I have suffered with anxiety off and on, since I was probably 7 or 8 years old (now 36). I never knew what it was. Tried talking to my family, they acted like they didn't know what was wrong with me. I now know better. This is definitely hereditary to a degree.

I suffered with anxiety and panic and obsessive scary thought. While going trough this, it consumed me. Then after a long while, it would pass and I wouldn't have times like these for a long time, although I did have other anxiety behaviours. For the most part when times were good, they were good.

My anxiety started as seperation anxiety. As I got older I wondered I I loved my parents, would I hurt someone else or myselft, losing my mind, did I love my boyfriend. Thank God, these were none at the same time.

Six years ago when I got a divorce (husband cheated), my mind became so consumed with that, it was all I could think of. Then one day all of a sudden my scary thoughts came back and my focus was off of my ex and on myself. My big scary thought was of hurting someone else or doing something bizarre like that.

When this happed I got the program from the MWC. I made such a huge difference in my life. Yes it took time and hard work, but it was not nice to know I was not alone. I could so relate to Lucinda, Jacque and Joan.

During that time doctor put me on 75mg. of Effexor and I have been doing great. I am under stress between work, back in college and parenting, but have been doing well. Whenever a scary thought would come to me I just floated with it.

About 3 weeks ago my new physician told me we were going to stop the Effexor. I was only on half the recommended minimum does anyway and he thought it at this point was more of a placebo affect. So I went off.

A few days after I went off I started to feel odd and somewhat nervous. One night after getting home from work late at night I sat down to watch Oprah. The episode was about the woman to killed her son, she had bipolar disorder. I shut it off, but still had seen enough. I have been experiencing a growth spurt every since.

I admit I have listened to the tapes but only went through the program that one time. I would refer back to the skills I learned though. Needless to say I have started back with tape 1 and am doing the program again.

I just hope and pray this goes away. My enire goal was to beat this and never have it come back, but I guess that's not reality. We learn by experience. I would appreciate any advice anyone could give me. I do ok sometimes during the day and sometimes I just cry. Haven't really had a panic attack yet, I have been using my skills to keep them at bay. Thanks and sorry this is sooo long.

Traceen

Trac, I see no one replied to you. I don't usually even go to this "growth spurt" section. Well today I had a growth spurt, sure didn't feel like that at the time! At the time it was a major panic attack for me. Altho it lasted probably only a half hr. it seemed like an hour or so. I've been trying to figure out all day what happened. I don't want to go thru this again. As I looked back like Lucinda says to do, I definitely see how thought after thought piling on became overwhelming and caused all this. Just like you Trac, I sometimes cry for no reason and sometimes at that time of month (don't understand it cuz haven't had a period for years) however I still have one ovarie. It must have something to do with hormones, I can wake up in the middle of the night and feel like crying. The program will help. You will get better. To think you will totally overcome those feelings I don't know if it's realistic. I wonder if Lucinda may get those feelings still. Maybe she gets the feelings but knows exactly what to say to overcome it. I guess that's what practicing the program is. Darn, I wish I could find my CD's. Haven't found them since our move 3 mo. ago. The relaxation tape could have helped. I don't know, get in a panic and you can't think straight. Now my post is long too. I don't know if I was any help or just added to your confusion. Anyhow, I will look at this as a growth spurt and not put aside all the progress I made before.

Hi Trac, sorry to hear about this growth spurt. Know this time you can beat it with the skills you've learned.

About 2 year's ago I had anxiety/panic attacks for the first time. I took Xanax for a couple of months, and it went away. It stayed away for about 1 yr. When it came back, it was worse - the fast beating heart, etc. So this time I decided I would beat it once and for all.

I'm on week 4 of this program, and I also read the bible, and a book called "Fear from Anxiety" by Howard Liebgold M.D. He has great tips too and had anxiety for 31 year's!

Here's a tip - Try to use your left side (analytical) of your brain, instead of your right side (creative/anxiety side) as much as possible. This is called a cortical shift. If you do a puzzle, sing, dance, do anything with your left side, your right side will subside.

And stay away from programs that discuss our disorder or disorder's that could put thoughts in our head's.

Do your breathing/meditation every night and keep the tape in your car when driving.

My anxiety is lessening everyday. This time I plan to beat it, with the skills I've learned from this program and Howard Liebgold. If anxiety starts to creep in again, I'll combat it with all my might. You can do this too!

God Bless, Suz

Barb G. and Suz64: Thank you both so much for your encourging words. To day I ordered a book from the MWC on obsessive thoughts and taking steps each to do review. Good luck to you both and thanks again. It's so awesome to hear back from people who understand. God bless and take care.

Traceen

Suz - Would you check the title of that book by Dr. Liebgold again? Thank you.

Trac: I am no MD, but be kind to yourself...even if you were on a low dosage, your body still needs time to adjust to the change of not having the medication. For 1 year I took 10mg Paxil, which is the minimum dose. But still, my (good) psychiatrist recommends a VERY slow taper for any antidepressant, like only changing 20% every 6 weeks! And even with this extremely small change (I am now at 6 mg after starting the taper 11 weeks ago), I notice "bumps", and periods where all of a sudden the anxiety is there. But I use the skills the program taught me, I don't make too big a deal out of it, and I recognize that it is probably the medication change and not really "me" causing the feelings, and they pass. You are doing a great job with your skills, continue going through the program again (I went through twice). Once you have weathered this "growth spurt", and you will, you will have more experience to draw on, to know you can get yourself through, and be well. Are you using compassionate self-talk? "I work, I am back in school, I am a parent. All of these are tough jobs, and I went off my medication. Of course it will take me time to adjust. I have heard of many people who were very upset about that Oprah program. I don't need to over-react about it. I am not back to square one, I will grow and move forward." Good luck.

formerly Sleepless Mom

Boon - it is "Freedom from fear overcoming anxiety, phobias and panic". I guarantee it will help you!

God bless, Suz

quote:

Originally posted by Boon:
Suz - Would you check the title of that book by Dr. Liebgold again? Thank you.

SleeplessMom: Thanks so much for your advice. I really needed it tonight. Yesterday and this morning were great, this afternoon, so, so. I appreciate your helf. God bless and take care.

Trac

Hi Suz - Can't seem to find it on Amazon so will check the book store. Sounds like good reading.

Boon - try barnesandnoble.com - put in Howard Liebgold. I just tested it, and it was the first book that came up. Good luck!

God bless, Suz

quote:

Originally posted by Boon:
Hi Suz - Can't seem to find it on Amazon so will check the book store. Sounds like good reading.

Found it, Suz. I kept typing his name without the "g". Thank you.

Glad you found it Boon, it's been soooo helpful. Your gonna love it, and you'll see the benefits right away!

God bless, Suz

Hey Guys,

Remember..we will all have moments in our life when old symptoms of anxiety crop up....this is normal and we are human....we will always have our "moments" but if we continue to do our "cognitive calestenics" i.e. journaling, relaxation tape, tapes, checking in with therapist for a check up from the neck up...then we will maintain emotional strength....the brain is no diffrent than any other muscle in your body....it needs to be excercised to stay fit! Take Care and God Bless!!!!!!!!