Hi everyone,

I went through the program back in late 2000 and early 2001 and kept at it until about Nov, Dec 2003. I'm still trying to get it all together. I feel like I am starting almost from scratch as far as learning how to build a solid foundation on learning how to be an effective problem solver and get things done quickly. I think I am pretty good at solving a problem, at least average anyway, but it seems to take me more time than others to come up with the solutions. It seems like it has been this way since my last 2 years in college when I took a wrong turn in my thinking and came close to destroying myself with my thinking.

I was wondering if anyone has read any good books on how to cut through the "rif-raf" or superfluous (learned that one at Boy's State a long time ago ) stuff in your life, i.e. mowing the lawn, house repair, washing dishes, keeping office organized and other necessary but less important "stuff" and get to the important "stuff" like job, preparing for a new career, finding the time to study for a certificate like a CPA, Pharmacist Tech, etc?

Most of it is common sense I guess, but was wondering if anyone had found anything to help make you more efficient and faster.

The Midwest program has given me back my ability to function. I was in bed with depression much of the time, not so much depressed as just inability to function. Poor hygiene etc. By working with the program I am back to almost 100% functioning. Sleep cycle is still something I have to work on, but am doing so and have found a method to get me back to getting up at 4 to 6am in am in 7 to 10 days if cycle gets out of wack.

One thing I have learned about myself is that through my negative thinking about myself I became less and less functional and in the process I learned how to be "helpless". In this process a person's thinking becomes more and more distorted to the point you honestly believe a lie that you are completely helpless. It's a long road back and I am still trying to learn to be responsible for myself.

Anyway, let me know if you have come across anything that helped you. Thanks.

Hi Don,
I'd encourage you to read the book, Mental Health Through Will Training by Dr. Low. And if possible perhaps join a Recovery Inc. group. Through taking this avenue myself I learned that I struggled with the "smaller" tasks, which also caused me to struggle with the "bigger" goals because of my thinking habits and how I came to percieve these "tasks". I saw the smaller tasks as tasks that demeaned me and so I dreaded doing them and then I found that this somehow affected my not moving forward with my bigger goals. Recovery helped me to see what was going on and has helped me to change my thoughts about doing the smaller tasks which has helped me to feel better about myself and has aided in building my self confidence which has helped me move forward in my bigger goals.
Also www.flylady.com has helped me as well. The "fly" stands for Finally Loving Yourself". Their approach is to create new habits with "baby steps" in finding order in ones home and "life". This helps one not to come to feel overwhelmed while also helping one to feel they've accomplished things by rewarding themselves with "breaks" and "time off" from their good work. I know that the "flylady" name may put you off, but know that their are other men that have written in to say how much they have benefitted from this site. Perhaps flylady should get her husband to develop a seperate site for men. I know he helps her with her site, so maybe that might be too much for them. Oh well, anyways, I hope this might of helped and am wishing you the best with this. I've been there and still struggle at times with this. Have my good days and my not so good days, but know that this is "okay", "normal" and "acceptable". Keep taking one step, one day at a time, while being REALLY good to yourself.

Grateful
I love your post. That is me- I struggle with the small things and make them be a huge task in my mind and then I get anxiety and cant think straight. I feel that once I do the task and just get distracted I am fine but sometimes I procastinate and think negatively about it and then it makes me get depressed. But what I am trying to do now is make a list every day and accomplish most of it but I dont reward myself- I feel like I am always putting pressure on myself and that I should always be doing more stuff to fulfill my life.. do u have any suggestions that hel;ped you in the past?

THANKYOU gRATEFUL !!!
I'm living in a pig pen, totally confused and wondering what shoe goes on first after staring at them for what seems like eternity I GIVE UP AND GO BAREFOOT .I just came from the fly lady site it is fabulous, I liked it so much I joined and am eager to start my flying lessons. next time you hear from me I just might be wearing shoes

The program at www.drivingfear.com gets into goal setting, as does anything by David Allen. I also think Lucinda has another book that speaks to it, but I don't recall the title.