It's taken me 2 years to see what I've been getting out of my anxiety, but I realized it last week. CONTROL; or the illusion of control. If I worry about and focus on something uncomfortable then there's the illusion of control for me. If I hold onto it I don't risk the vulnerability of the present moment. If I "let go" then those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings could come rushing in at any moment and ruin it, so I haven't let it because I've been distracting myself with the discomfort. It's a mix of Session 10 & 12 with the distracting and getting something out of it...

This recovery comes in layers for some of us...mine has been peeling back and now we're getting to the good stuff (and the hardest stuff, too!) Don't get discouraged if it's taking longer than you'd like or if those peaks and valleys are challenging.
EVERYTHING happens for a reason and in the right season.

KDlady, that's it exactly it for me as well, only, I didn't know how to break it down and put it into words, really it was scrambled in my mind. You've helped me understand this in myself. How wonderful for you to have this revelation. How lucky I am to have come across this thread.

I'm on this very session myself and I'm not in denial at all, I'm just trying to figure out which one I'm getting out of it - maybe all the examples!

For sure control, comfort, attention and things are much easier. I'm realizing that I've been glued to my computer for so long as a way to avoid anything that is too challenging in life!

Once I start getting a little too busy I head back to my computer, my "comfort" but at what cost? I've been on this thing on a regular basis for over 10 years now, it is time to start cutting the cord, so to speak.

I have gotten so much from it, made friends and learned all kinds of stuff that I never would have known, but I really need to find THAT BALANCE. Know what I mean? I need a life outside of it for sure.