I went to a Halloween Party today and I actually had a very bad anxiety attack. I have not had one of these since the beginning of the program. I was so anxious about this party the whole day. I liked my cowgirl outfit but I felt uncomfortable in it since it had my midriff showing. Second I had said that I was going to bring music but it did not seem to go over well. I had visualize myself going to the party but by the time I got there all that just went right out the window. I felt like I was hyperventilating, starting hurting and I just wanted to get out of there. I have been trying to give myself positive self talk about it but I just feel like I let myself down. Also while I was driving I made so many mistakes running off the road and going into another lane without looking. I was literally a basketcase. My sister tried to make a joke about my condition but I just did not see the humor. Please could someone give me some encouragement because right now I just feel horrible.

first of all you did good by going! so what if you drive off the road i do it all the time.nobody got hurt so you where in control.IT`S OK TO HAVE A BAD DAY that doesnt mean your a failure, you just had a bad day. don`t beat yourself up, there will be other party`s.
I think thats why lucinda says this program is for life. We may have to go back sometimes. That doesnt make us failures.
ANYBODY CAN HAVE A BAD DAY !
PICK UP YOUR BOOT STRINGS AND CARRY ON.
SMILE GOD LOVES YOU, WE LOVE YOU, AND YOUR STRONG NOW!

quote:

Originally posted by blanxfem76:
I just feel like I let myself down.

Hi Blanxfem76,

You may think you let yourself down, but not in the way you may feel. One key point in lesson fifteen states:

"This is where true recovery lies. Learning to be compassionate with yourself. Learning to give yourself permission to feel anxious sometimes and not let it scare you."

As I see it, you didn't let yourself down by building anxiety and stumbling through with panic: So what if you're feeling all that! You know what it is. You know you�ll learn something of value from a practice opportunity that will make tomorrow even better.

Perhaps what this opportunity today is really all about is learning the value of practicing letting in your own patience, compassion, love and acceptance for your self no matter where you may find your self on the journey.



[This message has been edited by Dolphin (edited 10-26-2001).]

Dolphin, You are always so wise..how did you get that way.......I envy you. I'm working so hard to get to that point, but there are so many growth spurts getting in my way right now. But I keep on chuggin' along.