Hello,
I have not been on here for years, because I have been doing very well. Now after about four years I am having a set back/growth spurt. I am a male 31 years old who started having panic attacks after a lot of stress. I got the program and got much better. Over the last few years I have gotten completely over panic attacks, have not had one in almost 3 and half years. I still do not have any fear of them. But I still have a fear of loss of control from time to time. This may seem wierd but my main fear over the last year has been depression and sucide. I have never really suffered with depression but I have this fear of it that makes no sense at all. I have talked to doctors and even Midwest center staff and I have even been honest with myself and I do not depression. BUT I have this fear because I spoke to my wife's cousin about a year and half ago and he suffered from depression and ever since then I have had a fear of it happening to me. I have just had my first baby and I have just sold my home and bought another. The stess is getting to me. I am lightheaded all day and sometimes tired. I love my child and my wife with all my heart and I like my job. I have many friends and can not figure out why I can not let this fear go. I need to be able to keep it together right now, I know that my fear is irrational but it is really hard now and it is starting to get to me like never before. Any advice would help me. My child has been wonderful and worth all the anxiety, I just would like to get through this. I think that I am just worrying about not being there for my child.
Rich

Hi, Rich. I wonder if you are living an anxious lifestyle without even realizing it. I realize that you've had a lot of stress in your life lately (even positive things can cause stress). Are you doing the relaxation CD or something like it every day? How are your negative thoughts overall?

I am a pretty positive person on the surface and most people seem to see me as a cheery person. However, when I started paying attention to what I was saying in my head, often it was very negative. That can build up and lead to stress.

Also, it sounds like you might be spending a lot of your mental energy on worrying about the future. How are you doing with staying in the present moment? At this moment you have a lovely family, good friends, and an enjoyable job. None of us can know what the future holds, but think of the wonder of what you have in your life right now!

I know, for me, sometimes words like that would trigger my fear of losing those wonderful things. For me, I had to give up the control of wanting to keep my life and loved ones safe. Life doesn't work that way, so I really try to stay in the precious present moment. I deal with life's challenges as they come, but I don't want to waste one second more than I have to by feeling guilty about the past or worrying about the future.

I hope this is helpful. I guess I saw a bit of myself in your post, and I wanted to relate what's been working for me.