Hello to all,
I completed the program in july of 2002 after about seven years of therapy off and on. I was on a major high. I was "cured" and so I put away the tapes. However, about a year later after a trip down south with my girlfriend (who I had just moved in with) I had a growth spurt...so I got the program out and went through again..sure enough I felt alot better but still was a bit unsure so I started seeing a new psychologist. Since then I was doing better and about a year ago quite my job with an insurance company to write a screenplay(talk about a life risk) it was great for about 6 months... I am currently in the middle of a SERIOUS growth spurt that jumped up a notch last thursday, a lapse the likes of which I didn't think I was capable of anymore. Tried to get my old job back and probably can't (company politics) and things are uncertain with my girlfriend. My situation mirrors my initial situation when my anxiety was first triggered in university. I'm really scared that my anxiety is back for good..having alot of trouble staying positive, feeling really negative, and I'm avoiding stuff I didn't even avoid before...trying hard to re-program.

I read about people recovering for like 5 years at a time...I've only been able to manage a year at a time. I want the good feeling to last. If anyone out there has had a similar experience PLEASE let me know. I'm reviewing again but my faith is weak..so much hard work to fall back like this is tough to handle...I feel like the tools aren't working as well this time...someone send me a line. some advice or just a response would be great.

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marc

marc,

You have simply fallen into your old habit of things.

It's time to "pick up where you left off".

You also need to ask yourself if you ever overcame the fear of the anxiety and panic sensations/symptoms. If you are still afraid of what you feel and question your sensations/symptoms, then it is not uncommon to fall back into your old habits of thinking.

My suggestion to you would be to focus on doing all the things you did before to get well. It worked before and it will work again. If you want to keep a good balance throughout your life then you need to use the skills in this program DAILY and not put them down but rather change your life to include them. When we are feeling good, it's easy to forget those skills and easily slip back into our old habits of thinking.
This is why using the skills is part of living and it's crucial that we get into the habit of asking ourselves those tough questions and ACT ONLY ON TRUTH.

You are okay. Anxiety takes the SAME route everytime. It's the same old way of thinking and same body symptoms. They may feel worse than before but that's probably because you haven't felt them for a long time.

Be good to yourself and accept your current challenge. Use your skills and DO NOT RUN from your feelings. There is NOTHING wrong with you....only your thinking that there must be something wrong if you are feeling anxiety/stress. Remember anxiety and stress are part of life, the sooner you accept it, float with it and not analyze the better.

Claire Weekes books are great! If you haven't read them, I encourage you to do so. You won't be dissapointed and it will help reassure you that what you are experiencing now is only body symptoms based on your thinking pattern.

Take Care and be encouraged!

Thanks for the reply,
I appreciate the encouragement and the advice. I went for a drive today across two big bridges alone. That is something I had been avoiding for awhile. I'm proud of myself. Had to do it, face the fear and know i would be ok. Put my foot through that anticipatory wall. I used to be an actor so it's weird that I am avoiding things lately, but I'm going to challenge myself a little everyday. I am going through the program again and think that ACCEPTANCE IS THE KEY. I am not perfect and its ok to have growht spurts, I will take your advice and trust the same tools will dissolve the same anxiety. A growth spurt is part of the recovery and money has been tight so I 'll probably feel better once I get out and work everyday too Out of work now so have to keep busy. Off to meet friend at a mall.

Again, thanks for the reply. If anyone has anything else to add about growth spurts that would be great. No more running! Accept, breathe, underreact. Expectations about recovery I feel are also very important..comments?

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