I have many issues with change.

Changing therapists is one of them. People say I shouldn't get so attached, but how?

I am 21, almost 22, in college, work part time with mother.

I have a year left of college, and I am afraid to grow up.
Leave my comfort zone (mom) -- getting internship, graduating, oging on interviews, getting a real job

I want to change because I am unhappy with the way I am. Unhappy with my depression, anxiety, loniless.

I am afraid of the unknown. Hate Uncertainty

Because unhealthy attachment is both pleasurable, but also destructive, at some point hopefully you will see how destructive it is. Pain is what motivated me and it may be what motivates you as well.

Dear din,

WHY is the attachemnt unhealthy?

What PAIN motivated you to do what?

Being too dependent upon anyone or anything is unhealthy. We are seeking to get needs met by an unpredictable external source which may be there tomorrow or may not be. For the most part we were created to be independent individuals capable of running our own lives without the help of anyone else. Relying upon mom to do things I should be doing for myself is destructive because I never struggle to break free and make it on my own. I never cut the cord, so to speak. Our ability to make decisions is immature due to being dependent. Only through making our own life choices as adults do we learn and grow as adults. It's hard to grow when we are dependent. I left home at age 24 and didn't realize my dependency issues until much later. The pain was emotional pain from not having fully grown up. I wanted other people to make me feel good about myself instead of me doing the work. I wanted others to believe in me instead of me believing in me no matter what anyone else thought. When we are dependent upon outside sources for getting our needs met we are insecure and have low self esteem. We don't really think we are capable of running our own lives. We don't believe in ourselves. If we don't, no one else will either. It has to start from inside of us.

I decided that it was just as painful to remain in this state as it was to try and change and grow as an adult. Like you I was afraid of change, confrontation, making decisions, being responsbile, facing life, etc. It is scary, but it's a lot better than the way I was.