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"Attacking Anxiety & Depression" Program
Session 12 - The Courage to Change
Something I Realized...|
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I've sort of been going through a "relapse," focusing on all of my health anxiety issues. I sure must be creative since I've invented all new ways to scare myself again!
In any event, as I got to thinking about "Why?" I'm doing this to myself, I kept telling myself that "There's no reason to worry." That's when I caught myself say, much like Carolyn does in this tape: "But I have to worry, just in case..." Hmm...I think that's a clue, and working through that, I noticed that I get more scared by not worrying about possible health issues. It's as if I'm worried I won't catch something in time unless I'm constantly on the look out for every little sign/symptom. In fact, if I force myself to think without worrying, it's almost like I can feel how great that is -- for a second -- and then my mind quickly snaps back. I don't have much more of a solution to offer, but thought I would throw that out there for anyone else who might still be trying to figure this lesson out. In my case, I'm very much getting something out of staying "stuck," and my mind seems to think that's better than not worrying! Now, if I could only summon the courage to break the bad habit, and not worry. At that point I think I will have really made it through a huge "practice opportunity." |
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I can totally relate to your realization... and to add to that I tend to feel strange when I'm not worrying becuase I have gotten so used to this being who I am. It's so ridiculous that I actually get creeped out when I'm not anxious or feeling overwhelmed by panic. I'm not sure if I want to accept who I will be or won't be if I don't have anxiety as my "excuse" (not that I use it all the time or even most of the time .. but I justify things in my mind and sometimes to my husband because of my tendency to be anxious).
At first I thought the tape was crazy that said we are actually getting "something out of our worry" .. now I realize how true it is. I also agree with the fact that it's our minds way of distracting us from what's really going on. I hear you and I can't wait to be able to just be me and not be freaked out because I'm not being hyper-vigilant about my life, going crazy, health problems, weird body symptoms etc. I refuse to believe this is any of our destiny's in life. I'm convinced that it can turn around..and I am even more convinced that it has to do with retraining and learning who we are in the present moment ..moment by moment.. as we leave the thought patterns, anxiety, and mess of other things behind. Moment by moment... |
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Yes, I definitely think that one of my hangups is trying to visualize myself without anxiety. What will I think of? What will I worry about? It's been part of my every day/hour/minute thinking for 10+ years, so changing the habits is tough. I've just got to trust myself that I'll survive without all of these worries!
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I haven't gotten to this lesson yet, but I can't imagine not worrying about something. I feel like for the longest time I have been "on guard" and if I'm not something is going to sneek up on me and get me. So, I'm constantly in preperation mode. If I worry about it, I'm staying aware and it won't surprise me...I'll be ready for it, whatever it is! I can't wait to get to this lesson. I know that it is going to be a real challenge for me, but I'm getting good at challenging myself.
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Proud Auntie Joc! |
wow, this is something I have thought about a lot, haha. I posted in the humor section a while ago about how I think I forgot how to think like a 'normal' person. Like what did I used to think about before all this anxiety stuff? So much of my thought is about my anxiety issues. I try to remember what the heck did I used to think about all day?? I try to imagine myself without the anxiety and I dont know what I would do or think about, weird. I always feel like I'm bracing or watching for the next anxiety attack or issue to pop up--I dont know anymore how to let go and not think that way! I need to try though. Hopefully in time we'll feel more safe and confident in our own skins, trust ourselves that we are ok and be able to let go of the anxiety thoughts!
"The difficulties do not continue forever, yet the value of making it through them will always be yours." |
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Zoogirl:
Yep, exactly -- what do I think about if I'm not obsessed with my anxieties?!?! As you noted, it would be humorous if it wasn't slightly sad. I figure the best way to sort this out is to simply "try." Try and not worry. Try and think about something, anything. Try and catch myself when I feel that little tinge/pang of worry in my gut. Trying is what gets you to break a habit. I won't be successful 100% of the time, but simply knowing what I need to do isn't enough, either. I've just got to buckle down and make the change, uncomfortable and/or hard as it may be. I've grown tired of the anxiety, so I guess even if some changes are difficult, heading into the unknown has got to be better than this daily routine that I do know. At a minimum, I'll at least learn something that works -- or doesn't -- and will be all the wiser either way. |
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I'd have to say that's what I've been doing, as well. But I'm trying to remind myself that, outside of taking care of myself, I can't prevent scary health issues from happening. I can eat all of the right stuff, exercise, etc. and still end up with something horrible. At that point, what will all the worry & fear have done for me? Nothing, other than to make the days between now & whatever comes, miserable. Thus, if I can't prevent it via worry, why not try and enjoy the here & now? At least, that's what I'm trying to tell myself, though it feels awkward. But truly, "tomorrow is promised to no man." So why worry about what may or may not happen? I know I'm strong and smart enough to handle whatever comes my way, so I'm working to trust in myself and my capabilities if those things ever pop up. |
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This sounds as if I just wrote this about myself. I haven't gotten to this session on the program yet, but I'm wondering if I should do it now, because my worrying has got me stirred up again. I too am a professional worrier trying to quit.
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Yea, about the time I think I'm doing good everything comes down again. I finished the program before Christmas like my goal (prob.early Nov.) so much for that. I'm struggling all over with worry,becoming a nervous wreck and crying a lot. Guess I better bring out the tapes esp. on worry. This morning I did listen to the one on obsessing. I don't have the scary thoughts but definitely obsess when someone says something against me or what I find hurtful. Maybe they don't mean it to be hurtful but I take it that way. My husband is still having tests galore for his pain. Everything turns out fine every time. I still see him in pain and I'm stressing over it. I'm making mistakes at work because of this. On the tape about obsessing it says it's usually because you're avoiding something. What am I avoiding? Can someone give me an example of their obsessing and what they were avoiding by doing that??
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