I can seem to wrap my mind around this, listened to the audio session 3 times already, I just can't seem to find my way in this session at all! even though I just start it on sun. I can't see the gains I am getting by this disorder, did any one have problems with this?
Any advice or help would be great!!!!!

Oh, yes, Marshall. It is normal for an answer to come to that. There is really so much resistance to that question: What are my gains from this disorder. But they're there and if you just ask the question once or twice a day and then get on with your day, your mind will let you see the answer when it is ready. Be patient. Don't look and look for it as that is resistance, too. Just ask the question. Allow the answer to unfold.

While listening to the lesson I have found that I am putting things together. I know I have found to myself that maybe I am starting to understand why had felt the way I did about my son-in-law for years, the way I feel that my panic attack started (being in a very demanding and closed in situation) and loosing very special people in my life. The question I am asking myself is, is this the beginning of letting go?

Marshall and all
I always thought that was so far from my situation, why would I be getting any secondary gains from this condition. Recently I have been realizing trends, besides getting attention from those who know you are going through this, I think the biggest gain for me is that if I dont feel this way I feel something bad will happen, In other words I have to put myself throught this in order to feel like I can deserve my life. It is almost like a sfety net, it is also an excuse from keeping you out of situations you do not want to be in..

I had a real hard time understanding that one myself. I really don`t believe ive ever figured it out. Why would anyone WANT to stay sick with this just for attention ect. NOT ME
I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy.
Hope you find some answers.

As you know from listening to lesson/session 12, I didn't 'get it' either. But once I accepted that we don't do ANYthing that doesn't have a payoff...[couldn't figure that out either for awhile]...I finally figured out how to Dig deeper than just not wanting to be this way, and deeper than getting attention.

Let me use this as an example: If I give money to a charity, what's my payoff? I get to feel good about myself. I get to feel helpful...

Let's take something that isn't quite as easy to see...I may Want to get over my agoraphobia, but it's SAFER to Stay agoraphobic. If I stay this way, I don't have to feel the uncomfortable feelings of challenging it. [that's just ONE payoff]

There is a Payment AND a Payoff for every single thing we say and do...

How about some of our "graduates" coming in with some posts that illustrate this FACT.

Once you catch this concept you will Never be the same-and that's OK. Love and Peace, C.

Oh lets see Carolyn, I want to help so very much. I can't say that I fully found the answer myself on this one, but I do see where you are coming on your answer. What I have came to is that while we may not ever fully understand maybe if we just except it and not work so hard at understanding life still becomes easier. I honestly don't understand all of it, but threw talking to people I have found so many people lost somewhere in between what we think is "NORMAL" and anxiety. They find comfort in things I am able to send to them, so I feel that if the Lord has this as my calling then to His glory I will carry it to them. Somewhere in there I find comfort. And one day with His blessings we will find all we are going after and have peace. So all hang in there and don't give up, just because we are still a little lost.