Some positive things are going to happen in my life and I don't know if I'm prepared for it. I'm 36, lived on my own since I was 21, never married, but had several relationships. When my anxiety started last year around when my last serious relationship ended and my brother moved out, I didn't date anyone this whole past year. I was so lonely, but at least the stress of it all was gone. Now big changes are happening and I'm a little scared about how I will react. I met a wonderful guy and we have started dating. This is freaking me out in a way because I have intense happy feelings for this person, but I don't want it to reach the point where I panic because of them. My brother is also moving back in and I welcome the company, but again, there is added stress to living with your brother, good and bad. So, all this good stuff is happening and I don't know how prepared I am. I remember lucinda in her book saying not to deny yourself the things you want, to do it anyway despite the anxiety. I try to remember this. Anyone experience some happy changes and how did you cope? Was the fear of anxiety worse than the reality once the happy event came? I just want to handle this all in a mellow way, not in a super hyper way because I'm happy and the adrenaline is pumping.

It's funny, I posted a while ago about how I felt like getting good news always made me anxious! I think it's because we interpret any strong emotions as "anxiety", just because they produce body symptoms. So, the first thing, I would say, would be to recognize what you are feeling for what it is--excitement and not anxiety.

I've found that I always handle good news and happy events much better than I thought I would. For example, for a while I was awaiting responses from grad school applications I had put in. To tell you the truth, I was more afraid of a positive response, because I was scared the "good news" would get me excited into a panic attack! But, good news came, and I handled it just fine; excited, but fine!

A similar experience happened at my wedding in August. I was just so happy and so excited and so overwhelmed that I began to worry that I'd have a panic attack during the ceremony! Luckily, our minister assured me that it was our ceremony, and if we needed to stop for a minute to collect ourselves, who cares? It's our day. So, she really calmed me down, but it turns out I didn't need it. I was nervous for the first few minutes, but then I had a great time. It was wonderful to be in front of so many people, telling them how much I loved my partner. And so, it worked out with much less anxiety than I had anticipated.

So, I would say, enjoy the good times while they're here, because we do a good enough job wallowing in the bad . I think you'll be able to handle it all much better than you suspect.

Lori, thank you so much for your advice!! It means a lot! I will remember what you wrote. Thanks for reminding me it's more the negative stuff that gets us going. I am going to keep moving forward and remember that it's excitement and it's okay. It's funny you mentioned your wedding... that's another one where I dream about it and then worry if I'd panic too. But that's getting waaay ahead of myself!

Please: don't start worrying about panicking at your wedding yet! At least wait until a few days before.

I have to say, I was doing pretty well then, with very few limitations, and I was absolutely petrified at the idea of the wedding ceremony. It's funny, because I don't have stage fright or social phobia or even a fear of public speaking (I'm actually a really big drama queen ), but it was the idea that this is a situation you just can't get out of. But, then I realized, says who? I mean, would it be such a huge deal if someone panicked during their wedding and had to get some air for a minute? Not at all. It would be kind of funny, and the guests would have stories to tell, but the day would go on and everyone would have survived and the marriage would still have happened, so who cares? And, actually, finding the humor in situations helps me a lot, and the humor of the idea of having to stop the ceremony because I was panicking made me laugh enough that it really helped.

I have a similar one when I'm driving. I get nervous that I might panic and need help, but no one would stop to help me. And I just think, "Well, if I panic, and no one stops to help, I'll take my clothes off. If I'm naked on the side of the road, someone is bound to help." And that always makes me see the absurdity of what I'm feeling and makes me laugh enough to keep driving.

Anyway, best of luck with everything. It sounds like things are going great for you!

Lori