Talk about stress turning into anxiety...here's the scoop. My daughter is coming to visit me in early July. This is the one that has always caused me so much stress and anxiety - shes always been the rebel. We have come a long way in the last three years, but we have always got along better living apart rather than near one another. Because we have got along so much better these days, when she wanted to come for a visit, I agreed. She will be here 9 days!!! Yikes. Her boyfriend is coming with her and I understand he is very, very good to her, which is a huge relief because all of her previous boyfriends have been real creeps. They want to sleep together while here (they live together) and now my old fashioned ways and maternal instincts are coming out. Also, she smokes pot and wants to while she is here - Help! I just told her "there will be none of that going on here" and now I feel that old familiar anxiety with our relationship coming back. I've always been a conservative kind of mom and do not tend to look the other way - any advise on how to handle this upcoming visit so that it ends on a happy note. Calico

I like rebel children. They speak their mind and that is something that it's not often encouraged in young women. Of course there is a tactful way in doing so. Nonetheless, I'm glad that your daughter is assertive.

Having said that, I also believe that this is your home. You make up the rules. If you don't approve of her smoking (anything) or sleeping with her boyfriend in your house then she shouldn't. If she doesn't like your rules then she can find elswhere to stay for the next 9 days.

Ask yourself this: Would she not follow the rules if she was visiting someone else? There really isn't much difference here. Again, there is a tactful way in which to relate all of this to her. Everywhere we go there are rules and regulations that we must follow. Your home shouldn't be much different.

I have to ask this also. Are you not letting her do the above mentioned because she is a rebel or because it is truly diturbing to you? Do these rules apply to everyone that enters your home or just your daughter?

Cutufa, I appreciate your reply and since I posted that I have changed the way I am looking at this. I'm going to just enjoy her visit and not allow any "expectations" to get in the way. Calico