Hi, I thought it would be good to start a topic on how we're dealing with the stress-good or bad- of the holidays? Are we doing too much? Eating too much sugar? Worrying about money? Worrying about relatives and what they think? Enjoying the moments?


I have had a growth spurt season this fall, so I have been noticing my anxiety levels. I, like most of us, experience anxiety when I'm overtired, and trying to do too much without a plan. Can anyone relate? I know they talked about it on the tapes--high expectations of myself.

Yesterday it was 40 minutes to my daughter's last ballet class for the term and I had the sudden idea to get her teacher a flower-- i pictured a cyclamen wrapped in pretty foil as i had been seeing them aroud. So we rush out the door. Store 1--flowers, but no pretty wrapping, store2--doesn't have a floral dept. anymore. i race my daughter to class, and continue on. Store 3- well they have other pretty plants, but not the one I had in mind. Store 4- don't see what i want, get sent all over looking for it, see a red one, but my daughter wanted it to be pink... Store 5 (and this is walmart) dead flowers, no pretty wrapping. Back to store 4 and I find one of what i want mixed in where i hadn't seen it before. All this time my stress level is raising.... the teacher liked the flower--- but was it worth it??? The day before i had done the same thing looking for craft project supplies for my other daughter, went to several stores, got totally frustrated, was late to my eye appt, had to wait an hour there-- I was so exhausted. All because of lack of planning and not just saying NO or it will have to WAIT, thinking I can do so much in a short tiem, esp. with the business at this time of year. There was no urgency about nayof these things-- but i created it! i really want to change this habit.

I want to enjoy the season, sit by the window and listen to some music, have some unscheduled time, and plan my shopping in a wise way,a nd take care of myself--- I'd love to hear how nayone else is doing or what you are learning.

mintflower,
I hear you!!! I love the holiday and holiday spirit, but this year is going to be a sad one, my mother in law passed away in august and it seems our family is getting smaller and smaller. But we doing all the things we always do anyway. We are trying make our grandkids christmas gifts this year because, money is tight. And i think it is for everyone. But, if we remember the TRUE meaning of Christmas, who its about, and calm down, and relax, we will have a much better Holiday. "Do just TODAY" and your worries are lighterNelly

I can relate, too! I was running around for "just what I wanted" and finally realized that the person was just happy I had thought of them. In fact, I think one homebound lady liked the fact I came and visited more than the gift!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: rica516,

This year I am definitely doing things different, thanks to the Attacking Anxiety program and lowering my expectations. In the past, I've always wanted everything to be perfect... perfect gifts at the perfect price, perfect wrapping, perfect decorating, perfect party treats, perfect tree (I laughed at Lucinda's story about running around trying to find the perfect Christmas tree because that is EXACTLY what I've always done!).

This year, I am much more relaxed about everything. We spent one afternoon putting up the old fake tree we had stored in the basement instead of dragging my frozen, protesting family around a Christmas tree farm looking for a fresh tree that is just the right color, shape and size. I didn't care if all the branches were in the right order, I just stuck them in. I let my husband do the lights (and he actually did a better job than me) and I let my six-year-old son decorate it anyway he wanted and fought the urge to rearrange the ornaments to my liking after he went to bed (which I have done in the past). It was so much more fun letting everyone do their own thing instead of me telling everyone what to do or telling them they weren't doing it "right." We listened to Perry Como sing Christmas songs and we sipped hot chocolate, and when we were done we watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by the light of our tree. I also put my son in charge of the nativity scene this year, not caring that Mary ended up kneeling in the back corner with the shepherd instead of with Joseph in front of the manger.

For gifts this year I am taking advantage of free shipping to order many of the gifts on my list online instead of dashing from store to store to find the perfect gift, comparing prices, trying to get the best bargain, fighting the crowds and the traffic. Why deal with all that hassle when I can shop from the comfort of my home with just the click of my mouse? And if I don't know what to get someone... a gift certificate will do just fine.

As for wrapping gifts... no one has even noticed in the past that our wrapping paper and ribbons coordinated with the ornaments on our tree (unless they were rolling their eyes behind my back, LOL)... so this year I'm bagging them all! Better yet... I am reusing the bags that we received in previous years!

And when it comes time to make cookies for the first-grade Christmas party, I'm going to get some of those cookie loafs where you just whack off hunks and plop them on the pan. Kids don't care anyway if they're store-bought or homemade, so why put so much effort into it when I don't even enjoy baking in the first place?

There. Christmas is taken care of. And now I can spend more time doing what I REALLY enjoy at this time of year... buying gifts for the Giving Tree at church, washing coats and sweaters to go to the Salvation Army or Free Store, rounding up toys for Toys For Tots, and running errands for people who are housebound. After all, that is what the spirit of Christmas is truly about.

Happy holidays!

Jen

I'm becoming a big believer in shopping online as well-it's so easy and you can find good prices, i'd reather pay shipping than the gas and time and stress it causes to go all over town. i also bought some gift certificates this year.

Hi!! Thought I would chime in and second (or third) the shopping on line idea. I usually buy stuff during the year, especially if I can find it on sale, so I will have it for Christmas. Our holidays are so busy here that it just doesn't pay for me to wait. If I already have gifts for my girls, it doesn't bother me to get those few last minute gifts for others (even if it means going to the mall ).

We have really toned down our running around this year as well. I thought it would be nice to have family time, and to have time to do something for someone who really needs it.

I agree with what you said, Mintflower, about not taking care of ourselves during the holidays. I realized today that I just need to slooooow dooooown, get plenty of rest, make time to exercise/do yoga, drink lots and lots of water (and some egg nog), and not overdo the sugar. Then the rest seems to go pretty well. Also, it is okay to say "no" to some things. It has been really hard for me to do that in the past, but people usually understand, and I feel much better when I'm not exhausted!!

Hope everyone has a wonder Christmas!!! Take time to meditate on Jesus, and the wonderful gift He was to all of us!!

~Jennifer

Hi mint flower .I was reading your post and then I said humm haven`t I heard this storie before? On my program there was a lady who is talking about her daughters getting a pictures done. so she decided that she would like to make sure the bowes matched to the exact color. So she looked and didn`t find any thing that worked for her. So she made them her self. We are the ones that do everything so pefect. So remember we are not perfect ( oh ty God) and it`s ok ,there`s alot more freedom on the other side of the coin . I wonder if the teacher would have been just as happy and touched by a flower from store 1 . It`s just so nice to be appreciated these days . So remember we are not pefect we are just doing the best we can and that should be enough. we are learning to respect our selves now. So take good care and have a merry Christmas and a new new year .

Hey all,
Well i was doing fairly well till last week. I had everything pretty much under control. then BAM!! i wont go into details but, its not so much may anxiety as it is my depression, and now my diarreha has started again. Im going forward anyway, but its been very difficult, especially with stomach problems triggered by things. So, this is what im going to do, im going to turn it over to the Lord, and continue on knowing that only HE can do something about this. Merry Christmas to ALL and God Bless you allNelly

I've had a couple talks with friends lately about our expectations-- like that decorating the tree will be this idylic time with hot cocoa and christmas music, so when the kids are impatient and it's not turning out to be a perfect evening, I realize my expectations need to be lower. Samw as playing games with the kids, I think it's a treat for them to have me play a board gsme with thme and I get so mad when they end up fighting over the rules. I need to tell myself that this is part of parenting, a teaching time for their behaviour and not expect it to be perfect. And then sometimes those really sweet moment surprise me when I least expect it and everythings not going according to plan, but we're having fun together.

Mintflower,
I have had many years of trying to cope with the C'mas season. This year I have ignored it til yesterday. This way it has not been such a long time of pain. I did not force myself to do any decorating or baking this year. My best C'mas was when I spent the day alone, just talking with the Lord. He met with me during that quiet time.

I need some help working this forum thing. Until I post a msg. I cannot see anyone elses replies, so don't know what has been said on a topic. Can anyone tell me about this? Also on the reply page, what does one put in the little square b4 the question? And what goes in the little boxes following the word 'message' ?
Does anyone chat within a certain topic? Like this C'mas thing - can we chat together on it?
Sounds like all you who replied on this topic would be great people!

Hi robin, I don't know about the technical ? you have, but i think there's a place you can ask ?'s or send the Midwest center an email. I'm soorry this is a hard time of the year for you and I'm glad to hear that you find comfort in Jesus.

Where is Spruce grove?-- i lived in AB from age 7-17.