Hi. I am on week 12 of the program and really making big steps. Yesterday I was in a crowded movie theater at the evening show and did not have ANY panic symptoms! Not only that, but I'm realizing that the panic attacks have been distracting me from dealing with my real problems- uncertainty, bad relationships, family issues- and I've decided to go to therapy and finally deal, knowing that it will be scary and difficult, but that afterwards I will feel much better.

Ok, that aside. I know I can deal with the little stuff now- overcoming my anxiety, learning to stand up for myself. But how on earth can I deal with real big problems? Sept. 11th threw me into a bad state, how could I calm myself down enough in that type of situation- where everyone is flipping out?? And then I'm wondering how to deal with someone dying or my mother getting cancer or losing an important friendship. How am I supposed to handle the BIG STUFF??

Hi SweetLissy!
Welcome and congratulations on making it this far!

You have come along ways in discovering that anxiety can be a great distraction. In fact, in certain situations that's what we do, distract ourselves from what is really going on in our lives.

In response to your question regarding the " big problems," can be answered more throughly in lesson 15. What you are mentioning are stressful situations. If we don't have any stress, we aren't living. You will learn the right way to cope, to keep your stress from turning into anxiety.

All of these lessons are in order for a reason. From what I hear you are anticipating the big picture, so you may want to review lesson 8.

In the meantime, keep up the good work and enjoy living in the precious,present moment.

Diane

[This message has been edited by dl (edited 12-28-2001).]

SweetLissy,

Welcome to the forum and the journey!

Even though I first completed the Program years ago and I�m freer of anxiety-panic-depression, I still grow just reading postings here, and I remind myself of important skills for healthier living whenever I choose to actively participate in the forum. So, I'm grateful for you being here today!

To be honest, whenever I�d experience the kind of circumstances you�ve described in your postings that seem beyond our control, I found one specific exercise suggested in lesson five offers immediate help. You may find out about this exercise on the Forum by clicking onto Get Into the Water and Out of Anxiety-Panic-Depression! In addition, consider clicking onto How Oprah and Dr. Phil had a Growth Spurt with Terror !

My own successes with the Program came directly from my own willingness to take responsibility and begin seeing this whole thing differently from what the licensed drug-pushers had been trying to sell me on. While going through the structure of the Program, I found the tapes to be the �icing� on the workbook �cake.� It worked best to daily practice one lesson a week in the workbook and move on to the next even if I didn't do a lesson perfectly. If I only got so far as to read a lesson, then I got what I was ready for at the time and picked up the rest when I was ready. Most of the time the next lessons helped to better understand and practice previous lessons. So, I liked the idea of keeping strictly to a week per lesson.

I found much control over the flow of the Program by considering my thoughts, feelings and activities as a water faucet, and I control the flow. I may at times turn it up to gushing, or turn it down to a trickle. It�s one way I'd more consciously determine the amount of change, clarity or honesty I�m willing to deal with at any moment, and find a better daily balance between feeling better and worse.

Understandably, people may find themselves in a different path of the journey, and I trust their own desires will guide them to what's the best timetable or activities. So, although it may be okay to hear other people's timetables and thoughts on things, I'd trust what you feel works best for you. As the Program suggests, become less affected by what you feel other's think you should be doing, and become more effective at what you want to do.

I�ve come to understand the Program is not a cure that is taken; it is a cure that is achieved through practice. Without practicing daily what the Program introduced I�d never have remained freer of anxiety-panic-depression.

Amazing things happen with practice!

I've found I grow as much from dropping a ball as I do from picking it up and running with it.

Be patient and compassionate with your self: We cannot expect to read or simply talk about the tools and techniques of the Program, snap our fingers, and suddenly be cured overnight of whatever bothers us. As lesson fifteen suggests, you may go through the Program in fifteen weeks, however, it may be more realistic to expect on becoming more enlightened, and feeling better and better while practicing throughout a lifetime what the Program introduces. I�ve learned I have no right to expect continually feeling better if I never venture to remain focused on the journey. I encourage you to remain focused on the journey well after �completing� the Program.

In the meantime, if you're interested in some of the most helpful information I�ve found about using and more fully enjoying the Forum, then consider clicking onto Look What I Found on the Forum.

If you�d like to learn more about my own experiences in all of this, then consider clicking onto Discerning the Intention of Anxiety-Panic-Depression.

Again, welcome to the forum and the journey!



[This message has been edited by Dolphin (edited 12-10-2001).]

Hi SweetLissy! Glad to hear that you are doing well with the program. Sounds like you have a great plan of action.

I just wanted to comment quickly on the "big stuff" issues. If you will remember, Lucinda talks a little about this on the tapes. It seems that those of us who suffer from panic attacks over the tiniest little "what if" often are calm when it comes to a big crisis. I know this is true for me. When everyone is flipping out and wondering what to do, I'm usually the one who is calm and telling other what they need to do to deal with the situation. We have a lot of strength that often goes untapped because we spend too much of our time scaring ourselves.

I just wanted to share that little thought with you . Good luck to you as you continue on your way to recovery!

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Mountaingirl
come forth into the light of things ~ let nature be your teacher. William Wordsworth

I agree with mountaingirl. WHen my sister was seriously ill I had to take her to her appts for medications daily for a few weeks. Before then I felt awful and after I was done I felt ucky again. But during that time when I was needed and no one else could help I was fine. I felt great the whole time. ANd after my grandma passes away I was the rock that got my mom and sister thru those decision making appts. AFter the funeral (I even sang at the funeral with my cousins) I went home sick but I got thru that week somehow. You will have the strength to get thru hard times. You will learn to allow yourself to feel bad for a short period because everyone does. No one is happy ALL the time. You are learning to take better care of you and also learning to listen to yourself. You will be fine. Reena

You guys are such sweethearts! Thank you all for your responses.

Now that I think about it, I am the one who springs into action when there is a crisis and does what needs to be done. I guess I will be ok and should limit my anticipatory anxiety over things I cannot control.

Have a great day!

You will find that a year from now half of what bothers you won't. AND 2 years from now less than that.

I was hoping that within 16 weeks of buying the program all panic and every fear of mine would go away. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. What I did find is that through changes in my diet, assertive behavior, exercise, relaxation and good rest that I handle things better.

I have to go to the dentist a week from Monday. Instead of it consuming every minute of my thoughts, it is just in the back of my mind, creaping up occassionally. But when I think of it I don't feel terror, just disappointment and know that I will take a Xanax (and not feel regret about it) and make it through. Maybe next time I will need only a half and then maybe none at all.

I haven't needed a Xanax in about 6 months. I am not controlled by it. I know that it is a useful tool for me that works. I know I don't need to prove anything to anyone and I will use what works for me.

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Always Hopeful, Betsy H.
Marietta, GA (East Cobb)
Get out and walk...five minutes today, six minutes tomorrow...until you work your way up to 30-45 minutes and day and see how much better you feel in just a few weeks.

Thanks Betsy H. Your comment on taking the Xanax to go to the dentist really clicked with me. I have been beating myself up for not being able to get off my medicine yet. I was down to half a pill and I got really super anxious and I was having horrible scary thoughts again so I broke down and started taking a whole one again. This doesn't mean that I will always have to. I thank God that medicine was invented for folks like us. I'll try not to be so disappointed in myself. My time will come.
Yellow Rose