That's what I am asking myself..... It's time to put-up or shut-up.... I hate what I am feeling ... But reluctant to change... I do not know what I'll become... on one side that's exciting... but I could loose my marriage of 24 years.... I have to take the chance, I cannot continue living this way. I will persevere....

That's the way to be positive!!!! Float with it, but don't fight it. Fighting it will only tangle you up even more. It's the worst to actually be fighting yourself, as much of us on this board do. Especially when you know, pre-anxiety...Lifes challenges were just a challenge, and not anything to get upset about. I wouldn't look @ it like taking a chance, more than just rediscovering the joy of life. Just know that you aren't alone, and you'll always have people on this board who are more than willing to be supportive!!!!

While I am understanding where they are talking about how this lesson could be one of the big ones. I am finding it is making me think about how I got here, if I am ready to face the reasons and go on (which I think I am ready) but am finding it is at least making us face it. When you say it could make you loose your marriage, in what area makes you feel that way. Is it a happy marriage the way it is, and at the same time could it possibly make your marrage better.

Good luck on you thoughts and could you please tell me some of the ways you plan on the change?

It would take a chapter to explain my marriage, but in short it was a marriage of convinience. I am affraid that the new me will push us further apart. She liked It when she made me angry and we argued (something unrelated) because it hid the underlying problems of our marriage. I faced my demons head-on, she did not want to face hers. Now she isolate her from me she does not want to deal with the root of our problems. She can't mask it with something else anymore (she told me it's to painful to deal with the past. )... I do not know how I plan to change .... I'll take it one day at a time... But I will change....

quote:

Originally posted by AnnetteW:
While I am understanding where they are talking about how this lesson could be one of the big ones. I am finding it is making me think about how I got here, if I am ready to face the reasons and go on (which I think I am ready) but am finding it is at least making us face it. When you say it could make you loose your marriage, in what area makes you feel that way. Is it a happy marriage the way it is, and at the same time could it possibly make your marrage better.

Good luck on you thoughts and could you please tell me some of the ways you plan on the change?

Thank you for the encouragement....

quote:

Originally posted by bernard123:
That's the way to be positive!!!! Float with it, but don't fight it. Fighting it will only tangle you up even more. It's the worst to actually be fighting yourself, as much of us on this board do. Especially when you know, pre-anxiety...Lifes challenges were just a challenge, and not anything to get upset about. I wouldn't look @ it like taking a chance, more than just rediscovering the joy of life. Just know that you aren't alone, and you'll always have people on this board who are more than willing to be supportive!!!!

Franklin I sort of understand where you are coming from. Mine is with a son-in-law and I know that is nowhere near a wife. People have to be accountable for their willingness for change. We can't do anything to push that along. I have found that we have to be happy with ourselves and it sounds like you are ready for it. The stress is hard on us mentally and physically. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. It is like the c.d.'s are telling us. We have to change and the ones that truely love us will understand.