why would knowing why u cant change help u change?

Hi, Li. It's not that you CAN'T change. It's that there may be some advantages to staying where you are. I know that sounds impossible, but please try to keep open to this idea. It's very important to recovering from anxiety.

And just because you may be getting something from staying anxious doesn't mean that you want to be anxious or that you are doing this on purpose. It simply means that on some deep level the anxiety has some kind of benefit to you (in spite of the deep, deep pain it is causing on the surface).

I hope this helps a bit. Just keep working on it. You will understand more as time goes on. Good luck.

The point is that PEOPLE CAN CHANGE but sometimes, for particular reasons, DONT because changing is scarier than staying the same.

In other words...Let's say an agoraphobic has been stuck in their house for years; has worked the program and learned new skills. Having the courage to change would mean putting those skills to good use BUT there are some individuals that stay stuck and do not move forward because actually having to DO something outside their comfort zone is unacceptable to them. Therefore, as a result, no healing takes place because the "behavioral" part hasn't changed.

It truly is a matter of personal "WILL". You can recover as long as you DO the work regardless of how you feel. It's a matter of acceptance including the uncomfortable feelings you feel when challenging yourself. In order to recover...one must have the WILL to bear discomfort and DO the work. The mind, when in the cycle of anxiety and/or depression cannot make sense of these skills... BUT the truth is that working the skills DO work if the person is willing to DO the work.

quote:

Originally posted by li:
[qb]why would knowing why u cant change help u change?[/qb]

The same way why knowing why you can't walk might help you walk. If you have a broken leg, you understand why you can't walk and find a way to heal the leg so you can walk again. If you have neurological damage to your legs that is permanent, you will need to find a way to live with the permanent inability to walk.

Anxiety is fixable. If you understand why you are anxious and can't change, you will understand that anxious thoughts can be healed and changed.
Damaged thinking is NOT permanent. It can be changed and healed.

Tammy

Anxiety is a LEARNED behavior. In other words a habit. Any habit can be changed. Any learned behavior can be unlearned. Its not easy. Its not always fun. The problem is in our flawed way of thinking and acting. However helpless we sometimes feel we do have control over ourselves.

Amy