I was at the gym the other day and my brother was there working out. He said to me "I don't mean to pry and let me know if I'm stepping out of bounds, but you seemed to be really depressed lately. You seem to be trying to change into someone that your not." He said he could see it in my eyes (I looked in the mirror and I looked lost, I could see it as well)and that I just need to be myself (of course I don't know who in the world I'm supposed to be). Later on that day he called to apologize but I told him thanks and that sometimes you need someone from outside to notice things. I decided to tell him about the program (which I'd been wanting to for awhile). He said it's sounds good but was a little shocked. I think my head has been so full of thoughts about how I should be thinking and how I should be reacting to situations and what's that right thing to say at certain times that I don't leave time to relax or be myself (whoever that is) or smile. I feel I'm to busy trying to analyze my analytical behavior and it's bumming me out. Before this program I wasn't depressed I just had anxiety, I evidently was analytical but not this analytical. I wasn't a go getter, I had a fear of failure, and definitely a lack of assertiveness. I know deep down this program is beneficial but I feel so lost in trying to find myself that I don't seem to be enjoying who I am becoming. I understand changing is anxiety producing but I didn't think it would be depression producing. I'm going on vacation soon so maybe I just need a break from thinking so darn much. I don't know. Anyone else feel this way? Any suggestions?

Hello there,
I have been where you are. I was just an anxious person before the program, very very very obsessive. When I went through the program I began to become so obsessed about depression and then I think I actually created depression in myself. I recently went to a psychiatrist and he says I just have a classic case of anxiety with obsessions. Since depression and anxiety go hand in hand often he says he believes there might be mild depression but nothing major. This was the most relieving thing for me to hear. But, now I am going through the program again and this time it is so different because I am not being obsessive about the program. I am hearing things that have never happened before. I think after all my story, all I can really suggest is to say to yourself that depression is a human emotion. Everyone gets depressed. It is okay! And it will pass! It is completely fine that you are changing (by learning new skills through the program) and you are afraid because you don't know who you are changing into. This could be depressing too! Just continue to counter all your negative thoughts. This time through (only on lesson 4) I am actually carrying a notebook and it is working so well. I have never felt so great! I am no longer afraid of depression at all, I have the skills to help myself through that time.
I am not sure if this helps at all, but I can tell you I can relate to feeling depressed after going into the program, but not before.
I am here to tell you though, that it does pass!!
Take care, and continue on truckin' !

I remember when I first started experiencing panic attacks and went to a psych to get some meds. He says, "I think your depressed, I'm going to give you an anti-depressant...", I remember this like yesterday, I was just a bundle of emotions, but I looked down at my hands (which were sweating profusely) and I told him, "Who the hell wouldn't be depressed with hands sweating like this all the time?!
I never thought about depression until I got into reading about anxiety/panic attacks. I know you can get down feelings from all the 'worry and whys?' we seem to ask ourselves, or at least I did. But then I would freak out when someone talked about ooh make sure you don't get depressed
I know what you mean about being analytical on how your feeling and what your thinking. I do that to, I chalk it up to my obsessive personality. Always having to know the answer! Will I do 'this or that', will I behave 'this way or that way', will I react 'this way or that' etc... UGH!
SO you are right about sometimes there IS such a thing as too much thinking and not enough being. I feel like I am this way too sometimes...and you are right you get so caught up in what you are that you forget who you are, which is the 'right' you? Or at least I do
I hope this helps you,

trace

I feel like I haven't changed yet, and I am disappointed in myself because I really want this program to work.
I try to take in the lessons but I think I am not doing a good job of it.
I am also in cognitive behavioral therapy and see a psychiatrist.
I am feeling discouraged and doubt that I can be helpedf.

Just keep at it and you will do fine - I bought a few book on happiness... one is called happiness is an inside job. I think reading this book and really realizing that happiness is a attitude, not a condition has helped me sooo much. Hope this helps

"I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal... and soon they'll forget my number"