that I am and all my struggles to the Lord. To learn to become LIMP in the arms of the Lord even in the midst of the symptoms and scary thoughts of anxiety.

This is what I call "FLOATING".

If you haven't seen the picture I am referring to, you can see it here: http://store1.yimg.com/I/dayspringcards_1748_1429009

My hope for all those reading about my experience, is that you will see that I still have sensations now and then but that my reaction to them is different than before.

I believe mastering this quality is what makes a person recovered. If your goal is to not experience anxiety, you will never reach that goal and only frustrate yourself. Instead, your goal should be to react differently to your life stressors. This is TRUE recovery.

To all readers, take care of yourselves, be patient with yourself, be accepting and forgiving to yourself. Keep on moving ahead no matter how big your steps are!

One thing came to mind, that was the way that some animals REACT when they face danger. Have you ever seen an animal PLAY DEAD when another threatening animal was around it, sniffing it and wanting to attack?? By being completely still, it outwits the attacker. We need to be more like this!!!! When our attacker comes ( anxiety/panic) we need to just "BE STILL", "underreact" and "allow time to pass"....this is how you outwit an attack!!

thanks for listening...

thank you for sharing that, i feel a little like you do because i had had therapy for panic 5 years ago and i didnt get them very often so for me to have a full blown panic attack last week at the dentist office really disappointed me , but i DID get through the last 25 minutes of that appointment and i DID go back for the other appointment yesterday which was longer an hour and 1/2.....i know 5 years ago if i would have had a panic attack then I most of the time would never go back to the place i had it, or i would avoid it,,,,,,but instead i went back.
Your right Jesus is the #1 person that helped me through yesterdays appointment. Yes the program helps and floating. But what i found most comforting Was telling myself Jesus is with me, i am safe. And the i am safe part comes from the program, teaching me to realize that I am my Safe person. But i do believe that in Christ i am the safest.
thank you sunset
Lori

What great letters/affirmations of your ability to change! You two have the final concepts down pat! i would love permission to quote you both in the Less Stress Press...with a picture of you both...any chance I could do that?

Carolyn

thank you so much carolyn that means so much to me that you said that, it really does in fact i am in tears. Yes you could have a picture i dont have any of my recent heavy ones darn!lol you can have one with the family it was a year or so ago or do you want one alone? i have one alone from a year and 1/2 ago or so but its little or i have a ton of old ones when my husbnd and i still had hair and figures LOL Lori

My God, what a beautiful way to describe the FLOATING feeling and how the deal with it! I thank you for putting it into words for all of us who go through this on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. God Bless!

Carolyn,

Sure thing! Let me know where to send the pic, and I'll send one.

Times are a bit hard right now. My husband is gone on a 2 week TDY for the Air Nat'l Guard and I had my ear exam today. Looks like they couldn't find anything visible, so I am heading to the hospital tomorrow to have a cat scan on my brain and TMJ area.

You don't know how much I thought of panicking, but then turned around and said "nah!!".....
Instead I chose to picture myself LIMP in God's arms again. I do have some scary thoughts coming into my mind about brain tumors, etc...but I know that no matter what happens, it's out of my hands and into God's .

It's a hard thing to accept that we cannot control everything in our lives but to accept that God is in control.

Even if the worst imagined thing was true (tumor/cancer)God has a perfect plan for me and that will be what I have to put my trust in.

Lori & AMY, Glad it was of benefit to share that. I am also glad to know that I am not alone in my experiences. Helps me to know that I am on the right path.

BRAVO,BRAVO,BRAVO!!!

If for no other reason, having this growth spurt has proven to you that you have indeed conquered your fears!

I commend you on your well deserved recovery!

Devad.

P.S. I'm infatuated with your quote-"Fear kocked on the door..."

Sunset,

Just email the pic to carolyn@stresscenter.com

or send: attention Carolyn
Midwest Center
POB 205
Oak Harbor, OH 43449

Will you call or write and let me know how your scan goes?

Carolyn,
I've sent you a pic already. Let me know if you rec'd it or not. I did have my scan yesterday. I won't know anything until Friday at the earliest but it may even take longer than that.
I will be sure to let you all know how it goes.
The test itself was a breeze. I'd prefer a CAT scan anyday compared to an MRI. I am thankful for the technology we have today to look inside our bodies! I find it so amazing that we can do that. The worst part is the anxiety related to my own "what if's" and not really knowing what's going on. We always want to know everything!!! I hate that about myself! LOL

Today was a good day though, I kept busy, exercised, talked positive to myself and put off my worry time till 9pm. Well it's past 9pm and I just don't have the energy to worry right now.

I will be sure to post an update!

Ok Everyone,

My brain CT was fine !! As well as the scan on my jaw!

They did say that my sinuses are very inflammed though ( I know this is probably due to allergies)...anyhow...I still have an ear problem but now I know that it's probably something related to stress or my diet.

At least the worst things were ruled out!
AMEN!!

i am so glad that nothing was seriously wrong with you sunset. You are so helpful to so many people on this forum. I hope your sinus infection clears up soon Lori

Thanks Lori,

I've been like this a little over a year !! Crazy huh? I guess I have come to accept feeling this way as "normal" and that's part of the reason why I have gone so long without being seen.

I am curious to know what the doc may say at my follow up.

I'm not sure if my ear pain and ear fullness is related to this sinusitis or not but hopefully I'll get some answers.

Hello Susan, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience with your 'growth spurt'. You are such an encouragement to me and I am sure to a lot of others on this message board. Also, I am glad that the tests came out ok. I am sure you are relieved. I wonder if your sinuses being so inflamed can cause the problem with your ear. I know our sinus cavities run around the back of our heads and behind the ear as well.Anyway, I hope you get to the bottom of it and I am sure it will all turn out well.

Sunset,

I am so glad to hear that they found nothing with the cat scan. I was concerned. You handled it beautifully. Thank God that is over. I have never had much sinus problem, but about 4 years ago I did have a lot of nasal congestion and blowing my nose a lot. Some of it settled in my ear and caused an ear infection. Sinus problems can definitely cause ear problems. Hope you get it figured out soon. I'm just relieved that you don't have anything wrong that is life threatening.

Suzanne,
My doc thinks that perhaps it is my sinuses causing my ear problem but the only way to find out is by treating the sinus problem. I am on antibiotics and taking prescription nasal spray.
My jaw is very tight on the left side and I often wonder if it is actually TMJ as well. Only time will tell. Thanks!

Don, thanks for your kind words! I am hoping that stress reduction will help the condition to clear faster. I have read that both TMJ and sinusitis can both be stress related. Most of the things that I suffer with have something to do with anxiety/stress. I am not suprised anymore at those facts. I can't wait till the YMCA opens in my area!