I am going through a growth spurt right now. Anyhow, first I was anxious due to a new job situation--then got insomnia. Now that I finally have worked most of the insomnia out--which was a big thing. I started to get more anxious again and have some depressive/negative feelings. Its like I was using each symptom of the anxiety to hide behind. I really have been using this condition to hide behind. I am really holding onto this anxiety like with my teeth and nails. Why? I guess if I face this anxiety--I'll have to make some life changes and be a lot more independent than I ever was. This is extremely frightening to me. I guess I feel what if I can't do it? What if I go out and be all independent and then fall into this anxiety trap again. It'll be months of hard work and who will take care of me? These are the thoughts going through my head. Yet I know I have to face my anxiety and just keep going forward. I just don't know how to let go of the anxiety I feel about this life change. You would think I'd be ecstatic to finally be able to use my new skills and really face these anxious feelings. I'm really not that happy about it. (isn't that crazy?) i don't want to feel this way. i guess I want to feel great and hide in my dependent world again. However, this does not work--it makes me feel miserable. Can anyone relate?

Marija,

Oh i can totally relate hon. I still have a LOT of changing to do. I'm 23, still live at home with my parents, cant drive, don't work and quite a few other things as well. I've over come sooo much but it seems like the hardest thing is becoming an independant person. It's almost like learning to walk all over again, ya know? The world is so big and soooo new once you've overcome the main part of anxiety that it seems overwhelming.

The worst thing we can do though is fill ourself with those "What ifs" and negative thoughts. Some how we have to change those around. We need to believe ourselves when we say "Hey, i can be independant, i deserve to be happy". Lets both try to work on picturing ourselves out there in the world for the next week, what do ya say? See if we can get some positive happy images going on with what we'd like to do. Like maybe we could take 15 to 30 minutes a day and picture ourselves in a situation that would normally scare us, only change it around so that we're calm, relaxed and happy to have the thought in our heads. Then at the end of next week we could write down how we felt during each expierence and see what needs to be worked on. Let me know what ya think of the idea hon. Hope this was of some help, Take good care!

Doyle

That's a great idea. Tomorrow night I'm supposed to go out to dinner with some moms at my mom's and tots group. I have been back and forth a hundred times about what excuse I could give the moms if I just can't get myself to go. I would like to go. I think it would be great for me. The thing is I can do this--when I'm not in the middle of a growth spurt. But right now, I'm not really sleeping well. So I may be tired. Its not that I'm afraid of socializing. I don't know exactly what it is that I don't want to face by going out to dinner. I think that I am starting to feel a little better and I don't want to mess up my success with a failure. The other thing is that it is all the way downtown--and I'm not sure where the restaraunt is. Plus I would feel so guilty leaving my husband with the kids on a Saturday night. I also have to be well rested for the next day because there is a lot going on. Do you see all the excuses and reasons I am coming up with? Ahhhhh! I think I just better go and stop agonizing myself over it.

Thanks for listening.

Marija,

Maybe this dinner could be one of the steps towards getting out of that growth spurt. Just think of how great you'd feel if you did go. Lets see if we can take a look at your reasons for not wanting to go...

First, it's only a dinner, so i'm sure hubby wouldnt mind taking the kids for a couple hours. Mom's need alone time too . Now, if your worried about where the restaurant is, maybe you could just call up one of the ladies your more comfortable talking with and tell her your not really used to that side of town and ask her for directions? Couldnt hurt to ask right? Worst she could do is say "Nope cant tell ya, you have to play drive and seek" ..lol and i dont think she's gonna do that.

Try finding good reasons to go instead of the negative ones. Like "I get to go and spend a few hours with the ladies" "It's only a couple hours so i wont be home too late" "It will feel good getting out of the house for a while" "If i'm tired, i can take a nap before i go or just go to bed once i get home". I mean, if you really don't want to go, thats a different story. You don't have to go if your just not interested, but if your using those negatives to talk yourself out of going, try changing them around to the positives. Good luck to you and if you end up going, let me know how it turns out, bet you'll have lots of fun if you do go . Take good care!

Doyle