I can go out and do the things I need to do, Sometimes I am fine and other times I feel panicky, now I can get through doing what I need to do and when I walk out the store I say to myself well at least I did what I set out to do, so thats good, But the truth was the way I felt when I was in the store was not pleasurable, Yes I did it big deal the panicky feeling I felt is so uncomfortable .I keep this all to myself, Sometimes I wish I had a friend I can talk to, I have nobody, Yes I have a family 4 kids a husband, but nobody to discuss this with, I suffer from social anxiety so you can bet I am lonely as can be. The social anxiety started about 3 years ago I use to have some friends now I have maybe 1 who lives about 1 hour from where I live, I have no problem talking on the phone only the face to face thing makes me panicky. Well any advice would be great. Angie

Hello Angie,
I know exactly what you mean and I also have Family and 3 girls. And social anxiety. and with going out and doing what we need to do and still feeling all those weird things. I do not want to get to personal here. Plus I probly can write forever, But if you would like, we can e-mail eachother and or ICQ or AOL instant message. And I can help you,And be there for you, where you dont feel so alone. I have done the program in 1996 and have come a long way. And would help with anything I can.You just let me know.
God Bless you
Your friend
Laney = )

Hi Laney, Thank you for replying to my post, Did you overcome your social anxiety? if so maybe you can give me some advice with me my face turns red and I get very shakey and sweaty, and then because of the physical feelings I find it hard to concentrate on the conversation. like I wrote in my post this started about 3 years ago, But I had a problem with panic since I was 24 and going through a divorce with a 5 year old daughter(great time to hit huh) it seems to me when I get past one hurdle with panic and I feel pretty good then about a few years later something different with the panic hits now its the social anxiety, before this I never had trouble talking to people face to face. I had the panic attacks on and off for 14 years now,I have gone for as long as 2 years without panic attacks and when it hits I know exactly what it is, I am not afarid of it anymore, I just hate the feeling I do know it will pass as it always does and I have learned to be my own safe person,I bought the tapes for myself 8 years ago and it really was the best investment I ever made for myself, I just cant find a way to deal with the socializing, and like I said I have four children 2 girls 18 and 3 and 2 boys 10 and 11 its hard to have this problem . I just dont know how to help myself with this.. Thanks .....Angie ( kids are fighting got to go)

Hi Angie. I found your posting interesting. I think (and am hoping) that your confusion and frustration about how you should feel is fairly common and maybe one of many steps toward recovery. When we have suffered from anxiety for so long, I think it is hard to know what "normal" feels like. I've posted before that my therapist once told me, "Pam, you don't have to be anxious." That really did blow my mind! What did she mean? How would I respond if I wasn't anxious? Did she mean that I had a choice about how I felt? Really? I now carry a small, flat rock around in my pocket upon which I have written "You don't have to be anxious." I use it as a reminder that how I respond to a given situation is my choice. I have found, though, that it is sometimes a more difficult choice than I thought it would be.

I understand, too, your problem with face to face meetings. Those still cause me some problems. I have tried a number of things to minimize the anxiety in a face-to-face encounter and a few things have worked. I try to remember that I can always excuse myself and leave a situation if I need to. I also constantly remind myself to stay in the present moment. If I truly listen to what the other person is saying, I am less likely to listen to my runaway thoughts. But most importantly I have told myself that I MUST do more face-to-face discussions. For me, it is the only way to get over that fear. Besides, I am who I am -- if I have trouble doing the face-to-face, so be it. I can just say, "Hey -- I'm recovering from panic disorder and this stuff makes me a little uncomfortable. Bear with me and I'll be just fine." If the other person has a problem with it then its their problem, not mine. I'm not perfect and I don't want to be. I can only do my best.

I hope this helps.

Hi Mountaingirl, You know it is funny I started to write about one thing and the next thing I know I am totally on a different subject, I do have two questions, first when I go to the store and I feel panicky, I usually can get through it, and sometimes I feel good that I got through it But what about those 10 minutes that I really feel uncomfortable, Should I be glad for getting through it, But then I think how bad I felt while going through the panic, (I hope I am making scents to you) sometimes its hard to write how I am feeling into words. And the next part is the social anxiety I will try to take your advice and just practice socializing more I guess you cant get better unless you practice Right.. Thanks Angie

Hello Angie..
yes it seems to come with things going on in life.. Have not had an attack since way back when, I still here and there get paniky-yes, but know that it is me doing it.. Like seems more when I am down,like tired or Pms mode.. But do know with a family , how hard it seems. Like we are in a bubble and there living life.. But not true. it is fight or flight.. When you fight this, you beat it..
yes when you make it to the store and yes even paniky- You did it..and each time ..that gets easyer. Because we associate the stores and all with the panic feeling, or the social thing. all because were thinking to much on it..we need to except bad days and good, we are not perfect and never will be, so we need to focus on the present.. Take each day at a time. say I wont think on tomorrow. It is not even here..things like that. And yes, know all to well what haven no one to talk to is like, I did this mainly on my own, it is only now I am being in the open, because I am helping others, but other then that. we maily hide it from people and just come up with all kinds of excuses, to do things.. there are lots of ways to except what is going on and how to change it and go with your feelings and no one else's.. cause yes it is lonely. butttt..There are other things to put in place of the thought..takes time and work.. Like look at the kids.. There Gifts from God..when you are feeling down ..hold a child and be so thankful that you had them.. and the peace comes over you.. This is with lots of things. you have to put things in order..and then you will see the difference.In what the mind can do if we chose to let it..
yesterday was the past-Tomorrow is the future, but Today is the Present.
if you want to write e-mail..let me know..much easyer and personal.. plus you can keep on writing..lol.. And I can walk you threw things.
Keep the Faith God Bless You
Your friend
Laney = )
Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Hi Laney, Yes I would like to e mail you, Let me know your e mail address and I will give you mine,I see you are from New Jersery, I am from New York.. Well take care talk to you later...Angie

Hello Angie..
here is my e-mail- let me know when you get it.
awings352@icqmail.com
I will talk with you soon.
God Bless You and keep the Faith
Your friend
Laney = )



[This message has been edited by Laney (edited 01-31-2001).]

Angie..Hello

New York...This is Great, you are like across the street--woohooo.. wow, we can even meet- something to think about for the summer- NY takes about 20min to get to..
God Bless You
Your friend
Laney =)