yikes!
My question is: How do you deal effectively with change when it happens in such a large scale and one where there's no turning back?
My husband and I put lots of thought and prayer into whether I was ready at this time and we knew we were. My counselor agrees. Life can't stop. But, I'm 2.5 months in and having a little circular thinking mess that I get caught in as usual. It's a normal anxiety batch for me, but still upsets me because I let myself get into it in the first place.
I'm tired and worried that I'm not happy enough about being pregnant. That leads to a fear that I'll develop depression. It usually always goes to the same general scary, obsessive thought. I see myself doing it so that's good I guess. I know my circular thinking isn't truth so that's good. I just get so darn frustrated that I can't handle it better and stop it all together.
Will I eventually get to the point like they say on the tape where the positive thoughts get more focus and it's not such a battle between the old thinking and new replacement thinking??? Will I have to fight this through my pregnancy or do you think the "change" of actually being pregnant will ease up and not mess with me so much the further along I get?
I really like that idea about getting comfortable with change in life; the inevitable. That seems so far away from me though. The unknown in scary. Will it get better as I get older?

I value this forum and being able to share what's in my head. Thanks.

KDlady,

Try to enjoy the experience, I just had a baby, he's 15 months old now. I felt wonderful during my pregnancy!!!! I have begged the dr to give me hormones to make me feel like I did when I was preg... No kidding, not one panic or anxiety attack. The first of the pregnancy was the hardest, just getting used to such a big change in your life, but you will feel better soon.... Probably the best youve felt in your life.... Enjoy it, it truely is a special time.

Clark33

Thanks so much for your reply! Yes, it's a huge change and I guess that's my big challenge.
How'd you do once you delivered?

I read a month ago, I just looked it up again, They are saying that post partom depression is caused by a shortahe of Omega 3, if it cause depression, perhaps you are already short on that. My cousin is a Dr. of Natural Nutrition and he tells me the best one to get is called 3-6-9 it has more than one type of oil. you can get it in many brands. He likes The Vitamin Shope. I get it in the mail. I am also hearing many times wormen have gallblader problems because of the omega oil defficincy, and post pardom heart attacks are on the rise because the baby will take all he/she needs. and leav the mother with nothing so it is a good idea for your over all health, to be taking Omea Oil 3-6-9.
I don't have any wonderfull pregnent stories I never had a wonderfull one. but I can tell you I had 2 wonderfull children that are precious, and worth all of the discomfort, of the mear 9 months it took to make them. Get lost of rest, and eat well. you are eating for 2, and builing that little body, so eat lots of proteens,meat and darry, enzimes vegitables, and fruit, and stay away from sugar,and food additive like High Fructose Corn Syrup, a known cause of diabetes.

Listen to music that makes you happy watch happy movies turn off the news. Go outside and walk, that was the best thing for both of us. it rocks the baby, and you get stronger, more stamina so you can keep up with the mearrathon runner you are about to have. Use the Stress Tape, anything you can to stay in a good mood. Don't barrow truble from tomorrow, nearly every thing we fear never happens. The special momments when he/she starts kicking, and when you get to show a brand new face to the family, then the family to those curious eyes, and open the world to him/her. Those are speciall and forever. The only thing that acrually makes a diffrence in this world is our childrn. You have been blessed with the most rewarding, hardest, precios, worthwile job on earth. Mother, for the hand who rock the cradle rulles the world. God Bless you!!

Yes! My husband and I both take Salmon oil most every day. I've read the same thing and it's also great for the baby anyways. It's very true that the things we fear usually don't happen anyways. I think we're tougher than we think!
Thanks for the help! The depression fear goes back to Session 10 because it's my big fear, but I think the fear of it is losing it's grip.
God's in charge of the miracles and he wouldn't use me if I wasn't ready, right?

Thanks!!

You are so right, This is a good day God is in it. He is directing your steps, He has given you such a precious gift, such a blessing, take care of it, God will help you, He is knitting together your child in your woumb. How Awsom, is his work in our lives. Rest, lie down in green pastures, know He is preparing a table for you. God Bless you and yours.

KDlady,

I had a c-section (not planned), but I did well with it, was up and going a lot sooner than I expected. I guess being like I am with anxiety I expected it to be worse than it was. I do believe that God gives you the strength at the time you need it. After delivery, I was so in Love with my son and in awe of creation... It is truely the best memory I have. On the other hand, as he is getting older and very mobile, and I have limited support, it is harder now than it has been so far. I have had a setback with my anxiety, but its not just because of the responsibility of the baby, there is some other stuff too... I guess this is what they call a "growth spurt". A good friend of mine tells me it will get easier with the baby (now toddler) soon. Hope this helps and all the best to you.

My first one was unplaned c-section, and I had planned on a natural birth, I let my dissapointment get in the way of my happyness, big time. I spiralled down, and the migrains didn't help with that. I can look back on all of that now and understand if I had trusted that God was in that c-section, it did save both our lives. but my selfritiousness, at the time made me unhappy for years. Now I know God did all I would let Him and He could have done so much more by my pride would not allow Him in my situatuation, I don't make that mistiake any longer. I know little is much when God is in it, His grace is sufficient for me. The problems I have with my health now stems from all of that, but it is healing now, and I am at peace with it all. Life no longer has to happen according to my planns and I am so much happyer, ridding along with God's plans!!!

Groth comes in stages, you have probably heard the words "it's just a stge she/he will grow through it" well it is true all of our lives we all have growth spurt's! even your child. Hang in there things always change and if you can stay calm, and content with the perfect precious moment, even when it doesn't feel perfict and it dosn't always look very precious, it is to God and believe! He is working in every moment, for your highest good, and your child's, you can relax and go with the flow eaiser. I see such relzxed parents, and children. now, and it makes me wish I had been. I was so up tight, and concerned, I look back at those times, and wish I had let life flow out eaisly, both my child and I would be better off today if I had not come down so hard on just how it should be. "Don't should on yourself, and don't should on your child" You are not raising her alone, God is right there waiting for you to let him help.

The terrible 2's don't have to be so terrible, "handle with love", the "I do it myself" 3's, the "no you don't" 4's, and the "you don't know anything, my teacher said" 5's/ amd so on don't have to be a constent battle, Pick your fights, stand on core issues, like respect for themselves and others, especialy you. Then let them grow, consiqunces are the best teachers, let them know what happens next and be consistent! If you didn't gorw up with a good example, use God's example He doesn't interfier untill you ask, him to, he lets us blunder on while he watches from a safe distence, so he can jump in if it gets dangerous. Now at the age of 58 watching my chldren raise those babies, I have a diffrent perspective than when it was all on my sholders. I had a loveing grandmother, that helped me to work through the; "what should I do's" She always told me to relax and enjoy them they will grow and go away soon enough. Don't wate to be happy when? be happy with your child now. Laugh at the so called "problems". and ask yourslef if your best friend acted that way how would you talk to them about their problem. God Bless you and your child. Get lots of rest, and be patient with him/her, and yourself. I believe Lucinda calls it compassion, I wish I had been much earlyer in my life!

Cheri, the way you share how you feel instantly makes me think you must be a very comforting person. Thank you. You've been a big help.

Clark33, thanks so much for your help and experience. It's comforting hearing that it really won't be nearly as bad as I could conjure up in my head.

God is good and gives us just enough strength. Thanks for reminding me of that!

You are certainly welcom!
God has brought to it, and He will see you through it, haveing been though this part already now I can look back on it and regret somewhat my attitude, during that time, and wish I knew then what i know now. "Every thing workes out for my good because I love the Lord, have patients, have faith, it will all work out right in the END

Stay in your present moment...enjoy the feeling of that child growing inside you, imagine the emmence love you feel for this little person, the warmth, comfort and loving care you will bestow on this beautiful bundle.....

Music by elton john, Lyrics by bernie taupin
Available on the album made in england

Hey you, youre a child in my head
You havent walked yet
Your first words have yet to be said
But I swear youll be blessed

I know youre still just a dream
Your eyes might be green
Or the bluest that Ive ever seen
Anyway youll be blessed

And you, youll be blessed
Youll have the best
I promise you that
Ill pick a star from the sky
Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
Youll be blessed

I need you before Im too old
To have and to hold
To walk with you and watch you grow
And know that youre blessed!

Enjoy your blessing! You are gonna be a GREAT parent!

KD
Congrats. One thing I can say after having raised 2 children, that are 30, and 27 now. Everything will change. The tiredness is being PG. If you feel ill it probably is PG. By the 3rd month you will start feeling better, and wait till the first flutters begin.
That was so bizarre for me. I didn't know what it was at first. Felt like little gas bubbled in the wrong place......it was my son moving. WOW that was so ccol. And when the baby really starts to move, it is really an exciting time.
Of course you will have fears, and once the baby is born, everyday will be new. Just as you get used to him/her acting one way, and think you finally have life under control......NOPE the little critter decides on going into another phase.
Having a child is one of life's MOST creative things in this life.
Try to stop second guessing yourself. Get on the roller coaster, and just ride it for fun. Lot's of bumps, and climbs, but that ride down is so lovely. It will never be easy, but that depends on you. If you make yourself crazy, you will feel that way.
I think the reason we bear kids early is that as we get older, change is SO much harder to do. As a younger person, you can make the adjustments. It might take a couple of days, or weeks, but you can do it, and actually love it.

bek