Hi everyone, I have been on my healing path from anxiety for about 10 years now. I am amazed at the progress and the growth spurts that I have experienced along the way by practicing the tapes for the most part, alone. I have come to realize that even though I have worked the program on and off over the years as I have needed it....I still kept my anxiety a secret from those closest to me. WhatI understand about this now, is that although I was working HARD at my healing, I was still doing it in secret...and so I was still doing it with fear. Does that make sense? I have recently begun to review my program again for a variety of reasons, and I thought to myself...would the growth spurts be lessened if I truly shared my pain and fearful feelings with some of the people who are closest to me? My family and friends knew I had anxiety issues, but I never really told anyone the degree with which I SUFFERED at times. So, I have been in a relationship with my partner for about 6 years, and recently I opened up and we spoke about what it is like...to my absolute amazement....I am finding this so healing and so helpful. Having a supportive partner, or even friend or close colleague to share with seems to help take that extra fear off. I am now hoping to attend a support group, and maybe find some friends on this site to email and exchange supportive help and messages with. Would anyone like a helpful friend to exchange messages of support with? I am a high school teacher....and will be a great supportive friend back

Hey, I just finished the program, and am working with a therapist also on some other skills to help eliminate anxiety. I work as a hairdresser, and i have so many friends and clients who also have had issues with anxiety at different times in their lives. It is said that almost one in five people have a problem with this, so i really feel that it is an integral part of recovery to share your journey on your healing path with others. Being able to openly talk about it will show you just how many people close to you have had similar problems and therefor by being able to share with them, it is a huge self esteem booster to pass on all the information and the program itself to people who otherwise would not know better. Sharing with people has helped me so much in my process, and i also feel like it really allows you to let go of alot of the feelings surrounding this condition. I say talk to everyone until you feel annoying and find out just how common and treatable this problem is. Also, saying it out loud to yourself only confirms how well you are doing and how far you have come in your journey. Another thing is that if people make you feel weird or strange for expressing these things it is usually because they too have their own problems that you being so open about yours makes them feel uncomfortable because they dont want to deal. Dont talk to those people about it ;-). Good luck and congratulations
Dana

Hi Dana, THanks for your encouragement This is a whole new stage in the healing process for me, and I have to say again, it amazes me....it has absolutely taken the sting out of the fear, and has helped me to actually slow down and face my anxiety patterns on a much deeper, more healing level. So far, the few people that I have really shared with have been totally supportive I agree with you too, it is unbelievable just how many people have had, or still have, this condition on some level. Over the years I have also had students who have confided with me about their anxieties. The part of the healing that I am tuning into more then anything now, is just how quickly, almost instantaneously, my body goes through a physical reaction to a negative fearful thought! It is incredible! I am catching my thoughts now, not running from them, and this is making a huge difference. One last thing...something else that is helping tremendously with my ability to slow down and not run...is yoga...I have begun taking a 'gentle - restorative' yoga class....it really helps you not to be afraid to slow down and go within. I definitely recommend it
Well, I wish you inner peace and health on your journey, June

I need some help. I started the program back in '06. I did some better then found the need for a coach. It helped for quite a while and now I'm slipping back into anx/dep and I hate it. I haven't taken time to go thru the wkbk. again or listen to the CD's. (Once in a while I do). It's l:15 and I'm still in my p.j's. I know I need to get back to exercise and eating healthy. Seems I've gotten on the wrong path. I think I've missed being on here and hope to get help from the community once again and then be able to give back. Any comments welcome please.

I am new to this blogging thing so bear with me. I had my first panic attack in 1994, I was in my early 20's and had just had my first son who was 5 months old at the time. This led me to doctor after doctor who did test upon test and told me I had anxiety/depression. I became agoraphobic for about 1 year and then it all seemed to subside for about 5 years until 1999 when I was sitting in church and had another full blown panic attack. This put me back to square on and I thought it was hopeless. I had yearly physicals that all came back normal. I was watching tv late one night when I saw the infomercial for AAD. I purchased the tapes and they really seemed to help me through that period which lasted maybe 2 to 3 months. I did not finish the program because I was feeling better. Well it is 2009 and it has reared it's ugly head yet again this time it seems like I can't shake it for some reason. I am eating right, exercising, have eliminated caffeine, don't smoke, eliminated sugar, included bran, have taken more medical tests (It has been hard for me to accept it is anxiety because it has been so long since I've dealt with it and I am getting older 38 to be exact) all of which have come back normal. I have gone through the program again to the end and am still struggling a bit. I want to recover more than anything. What am I doing wrong?

Dear bgavon, You have come back to the right place No worries....just get engaged with the program again. It worked for you before, and it will work again but this time even better...I read something the other day about 'level 1 learning' where we read the information, can verbalize it, but have not yet assimilated it and put it into full integrated use. I believe that was the case with me for the past 10 years...I learned enough to get by, but was still running from the core negative thinking issues that were largely at the root of my anxiety disorder...that and the fact that my central nervous system is wired like that of a squirrel But, I am o.k. with that because it is part of what makes me an effective, energetic teacher with my students. But, back to you...it's never too late...there is soooo much hope when you get back into the program...so, get to it...you will only feel better that much faster. In addition...cut out the sugar and caffiene...that has made a HUGE difference for me...it seriously has. I will check this board as often as I can, and will be here to support you God Bless

Dear Ajgoldberg, I hope today finds you feeling a little more peaceful. I can totally empathize with you, as I too went through long stretches of time and had no real issues, and then something or another would trigger another episode that could last either for a short, or longer time. I think what I am learning this time around, is that even though I knew the skills from the tapes and practiced them, I was still doing it with fear...and still fearing that I would get the symptoms back. What is helping me reach what I believe is a much deeper level of healing is that I have fully shared the fact that I have had this problem with some of the people closest to me...they helped me see that I was not all that abnormal In addition, I think sharing at that level helped me to get real about what exactly it was I was dealing with. I say this because I was always skirting around my anxiety...acknowledging just enough to get by...but never fully facing it head on. The other things that have helped me tremendously are practicing yoga, especially the meditation and breathing aspects. I believe that has helped me to not be so afraid to calm down and go within...even in the scary times, I seem better able to do this now. I would encourage you to stay the course...face it head on...as Carolyn Dickman once said in on a tape "I found that when I had a 'set back or growth spurt' it was usually because there was still something I had to learn". I have paraphrased I think, but I am believeing this is true....maybe you are still afraid of your panicky feelings? You can do this....reach out for the support you need and go for it....Peace to you

Junebug, Thanks for the encouraging words. I am doing some better today although I took a xanax and don't usually during the day. I think I will tonite too so hopefully I won't need to tomorrow to get back on track. We're going out for my daughter's birthday to Red Lobster. That's probably the underlying issue because her and her husband have been separated 2 wks. now and tomorrow he'll be with pretending in front of the grandparents that everything is OK. My friend who has cancer named all the things I've been praying about and she said it's no wonder I ended up in ER. (yesterday)

On another note, is someone able to change our profile? It's not right. I signed in as barbgavon and it's changed to bgavon and my e-mail address is changed too so if anyone e-mails me, I won't get it. Usually there's a place where you can edit. I don't get it.

It's me again. How weird is that after I posted it came on as barbgavon so I went to the profile and it's changed back the way I wanted it. Well, I don't get how it happened that fast, but I'm glad.

Morning Barb, Hope today finds you feeling a little more peace. Here's something to remember...when we go through stressful times our body naturally has a stress response that feels like anxiety sometimes, and that's NORMAL! Try to just accept that....it is really helpful for me when I tell myself that I am having a physical response to whatever it is going on for me, and that it is normal....all of my friends and my partner does too...it's just that they accept it and do not build on it like we can. As soon as you feel the physical symptons remind and assure yourself that this is normal, it won't hurt you and it does not have top be scary. When you go to dinner, just breathe....do the deep breaths and focus on that...and do not worry about feeling panicky, you are working your way through this....give yourself credit and a huge pat on the back...you will be ok. Here's a good phrase: God does'nt make junk, and He made you...you are wonderful in God's eyes...so try and be wonderful in your own too God Bless Jbug

Junebug, I can tell you're going to be a great friend. You're an encourager. The world needs more encouragers. I already got good news this morning from my friend with the cancer in her breast. They got it all out, however, they say she should have radiation. She and her husband decided not to. It's 10% it will come back w/radiation and 30% without. They're believing the Lord it won't come back otherwise it's time for her to go home anyway. She said when they shoot radiation it's like a shot gun where it splatters and can hit other places. She's told me not to pray any more (she knows how burdened I become for people) esp. my daughter/son-in-law. My friend said just keep thanking God. So I've been thanking him for my kids and that my son-in-law will make the effort to go to counseling. Thanking God that the cancer is gone for my friend (he answered already!) GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME and His word says "ALL things work together for good " not some.

My biggest thing is to get control of my thoughts. Whenever a worry comes, if I'll just learn to thank him, hopefully I'll get the victory!

Morning Barb, Glad you have had some good news God IS good...all the time, even when we do not understand what is going on in life. I really believe that. I have been blessed with soooo many affirmations in my life, at the most difficult and the best of times. I too am working on the "controlling my thoughts" part of this process. I have gone back to lesson 1 in order to dig a little deeper at the causes of my anxiety issues. For me, it is biochemical only in that the systems in my body work at a very high rate...I am a type A person. However, I also realize that that is a really good thing when used in productive ways. I am accepting that, and it is helpful. The part that is hard that I have realized is that my negative thoughts have become almost reflexive, in that I have talked and reinforced negative messages to myself for sooo long that it is really kind of hard to break that cycle. But, so far, I have been having really great success. I am focusing more then ever on catching my negative thoughts/beliefs by now, and restructuring them. It is hard, but I believe that is at the heart of my healing. I believe that as I continue to unravel all of the negative messages I absorbed as a child and continue to reinforce to myself, my healing will be complete. So, it's a sunny Monday morning here in Jersey...I hope it will be a beautiful sunny day for you as well. Also) How did the dinner with your son-in-law go? June

hey there junebug,

The dinner went really well even tho we had to wait and had our names in. I was getting really hungry but the neat thing was the manager of Red Lobster came over and offered us 2 appeitzers while we waited on her. We couldn't make up our minds so she paid for 3 and then I had all you can eat shrimp!!! OMG, it was SO good. As far as our son-in-law, what can I say. He's a whimp. He tells people what they want to hear and you never know where he really stands I don't think he does and that's the problem now in their marriage. They both love each other very much but there's still some MAJOR issues. I just have to pray (my friend said don't even do that cuz even that upsets me). It's their life. They're not turning to us for advice so unasked for advice is definitely not what they want. It's so hard being a parent and wanting what's best for our kids. Do we really know what's best? Only God knows and the hard part is leaving it in his hands. We have our house for sale and I'm constantly reasoning about everything. When we keep trying to figure things out it's more like we don't need God. I DO need God so I MUST learn to WAIT ON THE LORD. Dear God help me to be able to do just that.

Heh Barb, Glad the dinner went well (-: Here's a thought...while you are waiting on God you might as well see things, think things and visualize things though a positive lens...seeing them having a positive outcome. I have read in one of my lessons that "we draw positive things to us" when we keep our energy and thoughts on a positive level....try that and see if it works...and of course let go...and let God. At the minimum, by thinking and visualizing things in a positive light, you will at least not worry and will then feel better. I think this works....I have been putting that into action since last spring, and some really great things have happened for me.

Now, I have something that I have been struggling with a bit that I'd like to run by you....I have a friend that lives in Arizona. I have known her for 30 years. We used to travel together and spend a lot of time doing things. We are like sisters. About 15 years ago she got married, and she and her husband now live in AZ. They have invited me year after year to go out for a visit and play golf with them. Because of my old social anxiety issues I put it off, and put it off...to the point where she recently expressed to me that her feelings are hurt that I have not come for a visit in all the years they have lived there. The truth is...they belong to a country club and I know that I will have to do a lot of socializing while there. I am working my program on such a deeper level now, that I know I can do this. I have opened up to family and some friends about the true depth of my anxiety struggles...and it has really helped me alot. I really believe that I will own these new skills and new beliefs. For so long I coped either the wrong way, or half- hearted way because of persistent fear. I know my life is different now...but I am still resisting making the reservations....I have to do this as I have committed to going....is it habit? Residual fear? Any thoughts? Thanks, June

Yes I do think it's a habit. Just as my stupid worrying and procrastination that I've done all day is. I'm sick of it but yet I don't change. It is the 2 steps forward and 3 back. Sometimes it seems like its all steps backward.

You are on track to turn those thoughts to positive. Like today when my daughter mentioned us getting a family photo but she just doesn't know what to do about their situation. I thought go figure...they're split up and she's talking family photo? We just had a family photo in May at our son's wedding. i know it's not the same but come on, we all just spent money. So yes try to be positive..a part of me thinks she wants this photo because she does love him. I know they love each other v. much and our best friends but there's other issues that are very hard to deal with. He won't go for counseling probably out of embarrassment and she sees no point in going herself. Well, I had much to do today but wasn't getting much done. I never did get to town for errands. I still need to return a movie but everything else is closed. I've wasted the day.

As far as you going to AZ by your friend, make it a PRIORITY. I've been wanting to go see my friend in AZ for some time also. We didn't do a winter vacation because of our son's wedding. I told my husband I really want to go by her. Her mom died 2 yrs. of cancer and now her husband's probably dying. I too want to be there for my friend. We'll pray for each other that this would work out. Where in AZ? My friend is in Phoenix and we'll probably go there mid or end of February. Together we can beat this!!