I'm sorry to keep bothering people on the board with my story. I have definitely been helped by Claire Weekes, the program, and people on this board. Today, I returned to a therapist to see about coming back, who said that the therapist I'm seeing now is just frustrated because nothing is helping me. This really scares me. I told her that I think I'm not getting well because my child has autism and he's older and he's not getting better. She agreed. She said the panic attacks are easier to deal with then the grief of my son having autism. So, I know, what I'm destracting myself form, but I don't know what to do to fix what I'm destracting myself from. I can't cure his autism so, am I just completely hopeless? It's just hard to hear that there's nothing to help me.
Thanks for Listening and God Bless,
luvpiggy

No kidding, that is hard to hear! I think they are wrong, there is something that will help you and you will find it! You already know what you are distracting yourself from and in my opinion that's half the battle. I still do not know what I am distracting myself from! It will come to you, I know it will, I have started on my journey to recovery and if I can, anyone can, believe me! It just takes time, I have been at this for 4 yrs and it seems like forever. Your not completely hopeless Maybe you need to look into another therapist not every therapist is for you...know what I mean! I have been through 4 different ones so far. I wish you all the best and I do not believe for one second that there is nothing that is going to help you....it just takes time to find it!

I'm sorry but I think it was irresponsible and highly unprofessional for your therapist to say such a thing to you and I would file a complaint! You are not a lost cause. You are afraid and sad about your son and with the proper skills you can overcome this situation. I would suggest seeing another therapist who has more compassion towards your disorder and your situation. Of course you are anxious. I'm sure finding out your son was autistic was heartbreaking and it will take time for you to adjust. There is help out there for your son. Do some research and if you haven't already done so get him into a loving, educational program. There is hope. Don't ever lose hope. I know you can't cure your son's autism but you can love him and hold him and give him the best that you can offer. I can't imagine your pain and I only know a little about the disease but you CAN get better. Live for today. Sometimes accepting what is really helps to eleviate quite a bit of the anxiety. Do you belong to a support group for families that are raising autistic children? This may help you-- just having people that know your heartaches and being able to share with them your triumphs and your struggles would be really beneficial. Where there is a will, there is a way. Talk with other mothers who have autistic children and see how they cope. Maybe they have some strategies and insight to help you look at things differently. Best wishes,

luvpiggy,

You are NEVER a bother! Please, never, ever think that.

Your therapist has alot of nerve. Ok, so if you are distracting yourself, how are you to "face" the issue. I think that is what the therapsit should be concentrating on, talking with you and finding out why you feel this way, not just saying "nothing is helping". That is a very negative and defeatest thing to say. You are NOT hopeless, no one is hopeless. (even your negative therapist!) I know I cannot have children of my own, and yes even though we always said we would adopt even if we had our own, I still will never experience the whole 9 month thing and having created something so precious with my husband. I still had to grieve. I needed to stop blaming myself. I needed to realize that this was not my fault, it was no ones fault. I had to get over being angry, sad, upset, empty, just all sorts of negative, hurtful emotions.

Your son having autism is not your fault. You cannot blame yourself or anyone else. This is just something that happens. My cousin has Cerebral Palsy, a friend's daughter had a heart condition and passed away at 1.5 years old. These things are horrible, but do happen and are no one's fault. Part of healing is accepting and stop blaming or avoiding the situation. I do not beleive that there is no lost causes, include a person with autism. There is always hope, thre are new medical advances, technologies, so what is today may hold a brighter tomorrow. Yes, you cannot cure your sons autism, but you can be there for him, enrich his life as best you can, love him and let him know how much you love him. Just as I will never love my own birthed child, I have learned that I can stop blaming and accept that I am capable of loving a child that I did not birth. This was not the end of the world for me, but a new begining, a different path than I envisioned many years ago. I have greived and accepted this fact and I know I will be OK. My faith in God has given me strength and guidance.

Many warm wishes to you. You are never a bother, nor are you helpless! You are a very intelligent, capable, loving person. Remind yourself of that. LizB

If you are unhappy with this therpist, maybe consider look for other one. SOmetimes it takes to do the "shopping" to find a good therpist.. It took me a while until I finally found a great therpist that helped me so much... It is not worth your time to waste your time if you are unhappy with your therpist.. I would suggest find someone who is expert and familiar with panic attacks/anxiety even maybe use CBT approach method.

Hi luvpiggy,
I want to quote something schnauzermom said:

quote:

Part of healing is accepting and stop blaming or avoiding the situation.

Acceptance. That's the big word here. I know I've accepted my son's disabilities. Everyday they seem to be less and less a disability and more and more of an ability - just in a whole different way I wasn't familiar with before. I still research, read, etc. and look for different ways to help him all the time yet I'm aware I can't cure him. Anyway, autism isn't exactly a disease so I'm not even seeing it as something he needs to be cured of. All I can do is help him the best I can with what is known about autism and put that together with what I know about him. I know I'm making a difference in his life and this experience has taught me so so much.

We're the Moms of autistic kids and we're stronger than most Moms would ever have to be on a daily basis. So, if we break down every once in a while that's totally acceptable. We still have the strength to get back up again. I'm not surprised a therapist would get frustrated with you if they haven't been able to help you but what does surprise me is that they didn't mind admitting it. That tells me they know they're not very good at their job and they don't care if you know it! There's a lot of good therapists out there and I hope you can find one.

Hugs to you!

Everyone,
Thank you so much for replying to my post. I replied earlier after your responses but something happened with the computer and I have just now noticed it. I'm doing much better lately, and I love it. Thank you so much. Craw, thank you so much. I really would like to e-mail with you because you are someone who specifically understands my situation since you have a child with autism. My e-mail is dspenc3@slis.ua.edu if you are interested. I also wanted to say, that my son was trying to tell the babysitter yesterday that his stomach hurt and he said "Momma Pee Pee" which is great since he doesn't talk. There's probably a lot in his head that just doesn't come out.
Thank you all and God Bless,
luvpiggy

Thanks Cranberry. A lot worse has happened since then, and I am with a therapist who really helped me for the past couple of months, but then something happened last week regarding my faith. I told my current therapist that I wanted to find another way to do body work instead of doing yoga. She told me I was being dogmatic. I am a Christian who has tried Yoga before, but something about it just doesn't sit well with me, but there are Christians who do Yoga, even a popular Christian psychiatrist, but there's just something about it that bothers me so I just try to listen to my gutt without judging anyone who does do it. I mean I have done it before so I am not completely closed off. The therapist then told me that my religion as a Christian is going to hurt me, if I'm not open to other religions. She said love was bigger than my God because it's universal. She said I won't get better without going beyound my religion as the source of love, and that I want to get better the easy way. There is some truth in her point of view, but two weeks ago she commended me for taking the "non-easy" path to healing, etc. so it just didn't make sense. I'm disappointed once again, and you are right. We just give therapists too much power. I have prayed about the situation, and I feel like my God has validated me as His being my source of love and healing. It doesn't mean that I won't do techniques to heal, but some of them may conflict with my religious beliefs, and I am allowed to say "no" sometimes if I feel uncomfortable. I'm going to try it one more time with this therapist and be clear about how I feel, eventhough I tried to tell her how I felt last time. It's just that in the past she used my religion to help me, and honestly, that really is when I do the best. When I connect with Jesus, and feel His love for me, and understand suffering from His point of view. So that's what I need, but obviously there is just no perfect therapist. However, I really do think that I want things to work out, but I don't want to stay with the wrong person. I stayed too long with my last therapist who eventually told me that I didn't see her lock a door when I did, and just had bad boundaries. I just don't want it to be like that again, and this time I am paying for it because my insurance doesn't ever cover this therapist because she's a social worker. I do have a free option through an employee assistance program, and I know I can always try that as a safety net. Anyway, for the past couple of months, I really havn't had to be on here a lot because I've been doing so much better so I do like that. Anyway, didn't mean to ramble, I just didn't expect this post to come back up, so I took the opportunity to ramble and thanks for your reply.

God Bless You,
luvpiggy

Wow Cranberry! Thank you for helping me put things into perspective. I have an appointment with her in an hour, and I am nervous. I just feel like I should explain myself one more time, and if she sticks to her guns then that's it. However, you really had a tuff time. That reminds me of a time when I was feeling really crazy and like I would have to go to the mental hospital. I was using a microwave for my microwaveable spaghettio's in a cafe, and it was pretty much empty because it was at a University where all the students and a lot of staff had left for their holiday break. All of the sudden this man came up behind me and said "You can't put ice cream in the microwave!" For whatever reason, that's what he assumed I was cooking. . .ice cream. For some reason, that helped me put things in perspective, and I was able to quit worrying so much and accomplish some of what I was afraid to do the rest of the day. Wow, what a time you had!
Take Care,
luvpiggy