I finished the program in April, and have never really visited here. My life is soooo much better except in one respect.
I don't know if I love my wife anymore. Now that I am "cured", we don't seem to have as much in common.
She is not a bad person - she really is not. But many things about her now seem wrong to me. Her general attitude, her prejudice against others, her pushiness. These are not new things - I am just seeing them in a new light.
Now, to be fair, she has been supportive in my changes (except when they interfere with something she wants or makes her feel that she is not "keeping up" with me). And she has tried to make many changes as well - but sometimes I feel she is only doing it because my success is making her feel guilty. And she is not trying very hard to change the most important things that we learned in the program (she would NEVER do the program).
Is a drifting apart inevitable? I already find myself longing to spend more time with friends that I am now more compatible with than spend t with her.

Sean

I don't really know how to reply. My hubby and I were always very close. HOwever, your drifting apart might be normal. If you were very panicky and agoraphobic you probably spent a lot of time with your wife, even using her as a safety net. If that is the case your "pulling away" from her is probably natural. As far as her bad habits, you might tell her that her negative attitude is affecting you. When she starts this I would simply walk away from her and not comment. That way she will know you don't like it.

Hi Sean I can relate to what you are saying there I have the same problem just a little different .I wonder why that is that that happens .My guess is we have changed and they are confused or, something like that .But I belive it is there part to speak up about it and say HEY we are not in this alone are we .Marriage is a commitment of two people so both should work at it together. Well thanks Sean I guess I just needed to get that off my shoulders. I hope that things work out and you and your marriage.You are just going thew some changes and it just not easy to change is it? I know it well worth it to do it.

quote:

EXPERIENCE

If we could sell our experiences
for what they cost us,
we'd all be millionaires.

- Abigail Van Buren

Sean,

Here is a site that might help you

www.famtoday.org

You have worked hard on yourself. Now I'd encourage you to work hard on your marriage. It is worth it. Begin to date again. Be romantic.

God bless!

quote:

Originally posted by MRT:
[qb]"...work hard on your marriage. It is worth it. Begin to date again. Be romantic...[/qb]

i have been trying. and just this past week i sense that she has started trying a bit more as well. to be honest, i have some doubts about the future, but i certainly haven't given up yet. but it is strange because i feel like i am "testing" her. i guess in a way i am. i need to know does she truly love me, the new (real) me, or has our relationship been more based on taking care of me or whatever. guess i'll find out before long.
there is one other kink in the works but i'll save that one for a later post.
thanks for the support and advice!!!!