Hi,

Today I got a call from my Mom. She started out saying that she was going to get surgery next month (has been talking about it for years) because she was sick of the condition she has. She complained that she didn't have enough money, and could I please ask my brother to bring her some money this weekend as her birthday is coming up. I asked her if she's out of money. She says no, I want to go to the chiropractor this week. I'm saving the rest of my (S.S.) money for some groceries later this month. She was really negative, and scared me by telling me why should I pay for dentures? If I get the surgery and die, what difference do they make?
I could go on. I got angry at her. I told her that I wished I could help her but I'm her DAUGHTER. She has leaned on me like this for years. I told her look, I just answered the phone. She started crying and said I bet you wish you didn't answer it now. I said no that's not it, its just that if you want to ask (my brother) for money, ask him yourself. I feel like a big goat. (I should have said SCAPE GOAT) My brother hasn't said anything about getting a call. I suppose she's still hoping I'll say something and she'll get her cash.
I really do feel like a scapegoat. I'm just so tired of guilt trips.

Thanks for the vent,

Deb

quote:

I feel like a big goat. (I should have said SCAPE GOAT)

lol i relate, i never have the nerve to say the REAL thing so i always say something similar and she never catches on! We should try being more assertive nxt time.

I used to hide it all in just like you. If you let all these feelings stay in: Look for them to come exploding out when you have your nervous breakdown. They only care about what is going on in their little world and if you say anything but what they want to hear, expect to get aguilt trip for not agreeing. Most likely that is when they drop you from the circle.

My family is the same way; negative. Kill them with positivity, trust me they will talk about you but in the end they will be thankful that you were positive.

Best Wishes,

Vanity